The water colored ponies will one day ride away

I spend a good part of my day kissing, hugging and squeezing my daughter. She’s not always happy about it, but it doesn’t stop me from smothering her.
Sometimes, when she sleeps, I’ll sneak in the room and stare at her. And I’ll think how I can’t wait til she wakes up so I can kiss, hug and squeeze her again.
I loved my boys like that, I kissed them all of the time, I cuddled them and I enjoyed every minute with them when they were little, but I truly had no idea just how quickly the years would pass, how soon they’d be “grown” and no longer my little baby boys.

I remember the day that picture was taken. It’s permenantly inscribed in my memory. That’s my first baby, Andrew. It was a warm day and we were just relaxing outside of our condo. Tony grabbed the camera and snapped away. My God, I love that boy and I can’t remember being happier than I was that very moment, right there, with my beautiful son. I was only 23 years old. Some would say too young to be a mother, but that was all I ever wanted.
To have children. To be a good mom to those children.
That smile on my face? That was real, pure happiness, because that little boy was everything I had ever wanted. And I was doing what I believed I was meant to do, the only thing that I believe I am truly good at.
Being a mother.
I had no idea at that moment, when I was kneeling next to the child I loved so much, the little person who brought so much joy into my life, that I’d blink my eyes and he’d be a 12 year old young man.
I knew he’d not be little forever, I knew one day he’d be an akward, witty, pubescent, zitty nosed, but totally perfect preteen young man, but I honestly had absolutely NO IDEA it would happen so damn fast. So fast, that it hurts.

Now, I have been blessed with another baby, an unexpected daughter. I am painfully aware of how quickly she will grow, how the days will turn into months, then into years. How one day, she’ll not want to me hold her close and kiss her all over because she’ll have friends to play with or games to play or skates to lace up and glide around the neighborhood in.
I know that day is just around the corner, so for now, I will kiss that girl, I will cuddle that girl, I will squeeze her and nibble on her sweet little cheeks every damn chance I get and I will be careful to remember how sweet she smells, how soft she feels and how very, very precious she is at every moment of every day that I am blessed to hold her in my arms.

38 thoughts on “The water colored ponies will one day ride away

  1. Tammy/averagemom

    Awwww! That little boy looks so much like his Daddy! Your kids are just so photogenic.
    That feeling? Where you know they are growing, and you can’t stop them? That’s why I have 2 kids, instead of the planned “just one”. That feeling is also why Hubby wisely decided to get the snip, so I could sigh, and wish all I wanted without getting all knocked up.

  2. joy madison

    that’s the funny thing to me…is that that picture of Andrew and you is exactly how you are to me. Seeing him now is so weird…..I feel like he should still be 5 years old!!! I cannot believe he is 12.
    I think it is completely a mothers instinct to go back to that day and feel it like it was just yesterday. I do that with Jaylie’s baby pictures all the time. I just can’t believe she’s 6 now!!!!

  3. reese

    check out the song “Ribbons Undone” by Tori Amos. If you want, I will upload the mp3 for you. Just send an email. It’s about her little girl 🙂

  4. hed

    Wow. Mine is playing with legos and does not want to be disturbed. And I’m just… sobbing. That was beautiful. You should be dubbed “cheesemonger” of the cyberworld. And that’s a good thing. A very good thing.

  5. girlplease

    while we never met, the way you talk about your children and the photos show me that you have got to be the best mom out there. and i would give anything to have that sense of family that you have.

  6. Ruth

    Dear Yvonnne:
    I am now a delurker! Yea! I have been reading your blog for over a year now and I have always wanted to comment but just haven’t the nerve. Your last post just really hit home. I too have a 12 year old and I know how you feel. The holding of his little hand and the giving of kisses is not allowed in public anymore. At least he gives me a kiss before he leaves for school every morning and says “I Love you Mommy”. I dread the day he just says “I Love you MOM” then I will know for sure my little boy has grown up. I just wanted say that I love your blog and the way you write about your happiness with your family and your downfalls (even though I think you are a beautiful person and you shouldn’t think that way about yourself!). Your are truly lucky to have three beautiful children. Your sons are so handsome and Gabriella is just too precious! Just wanted to comment finally!

  7. Twisted Cinderella

    I love this. I can so totally relate. I think that being a mom was what I was put here to do. I love her so much sometimes I am overwhelmed by it. I can’t beleive that she is mine to love forever. And it scares me how fast she is growing. She is 3 1/2 going on 13 and it is going way to fast.

  8. Heatheranne

    I know. My only baby is twelve. I see people every day at work with little babies and I miss that so much! I miss his sweet little kisses and toothless smiles. Now I have to sing a Britney Spears song just to get a hug out of him. (He hugs me so I’ll shut up.)

  9. zee

    Wow… what a beautiful smile! Make sure you put that picture where you see it every day!
    You are beautiful, and blessed. And I’m blessed that I can come here and share in these beautiful and moving memories with you. Thanks!

  10. Kelly

    What an amazing entry, pictures, and family! You have me crying now. Time does go by way too fast. Wow. What a beautiful entry. I love the cheese!

  11. Yolanda

    Now I’m all teary eyed and want to go wake up my baby so I can kiss on him some more. Beautiful post by a beautiful Mama. Thanks for sharing it 🙂 (I’m delurking too)

  12. Michelle

    Hi. I was on a search for the lyrics to the song “Water Colored Ponies” and ended up here. Wow! I know exactly what you mean. I have an eight year old son, a four year old son, and an eight month old daughter. They are the breath I breathe! As I watch my sons hold their baby sister, such precious memories come flooding back. I spent every moment of every day with my first just in awe! I had prayed so long for him. I thought I was finished after my second son, but God chose to bless me with my daughter, and she is truly a gift to all of us. I just was so moved by your post, that I wanted to share a little of my story…that you would know there are others, like yourself, who hold every moment dear to their heart, while secretly mourning those early moments when you, as their mommy, were their entire world. Your children,as much as they are a blessing toyou, are truly blessed to have a mom who loves them so much!

  13. christie

    Does anyone know who sings the song “Water Colored Ponies”. We had that in my sister’s wedding for when the parents walked up and we would like to use it for my friend’s but can’t remember.

  14. Kang

    What precious pictures ! They put smile on my face. I see you are a happy mother all the time. Congratulations to you all.

  15. renee'

    don’t have a blog, was searching for the lyrics to an old-time song and was blessed to see young-time folks are into it, too! You write my same feelings, as a young and now an older mom. I have 6 children, ages 30 down to 22. My 24 year old is in Africa on mission trips to Rwanda, Uganda, DRC, etc. Haven’t heard from him in a week and feeling low. But I know he’s in God’s hands and all will come to rights. My kids love to take pictures in front of the refrigerator – it has some “old” pictures on it (of them!) Now my grandbabies are crowding the doors! You take care, Michelle, love your babies, never miss the chance to hug & kiss and whisper you love them. and trust them to God.

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  17. James

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  18. Iris

    he becomes too, from that moment, a bankrupt. Though the drawer, acceptor, which comes from twenty miles distance. But the price of the latter must,

  19. Iris

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