Is today over yet?

Do you ever wake up pissed at the world? And you really have no reason to be pissed at the world, you just are? And everything that happens from the moment you wake up pisses you off? For no rational reason? Yes? No? IS IT JUST ME?
Have you ever had a bodily function disorder that you were embarrassed to talk about, even to a medical professional, but you think that MAYBE, if you put it out there and ask someone about it, you might discover you’re not alone, that other people suffer from that same bodily function disorder and there’s even a cream for it, but just as you’re getting the nerve up to ask someone, you realise that it’s more than likely just you and you’re body is really fucked up and if you DO talk about it, it will just get really quiet because the person you THOUGHT might be able to relate is repulsed and scared for you because what is happening when you fart to your body is TOTALLY NOT NORMAL and there’s ABSOLUTELY NOTHING any cream or pill can do for you, so you just keep it to yourself and suffer in silence, counting the days until you spontaneously combust from the disorder? NO? IS IT JUST ME AGAIN?
Have you ever written a post and then, you couldn’t figure out a way to end it?

19 thoughts on “Is today over yet?

  1. Lisa in BC

    Premarin Cream. I got it from the doctor when it was 5 months and I was still too sore to have sex after baby’s birth.
    ……and I had a C-section!

  2. fran

    are you taking about butt farts or pussy farts…i am confused….
    as to your first paragraph, i think i know what syndrome you are taking about….it’s called “waking up from the other side of the bed”, a.k.a “i hate you world, i woke up from the wrong side of the bed and i hate because you won’t lull me back into bed” syndrome…

  3. yvonne

    Fran, I will NOT tell you if they’re queefers or just regular ol’ farts!!!!! And I will not tell you what HAPPENS when I fart that makes it abnormal.
    And Ben? SHUTUP! HAHAH
    I love how you people make me laugh even when I am pissed for no reason.

  4. Tracy

    Oh man…I have days when I’m pissed at EVERYBODY all the damn time. Poor Zack. He’s learned to back away slowly, and not make any sudden moves. Granted, that gets him yelled at for moving so damn slow…

  5. Kristi

    I hate to be just outright about this, but if you’re farting and peeing on yourself a little when you fart then thats due to poor muslces in your pubic area and thats when kegel is a good thing. I had a friend that suffered from that, everytime she would fart or sneeze or laugh she would urinate on herself us a tad and had to use pads. If thats the case then there is indeed something they can do for that. If its not the case well I tried to help :).

  6. fran

    you are not telling me what happens when you fart?
    what? clowns come out of your ass?
    it’s okay, clowns come out of my ass too sometimes…especially when i am dehydrated….

  7. Shelly

    I wake up pissed at the world most days. I’ve just learned to channel that into giving my co-workers hell because I think they deserve it. (Yea, be thankful you don’t work w/ me!)
    As far as a the freaky farting problems, I’m really really really curious so please share whatever the hell happens when you fart. Inquirying minds want to know!!

  8. mikey

    yeah, what is it that can be odd about your farts? do they echo? do they sound like yodeling? is there some sort of rhythm to them?
    or are they just plain smellier than usual?
    oh wait, i forgot. all your farts smell like roses.
    speaking of farting… ok, i’m not sure if i’ve talked about this before, but. ok, we’ve all seen people light their farts on fire. big deal. you know what we haven’t seen? someone blow bubbles with their farts. now THAT would take some talent (not to mention some serious fart force). just get some bubble-making solution, and blow away.
    or, if you wanna get seriously hardcore…. chew up a wad of bubblegum, stick it on your sphincter, and blow. if you could make a fart bubble like that, i’d be totally impressed.

  9. djmofo

    premarin cream?
    why the hell would he give you premarin? it’s for menopause.
    if you are having nasty side effects from permarin, ask for cenestin—made of natural soy. less side effects (and yes it’s a prescription not an herbal supplement).
    it would make sense to give you a small dose of a testosterone cream if it has to do with getting your groove on.

  10. Lisa in BC

    Premarin cream is a good way to treat ‘feminine dryness’ as I discovered through my physician.
    It’s not just for menopause. It helps to balance hormones that tend to be out of control during the post-partum and nursing phases in a woman’s life.
    Until I started using it even the thought of sex was painful.

  11. Dawn

    ok…so I know what your problem is….and it hasn’t been listed here yet and it IS a big deal.
    So if ya wanna talk about it….give me a holler in e-mail and I can tell ya wassup!!! :o)
    DAMN that girl is a cutiepatutie..and I’m talking about Gabriella here!!

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