A Love Story (And a Chance to Win a $100 Visa Gift Card.)

I got married when I was nineteen years old. Needless to say, I did not have a chance to experience The World of Dating. I mostly feel grateful I didn’t have to experience bad or weird or scary dates to find the man of my dreams. However, my lack of experience in the World of Dating makes me very curious about the dating lives of other people. I love hearing stories of how people met, about their first dates, or about all of the bad dates they had to go on to find The One. My sister-in-law recently met the man of her dreams and married him in November of 2010.

Let me tell you about these two.

They are in love. Head over heels in love. They connect in every way-physically, spiritually, emotionally. A year later, they are still going strong. How did they meet?

On eHarmony.

As part of this program, I sat down to talk to her about her experience. Here is what she had to say.

Me: Was there a reason you chose eHarmony over the other dating websites out there?

Her: Yes, absolutely. The other sites had reputations for being “meat markets.” On one of the sites, it was possible for anyone to view your profile and see your photo. Most people base whether they want to date you or not based on your photo. That’s not the case with eHarmony. I had to fill out a very intensive survey that took me a long time to fill out. They really try to get to know your personality. Then, the only people who are allowed to see your profile are those who eHarmony matches you with, based on your personality.

Me: How many dates did you go on before you met Steve?

Her: Six. Most of those dates were meeting for coffee. I didn’t want to get stuck in an uncomfortable situation because I didn’t click with the person. Honestly? I clicked with every person I went on a date with. I had something in common with every one of them. We had great conversations. The only problem was that there wasn’t a romantic connection. I remember thinking to myself “even if I don’t end up dating this person, I could see myself being friends with them!”

Me: When you met Steve, when did you know he was the one?

Her: I knew right away, and so did he. We waited a year and a half to get married, but we only waited that long because we thought it was the responsible thing to do. We both knew in our hearts we were meant to be together.

For a chance to win a $100 gift card, courtesy of eHarmony and BlogHer, answer the following question in comments:What is the most important character trait your partner must have and why? Can’t wait to read your responses!


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, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.

This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected. The Official Rules are available here.
This sweepstakes runs from 2/14/2012 – 3/15/2012.
Visit the BlogHer.com eHarmony page to check out more blogger success stories and for more chances to win!

122 thoughts on “A Love Story (And a Chance to Win a $100 Visa Gift Card.)

  1. Sarah

    The most important thing in my relationship with my husband (the thing that has kept us together through all the worse, sicker, poorer parts of our vows) is how he makes me laugh. We have been through so much stuff that would have made most people give up and decide to bail on their marriage. I am so thankful for my husband!

  2. Kim

    The most important thing to me about my husband is the way I can completely be me when I’m with him. There’s no pretense, I don’t have to always be happy or upbeat. If I’m in a crappy mood he doesn’t try to fix it or get mad about it. He just lets me be me.

  3. Jessica

    my husband’s hotness, humor, work ethic, conviction he can be a better man than his father but still loves his father, commitment to family, the art he creates, willingness to let me lead on the things I value the most, lawn maintenance, garbage and recycle duty, helped me make beautiful babies. But most important thing: he is kind.

  4. Karen

    I met my husband on Eharmony too!
    The most important quality to me is that he is just a good man. He always does the right thing, even when it’s hard and I admired that from the very beginning.

  5. Nanette

    Sense of humor is going to be a popular answer — and mine, too — but it’s just so true. Being able to laugh together gets couples through tough situations and helps you see the light when it’s dark.

  6. Tina

    I am really struggling to pick the MOST IMPORTANT trait. I love how my husband and I can just laugh together–be it cheesy or funny or silly! And I love how he’ll not mind when I get mad, blow up and then get over it in a matter of moments–and that he doesn’t do that (nor does he carry a grudge)! 🙂

  7. randi

    I feel like the reason my husband and I have a solid marriage is because he and I are truly playing on the same team. We don’t hold grudges and we accept each other for who we are rather than try to make each other into who we want us to be. Acceptance, forgiveness and a mutual goal to keep our family strong and happy is why I love my hubby.

  8. Denise L

    I’m not sure if this qualifies as a character trait, but I would say a good heart. Someone who can empathize with other people. My husband is a total softy and I love that about him. He is NOT afraid to cry 🙂

  9. Carrisa

    A sense of humor. I think it’s very important for us to both be able to laugh at life and ourselves. I think this has helped our relationship in a major way. No one makes me laugh like he does and I believe that laughter really is the best medicine.

  10. Leigh

    I always knew I wanted a husband with a sense of humor, but I didn’t realize how important it would be until much later. Life hands you so many lemons, it’s essential to have a partner who laugh with you when the only other option is to cry.

  11. Susan

    Genuine kindness. I can’t imagine being married to someone with cruel or mean tendencies, and unfortunately, I’ve seen it happen quite a lot. And the small things count, like when we’re on a road trip and I need to “go.” He stops without complaint, every time.

  12. meekasmommy

    Hmmmm… the most important thing is intangible; that feeling that my husband was FAMILY – someone I could be myself with, the good and the bad. Someone I could fart in front of, and be comfortable with it (not something I do with regularity, but when it can’t be helped… 😉

  13. velocibadgergirl

    I think the most important trait for me is kindness. He doesn’t have to be nice 24/7 or always agree with me, but if he wasn’t deep-down a kind, decent person it wouldn’t work.

  14. Lyndsey

    The most important character trait to me is honesty. Not just in the “not lying” kind of way, but honesty in living. Being who you are, not playing games, not putting on a show for people. Fake people exhaust me. I love that my husband was just a really genuine person when we met.

  15. Amy Girl

    He must make me laugh – mostly at myself – each and everyday! . . . and he does. I am blessed to have found him the old fashioned way pre-internet. Sheesh! I’m getting old.

  16. Kate

    My husband has character – old-fashioned description for the most important thing to me. To me, it encompasses honesty, kindness, faithfulness… all the good stuff.

  17. Katie

    Definitely a good, strong, kind heart. My guy and I were married in November, but we’ve been together for 10 years this week. Still, I never REALLY knew how lucky I was until my father passed away suddenly last year. Everything he said and did during that time was focused on how he could help me, my mom and my sister navigate the most difficult situation we had ever faced as a family. He really stepped up to the plate, and he did it purely out of love and unselfishness.

  18. Alicia CP

    Kindness. To his mother. To the server at the restaurant. To the old man looking lost on the street. To me. If he is kind to others, he’s not selfish. This is a must!

  19. Michelle

    My spouse’s most important character trait is his sense of integrity. But it’s hard to pick just one, because he is so much more. Sense of humor and honesty also rank really high, I think.

  20. Jessica

    He makes me laugh, even though we share little in common interests. But it’s also wonderful that we can find new things to be interested in. 🙂

  21. Rebecca

    I love how my husband can make me laugh, even when I’ve had a horrible day and even when it’s at my own expense. We’ve been together for 12 (!) years and he is still the funniest person I know.

  22. Kristen

    My husband’s most important character trait is his sense of humor. He’s a wet-your-pants kind of funny. This comes in handy when we argue- most of them eventually end with a joke.

  23. Katie S.

    That he wants to make me happy. I have the sweetest, most thoughtful boyfriend, and even though he might tease me about things he is never hurtful and always willing to forgive me when I am. Yin to my yang!

  24. jadine

    Honesty. I am currently getting divorced after learning of my soon-to-be ex’s lies. It’s still hard to believe I was duped so thoroughly. Last year, I would’ve listed: sense of humor, intelligence, nice forearms, kindness, good oral hygiene, etc. Now? HONESTY. (bitter much?)

  25. Amanda Sakovitz

    compassion bc it shows if the person is caring and understanding. i can’t see a relationship working without this.

  26. Kristy

    I am looking for a partner who is self-reliant. I adore taking care of the person I love, but I can’t be his whole world. There is nothing sexier to me than a man who is confident and able to find his own socks.

  27. DiaryofWhy

    Only one trait?? Hmm, honesty. Because I’ve been burned before.
    And wow, I can’t believe eHarmony worked for them! I tried it once and then said, never again. I always had better luck with any of the other sites. But maybe that’s just my meat market mentality. 🙂

  28. Samantha Jo Campen

    Bryan and I have an understanding: only one person can freak out at a time (yes it’s usually me). Then the other person is rational and level-headed. So I would say the ability to balance me out 🙂

  29. Julie

    Integrity! You spouse must have integrity. He must live the life privately that he proclaims in public. He cannot say one thing and do another. His actions must match his words and he must be trustworthy. If your spouse has high integrity, then everything else will be in place.

  30. Stefanie

    Trust. Trust is the foundation that love is built on. Trust allows you to fully let go and be yourself, flaws and all, without fear of judgment. Trust means you never have to worry when you’re apart should others try to entice/seduce your partner. Trust is a knowing that someone has your back and you have theirs. Trust is being able to talk openly about anything.

  31. amy @ uTryIt

    The most important character trait my partner must have is honesty. That is because I believe all relationships build on trust. I don’t think I can trust someone that’s not honest.
    Amy [at] utry [dot] it

  32. Susan Smith

    The most important character trait I look for in a partner is honesty other wise I would feel like I couldn’t trust him.

  33. Christine

    the ability to tolerate My Crazy 🙁 haven’t found that yet.
    btw eharmony rejected me! said they couldn’t find any matches in CA so I expanded it to the whole USA and they still rejected me based on not finding any matches 🙁

  34. Judy

    My husband and I were high school sweethearts and the most important trait to me is our friendship. He’s my best friend. I think that if you don’t have some sort of friendship in the relationship… it’ll just burn out.

  35. eko

    I fell in love with my husband’s compassionate care and just his natural grace. He will bend over backwards to help – but never advertise it. AND he’s all man – and a wonderful father to our boys.
    What a beautiful love story~ blessings to them!!

  36. alie

    The most important thing to me is having someone that loves me unconditionally, not despite my faults, but because my faults are part of who I am. I found that in my husband.

  37. Shelley M

    TRUST!!! I believe love can come after trust, and if you can truly trust someone you CAN learn to love them, if you already don’t. But even love without trust is horrible… I cannot stand insecurity and worrying. Nothing says satisfaction like security in knowing you would NEVER be lied to.

  38. cw

    The most important trait is integrity. If a man is not his word than the trust is lacking which is a foundation in a relationship

  39. Heather

    What is the most important character trait your partner must have and why?
    The most important thing is the ability to make me laugh. First of all, life has it’s up and downs, and even the best relationships hit tough times. You need someone who doesn’t take it all so seriously, and can stay positive no matter what. Plus, wit is a sure sign of intelligence, and I do love a smart witty guy. Looks fade, fortunes come and go, but a good sense of humor is forever and is an absolute must for me.

  40. Melissa

    The most important trait that my partner must have is sense humor. No matter what my now fiancee and I go through I know that we can always find humor in the situation. We often joke that if we ever argue we’ll just “hug it out”. We actually have “hugged it out” and something about that gesture does seem to make everything better. To me he is the funniest guy in the world. It also doesn’t hurt that he is Scottish and has an extremely sexy Scottish accent. I’ve found my prince charming.
    I also used Eharmony prior to meeting my fiancee and really enjoyed the entire process. I met so many great guys and learned so much about myself and what I was looking for in a relationship. I would not have done it any differently. You definitely have to be open to the process and being vulnerable.

  41. Janice Cooper

    The most important trait for me is having a belief in God. He must have a spiritual nature and put God first. Another important trait is trust, honesty and a sense of humor. I love to laugh!

  42. Jenny

    He just has to be kind. Odds are if you excel in kindness you are probably have a slew of other awesome qualities too.

  43. Aubrey

    Trustworthy b/c without trust you can’t have a solid marriage/relationship.
    family74014 at gmail dot com


    Appreciation. I like people to focus on the good aspects of a relationship verses the bad, especially when it comes to who I’m dating. I want my man to appreciate me & what I do for him!

  45. Jessie C.

    The most important character trait my partner must have is sense of humor. To be able to always look the bright side when things go unplanned/wrong.
    tcarolinep at gmail dot com

  46. Jessica F

    For me, the most important character trait my partner must have is loyalty. This doesn’t just mean not straying, but also defending me, treating me well, and believing in me and our relationship.
    jfong1130 at yahoo dot com

  47. Kelly D

    My husband must be loyal to family because that is the basis for a good relationship- knowing they will stick around.

  48. Erica Best

    I think the most important character trait is caring and understand. I have dated alot of guys in the past who never show that to me.
    purple_lover_04 at msn dot com

  49. claudia davis

    I think the most important trait is a sense of humor. You cannot imagine how many bad, sad and uncomfortable situations can be turned around with laughter.

  50. agirlandaboy

    Reason. I can’t abide drama, so having a cool, calm, thinking person as my partner means there’s not a lot of fighting or passive-aggression or any of that other stuff that makes me CRAAAAAZY.

  51. sy

    The most important to me is honesty, I think trust is the most important in a relationship.
    songyueyu at gmail

  52. Christina Tong

    The most important character trait my partner must have is honesty, because I cannot trust anyone who is not honest especially who is your partner.

  53. Michelle

    My dream man must have a kind heart. That just about covers everything else – if he has a kind heart, he will love family, be respectful and loving.

  54. Laura Jacobson

    The most important to me is honesty. If I cannot trust someone completely with my heart, would be hard for a relationship to work for me.

  55. Ashley Hatten

    My partner must have compassion because when things are not so good I know I can always count on him to tell me everything is going to be okay. thanks!

  56. Kathryn C.

    The most important trait, for me, in my partner is honesty. I believe that it is an integral part of any relationship and keeps the relationship healthy.
    katbirdfl (at) gmail (dot) com

  57. Dahbou

    I think the most important trait is kindness. It’s sometimes difficult to have empathy but it would make the world a much better place if we all strove to be kinder and more empathetic.

  58. Debra F

    In my opinion, the most important thing to look for in someone you want to spend the rest of your life with is trust because that is the backbone of any relationship. Without having complete trust in your partner, it is very hard for the relationship to weather the bumps that inevitably come.

  59. nanjhall

    For me, honesty is the most important because without it you lose trust. Humor is next since it helps through the hard times.

  60. Jill L

    Honesty is so important to me. I find that if a person is capable of telling even one lie, they are more than capable of telling many more.

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