Because That Pretty Much Sums Up The Suckage of My Life This Week. (But If I Had a Picture of Almost Hitting my 80 Year Old Neighbor With My Van, I Would Have Totally Went With That One Instead.)

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This past week has been rough.
I’ve written several posts only to delete them immediately because honestly? I don’t know how many more times I can write about my deteriorating health before people stop reading this blog.
But, this is supposed to be about my life, right? And right now, my life is consumed with health problems, right? So, what’s a bloggah to do?
My frustration with my health and my inability to talk about anything other than it is at an all time high. Just when I think I’ve taken charge of things (diet coke, be gone!) and that I can resume to live my life as normal,I find myself in urgent care, having an EKG and being told that I there are “irregularities” with my heart that are fairly common, but “problematic” because of my low thyroid. Suddenly, I realize that ultimately, I have limited control over my body and sometimes, doing everything that I can still isn’t enough.
It’s depressing.
But not nearly depressing as I’m sure it is for you to read this crap all of the time. I want you to just go ahead and try to imagine how much fun it is to be my husband. You can’t even imagine, can you?
I do have a bit of non-health related news to share with you before I put you all out of your misery. In addition to giving up diet coke and every day trips to Starbucks, I am thinking it’s time to give up The Cussing. You see, I thought I was doing a really good job at NOT cussing in front of my children. I have a pretty foul mouth, especially when I’m driving, but I tried to tone it down when my two year old daughter started shouting “GO FASTER, DUMBASS” at passing cars. I stopped saying dumbass and replaced it with “you jerk!” However, it was brought to my attention that I’ve not cleaned up the language as much as I thought when I heard the following words come out of my daughter’s mouth a couple of nights ago.
“I’m going to kick you in the ASShole, Brother.”
I immediately knew that she had learned it from me because she put an extra emphasis on “ASS”, just the way that I do.
You don’t need to tell me how awful it is that my THREE YEAR OLD says Asshole, I already know. I actually felt really dirty when I heard her say it. I honestly thought I wasn’t saying it when she could hear me, but, you know, I was wrong. I’ve vowed to clean up my mouth and stop saying asshole.
Let’s just hope that no one cuts me off in traffic and then turn around and give ME The Finger, because if that happens (again!) I’m pretty sure that a big old ASSHOLE will slip right out of my mouth. Man, I have a feeling giving up that word is going to be harder than giving up a lifelong addiction to The Diet Coke

100 thoughts on “Because That Pretty Much Sums Up The Suckage of My Life This Week. (But If I Had a Picture of Almost Hitting my 80 Year Old Neighbor With My Van, I Would Have Totally Went With That One Instead.)

  1. CW

    A good way to stop cussing is to pay your kids a determined amount of money each time you cuss. They will point it out EVERY time.
    Good luck with your health issues.

  2. heidi

    As someone who has just started facing some possible major health issues or maybe I’m just fine thank you very much, I never mind reading of your struggles. I know how it gets tiresome to write it without feeling like your complaining yet again but I say, your blog, your life, write away.
    And that photo, took me a minute to figure out what the hell happened. Disaster struck! That just sucks.
    Can’t help with the cussing. I’ve been pretty lucky with that except I can’t get my kids to stop saying everything sucks. No matter how much I try to convince them it’s a cuss word, they insist it’s not.
    I really hope you are feeling better soon. My thoughts are with you. And if you do want to get it off your chest but not blog it, you can always e-mail me. (Promise I’m not a stalker – no really, I just read you through my feeder whenever you post. Does that make me a stalker?)

  3. Amy M.

    I’m sorry you’ve had a rough week. I’m sitting here with the flu if it makes you feel any better. No? Okay, I tried. I know that you are really frustrated with life in general right now and I do hope that you can find the right medical help that will give you your life back. And giving up cussing? Whew. I think that’s maybe why I haven’t had kids?

  4. Brandi

    You are perfectly entitled to blog about your health problems all you want. This is your place to vent after all. I hope your health problems get resolved soon.
    I have to share a cussing story. We went to Hawaii back in August when our daughter was just a little over 2.5 years old. On the last day, we had a ton of time to kill before our flight since we were on a redeye home, so we rented a car and drive around the island. My kid got so frustrated and pissy in the car that out of the blue, she started saying “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck….” for a good 5 minutes straight!

  5. Vicky

    Your heart irregularities could be cause by you giving up the Diet Coke. That’s a lot of caffeine to be giving up cold turkey, plus the Starbucks! That’s what happened to my Mom.
    Hope you feel better soon.

  6. heather

    first of all my thoughts are with you with all your health worries and secondly i also have a cussing story for you
    driving home one day stuck in traffic my 3 year old piped up from the back “move it you fucking asses” yes those words i realized come out of my mouth way too much while driving.

  7. Rachael

    I let the bad words slide at my house. I have found if I ignore it, they stop using them. Unless it’s the F word. Then she will use it all over the place. That word, I have kindly explained to her that it’s a grown up word.
    Only now, she’s designated words and saying as “kid’s words” and I can’t say them. So I’m no longer allowed to say “Holy Guacamole!” Oh well.
    I’m sorry to hear you’re having more health issues. I’m hoping the irregularities are easily explained and fixed. Hopefully, it’s like others have said, a result of a diet change with taking out caffeine.
    Feel better soon.

  8. shuey6

    I’m all good with you complaining — because I can tell it’s a really rough time for you. It’s your blog, and we all love reading everything you write, and we’ve all felt it ourselves at one point or another.
    If you find a way to stop swearing, lett me know, because I am a f-ing helpless case in that regard.

  9. Katie

    I think you should keep posting about the health issues. And do you know how many glass dishes I’ve broken in the oven? At least three, if I haven’t lost count. Twice it was because I was an idiot (added cold sauce/water to the hot dish), but once it was totally innocent (I took some baked squash out of the oven, and as I lifted the dish, the juices dripped out of the squash and on to the dish). I’m now forced to cook in 2-3 loaf pans or in a metal cake pan because all my big glass dishes have shattered. I am afraid of glass in the oven now.

  10. norm

    I don’t think you’ll get anything but support and affection from this crowd πŸ˜‰ Carry on! But don’t feel pressured, please.
    Do tell the story of the picture, though. Is that what it look like (pyrex baking dish exploded under some yummy chicken bits)? Boy that’d wreck *my* whole evening.

  11. Brian

    I say post away onthe health issues. It might help you unload a wee tiny bit, and it might help someone else – to see what you’re going through. Maybe they’re experiencing something similar and you sharing your story could help!
    Best way to stop cussin? Stop driving. I know. Fucking impossible. Oops.

  12. JenniferB

    Don’t stop posting! You are the one who needs this space to be for what YOU WANT it to be. If we need something else we’ll read your blog, then read something else too. No biggie.
    I have broken so many “non-breakable” dishes lately that I think I’m about to revert to plastic. I hate plastic, but still.
    I hope your weekend is happier!

  13. gwendomama

    i have no issue with you talking about your thyroid, if you have no issue with me talking about my dead kid. comeON it’s a blog.
    it is YOURS, Y.
    and i feel your pain. my two year old has a speech delay and i think that is what they call A BLESSING. my 6 yr old calls bad words ‘driving words’ and knows she is not allowed to say them until she is old enough to drive (obviously).

  14. Meg

    Keep blogging! I get grumpy when I don’t get Y in my feed reader. When I rule the universe, you’ll be blogging every single day, and half of those posts will be pictures of Gabby doing something cute. (er… I meant that in a non internet stalker-ish way)

  15. anne nahm

    Ok, you just gotta know most of us love just hearing from you. So let go of the idea that you must always be our Funny Post Monkey and we all scream “dance, you fucking Post Monkey, dance!” when you stop to take a breath and vent about real life.
    Bad health stuff is overwhelming when it is happening to you. But hearing about it is not overwhelming. At least for me. So far.
    Of course, when you don’t post, I do sometimes scream, “Post, damnit!” at your rss feed. But I never call you a post monkey while doing so.

  16. Sadie

    Wow you should really be proud that your raising your kids to talk like that! I told you, God is knocking at your door. When are you going to give him a chance again?

  17. Erin

    It’s your blog honey and what good is it if you can’t say what is on your mind? Believe it or not most people probably like knowing they can send “happy thoughts” your way when you’re down. Not to mention it lets us all send you tons of ASSvice. Good luck on not swearing. That’s one area where I will probably remain a hypocrite with my kids. we all need one vice, right?

  18. Susan

    Several thoughts:
    a) that photograph is evidence that you shouldn’t be cooking but ordering in
    b) this is your blog and you can write about whatever the hell you want whenever the hell you want
    c) are you seeing an actual endocrinologist rather than just a gp? Absolutely nothing against general practitioners, BUT specialties exist for a reason. Medicine/research has become so evolved and complex it really does behoove you, (yes, I used that word), to find someone who specializes in endocrine issues.
    d) I love your blog and wish I could hug you all the way from Arkansas. Hang in there.

  19. margalit

    I know you don’t answer your email, so my feelings aren’t hurt or anything, but I did try to email you about heart issues. I’m the expert on all this stuff. I’m bionic. I have an internal defibrillator! I know what it means to have your body be out of control with a chronic illness. I’ve been there for years now, and it totally sucks.
    You blog as much as you want about how you’re doing. It’s YOUR blog, and you get to complain ad nauseum if you want to. We love you no matter what.
    As for swearing? I gave up. I have a total potty mouth and so do my kids. Oh well, we’re obviously one step up from trailer trash. Like I care!

  20. Y

    It’s not that I don’t answer my email… I try to. I’m just pretty shitty about it.
    Honestly? I don’t remember an email about heart issues. Did you send it to my email address? Or was it in a comment? (And not to make excuses, but I swear to God, Gmail has been sending buttloads of my emails to spam.)
    I’d LOVE to hear what you said in that email… Um, email me? (I was an asshole to ask to you to email me again when I apparently ignored your first one, yes? FORGIVE ME?)

  21. CA

    I love you and I will always read you, no matter what your entries are about. Write about your heath. You need the outlet, and that’s what blogging is for. Plus, just like you help people by posting about your struggles with weight, many of us can also relate to you on this. Many, many, many women are hypothyroid (including me) and raising awareness is always a good thing. We’re not alone!
    I pray for you all the time that you will feel better soon.
    Hang in there,
    Reader CA

  22. GOD

    *see comment up a few*
    Dear Sadie,
    I appreciate you given me my mad props and all but girl, you ain’t representin’. The only thing I wanna knock on right here is the upside of yo head.
    Don’t make me come down there and kick you in the ASShole.
    Your Lord and Savior
    P.S. Shout out to Y!!

  23. Y

    I find it funny (not) that the one person who loves to come her to tell me that God is speaking to me is the one who leaves the nastiest, most hateful comments that I’ve ever got on this blog.
    I don’t know how she thinks she knows what my relationship with God is, as it’s PERSONAL AND ALL. But, I do think there’s a very sad reason that she’s so quick to comment whenever I write about my daughter and I will pray for her.

  24. Colby

    I think most of us use the blog to vent (ahem, i know myself more than necessary) and if it helps you then that’s what matters – I really enjoy your blog
    I actually “lost” my first tooth because I swore – no joke! My parents were having a dinner party and after my bath, my wet towel somehow was on my bed so I picked it up strutted into the kitchen and said “Who the FUCK left this on my bed” While trying to keep a straight face, my mother washed my mouth out with soap (like that does anything to deter swearing) and my loose tooth popped out!
    Take care,

  25. Jenn

    I have a 4 year old that can use bitch properly. How I found out you ask? He told me and I quote “Mom, you’re a bitch” in the pediatrician’s waiting room when it was FULL of people. Yeah that rocked…..
    I will never be able to stop swearing, it’s ingrained in me. I ignore the kids when they do it, and told them if they want to swear they can do it at home, but anywhere outside of the house is off limits. I dont think I’m going to up for Mother of the Year.

  26. Stacy

    You can’t stop blogging now…I just found this place! From reading your other posts I can tell that you are NOT a complainer, but a person who loves life.
    Also, a true complainer wouldn’t think twice about sounding like a complainer. They wouldn’t care. Get me?
    When you have a crappy week you just have to get it out. Besides, holding those things in is even worse for your health, so vent away! πŸ™‚

  27. angela

    i don’t think you should give up too many things at one time. you’ll go crazy and do all of them at the same time… you’ve gotta have something to get you through!

  28. Christina

    I’m concerned about how you are coping with all of this. I know that your condition can cause depression and I’m wondering what you are doing to avoid that (or if you feel it happening again to you?) I can’t imagine what you are going through, but I would feel so weighed down that looking for help would seem like a chore. What steps are you taking to care for yourself on a daily/weekly basis (besides cutting the diet coke and Starbucks)? How are you eating? How is your overall emotional state? Has difficulties from this interfered with your day to day life too much? Are you making sure to have fun in the midst of all this? I hope the questions don’t bother you; I just want you to have a solid plan to deal with these hardships. I would need pushing and help if I were you. You have a great family and support network so make it work for you. I have no doubt that you can change things to make them better.

  29. jeanie

    Well, I don’t have a health problem and I whinge on my blog all the time.
    I think you should because (a) its what is going on for you at the moment and this is your vent, and (b) imagine how it is for people who have your problem, found you through Google, want the real deal on how it is and you are trying to be all happiness and sunshine when they are feeling like you are. Oh, and (c) you will be the first advised by your readers when they have read of the medical breakthrough that will CHANGE YOUR LIFE – either that, or the spam.
    My daughter is the language Police – she even berates the radio for “ass”!

  30. Redneck Mommy

    It’s a terrible feeling to know that we can’t command our bodies to behave how we want them to, isn’t it?
    Hon, don’t you worry one damn bit about what you write on this blog. We read it because we choose to, because we lurve you.
    Well, except maybe Sadie. She sounds like she’s too busy loving herself.
    I’ve got a trucker mouth that can make most grown men blush. I have to work VERY hard at controlling it. Because having your son going around calling everyone a Peckerhead is not something I’m terribly proud of.
    Hugs to you,

  31. DeannaBanana

    Im just really glad someone pointed out that it was a pyrex dish that had exploded…here I was trying to figure out why the hell you had tinfoil all over the place or something. Odd. My brain just couldn’t compute that picture. Have they put you on beta blockers for your heart yet? Dammit, woman, Im telling you; same symptoms yet again. And I tried calling and couldnt get through, so whassup with that I wonder..

  32. Carrie

    i’m not sure how i stumbled upon your blog anymore but i just wanted to let you know i’ve been to hell and back with the Hashimotos. I haven’t read everything..but get yourself a good internist who will get you to a TSH close to 1.
    after i had my first daughter i went downhill fast. when i finally got tested my heartrate was 42 bpm. yeh…i was barely functioning. it took a long time to get results and then my endo left. my family doc got my tests and said i was okay. but i never felt okay. then i got pg…immediately found another doc and told her to get me to 1. she upped my meds and finally i got better. i felt better pg than i had in a long time. now i am starting to feel shitty again so i asked for another retest and told them i demand to be close to one as was recommended by the endo i saw while i was pregnant.
    many people don’t get it. i was healthy my whole time…when i got the hashi’s my world just feel apart.
    sending you big hugs as you wait out the meds. i know it seems like forever.

  33. Meegan

    I’m working on the cussing thing myself. It’s fucking hard! Today, as I was feeling the anti-lock brakes kick in as I slid toward the stopped car in front of me I exclaimed, “SHIT!”. My 18 month old, who was in the back seat, has been saying “SHIT!” all day. Not “shit” but “SHIT!”. LOUDLY! LIKE SHE MEANS IT! Fuck, man. I’m pregnant and I can’t drink, eat sushi…swearing is all I have left!

  34. Amanda

    I have never commented, I dont think, but I really enjoy reading your blog. I would like to share with you my issues with my thyroid. I am not cured, but I am doing much better thanks to same drastic, natural changes to my life, diet and habits. I can totally feel your pain, I am there. After years of struggle, I am finally on the road to doing better. What doctors wont tell you, and believe me on this, it goes way beyond just the thyroid pill. It is important and crucial, but I want to pass on what I have done so that hopefully can heal and be healthy. Take care

  35. Tracey

    Blog away, girlfriend! That’s what we are here for…to read about what you are experiencing right now!
    Oh, and substituting “jerk” for the a@@hole word worked well for me. Good luck!

  36. Erica

    My three year old calls people who piss him off a Jackass. Just like his potty mouthed mother. Maybe your body is going through major withdrawl from lack of caffeine. Gah! Blog about whatever you need to, it’s your blog;) Hope your week gets better. Did you order a pizza after that, and swear off cooking for a week?

  37. Karen Er

    Oh the cursing. It trips me up every single time. My daughter loves to ask me, “What the hell are you doing?” Sigh…great. Or she’s going to kick her brother’s ass. Know that you’re not alone.
    And I’m sorry about your health troubles. Hey it’s your blog. Bitch all you want (whoops, there went the cursing again). πŸ™‚

  38. Jennifer

    Don’t you dare stop blogging! Its your blog and you can talk about whatever you want, obviously people care or you wouldn’t have these comments silly! I like to hear your thyroid stories because I have Hashimoto’s myself, the pic you posted with your face a little puffy? Thats me.. all the time! It makes me feel good that there are others out there that have the same problems as me and we are not alone.

  39. Stefanie

    I have to admit I love to cuss too. But try just limiting it to writing! That’s what I do. Aw who am I fucking kidding? I swear all the time. As for your health, I didn’t know about the EKG. That sucks! I hope you have medical people around you you trust. Bitch.

  40. Christine

    The other day I was talking to my teens and I said, “would you say sh…tuff.” They picked up immediately that I was about to say ‘shit’ instead. Clearly I can give you no tips on how to cut out the cussing. However, if it makes you feel better I’m on quest to see how many posts I can write about the shitty (um, I mean icky) winter weather. I’m sure my readers are just loving all the “snow sucks” posts over there.
    Feel better soon!!

  41. Maria

    I hope you kick your health issues in the ASShole. I will keep reading even if you only write about your health. I’m sending healing vibes your way.
    ASShole is better than my favorite curse word F*CK.
    What happened with your 80 year old neighbor?

  42. Hannah

    If I didn’t whine on my blog sometimes I would post a lot less. The way I see it, if people are not feeling sympathetic that day, they can just skip it. I for one would rather that you post what you think of as “negative” stuff rather than saying nothing – when you don’t post I worry. Not to add any extra pressure, or anything. πŸ˜‰
    I hear you on the cursing. My son – 2.5 – uses “fuck” like a sailor. And my husband doesn’t swear much, so I know he got it from me. However, he doesn’t hit, or throw tantrums, and eats his vegetables – so I’ve decided to pick my battles. I just ask him not to say those words outside the house. And to remind me not to say them either. We’re kicking the habit together.
    I also thought the broken glass in the picture was tinfoil. And that the oven had broken before the chicken was finished. So I’m glad other people explained.

  43. McKenzie

    Oh, feel better soon! I’m right there with you -thyroid disease and a few heart issues myself, all diagnosed after my first pregnancy in ’06, and here I am expecting #2 in a couple of months. Oy. I know how lousy you feel, but keep on writing – it’s your blog, your outlet, and we’ll understand! πŸ™‚

  44. Lurker Girl

    Y–This is your “home”, blog away on anything you want–this is why you do this.
    Now, funny little kid hearing mommy curse story: My husband was driving with my daughter in the backseat when he slammed on the breaks. DD pipes up from the backseat “What happend daddy, did that bitch cut you off?” Needless to say I got a call from hubby asking “what goes on in the car when you drive DD around?”

  45. Therese

    Y, please continue to write whatever your little heart desires. We will continue to read it.
    I didn’t get the broken dish until someone pointed it out in the comments either.
    Feel better soon!

  46. Pam

    I’m consumed with health issues as well and blogging about it does tend to make the readers run like cockroaches in the light. I’m down to 2 (that’s 2 not 20 or 200) comments since all of my issues began. I’m glad to see that your readers haven’t abandoned you!!! But Y? What is that picture of? It looks like chicken breasts in pieces of glass? Do I need glasses now on top of everything else? Please say the picture is chicken breasts in pieces of glass. Lie to me if you have to.

  47. Terri

    Please do not stop your writing. I have only been reading for a few weeks, but I totally relate to what you are going through. I also have had thyroid issues since my first child was born-he is almost 14. It is a pain in the ass, I have also felt like I have no control over feeling like crap. The hair loss sucks, the cardiac symptoms suck, not to mention the fatigue. Your blog is great and lets others know what this situation is really like, and gives support to those of us who have husbands who think we are just plain “nuts” πŸ™‚ I forgot to mention, your sense of humor is great and keeps us hooked!

  48. girlplease

    I hear ya. But the way I see it, blogging is a cheap form of therapy. Mine has turned into the infertility, how big is my ovarian cyst, breast cancer scare blog.

  49. Dee

    Y, we love you and want to know how you’re doing, plain and simple. This is your blog to do with as you please. I’ll keep reading regardless, because I’m interested in what’s going on with you, good/bad/comic/tragic/etc.
    Don’t feel bad for not updating your blog more, cause that just makes me feel guilty for not updating mine. Ha! πŸ™‚
    Hope you feel better soon…

  50. Laura

    Just another voice saying write about whatever you damn well please. I thik people come to your blog to hear about you – and right now you are thinking about a whole bunch of health issues. Better to be honest than to try to be Little Mary Sunshine all the time.
    I do hope you feel better.

  51. kindra roberts

    I totally agree with the person who left the comment about seeing an endocrinologist. I have been suffering from hypothyroidism for almost 13 years and I am only 30. I was pretty much told by the time I am 40 my thyroid will not function at all. People laugh at me when I tell them crap my meds must be off because my hair starts to fall out or my legs start to itch so bad I have hickey marks from scratching πŸ™‚ The way you feel is very real!!! I really empathize wit you! I would highly suggest seeing not only a endocrinologist but a female one. I am not trying to be sexist but in my experience I have found women are a little more sympathatic to this. I understand the depression this causes and the tiredness as well. I currently am about 60-75 pounds over weight and no matter how hard I diet and try to stay active I am lucky to lose 1/2 a pound a week. I didn’t intend for this comment to be me on my soap box, πŸ™‚ I just want you to know you are not alone and if you ever need to vent to someone who has been there and is still there feel free!!!

  52. Linda

    Please, please go ahead and tell us everything. I actually WANT to hear about your trip to the ER and keep up with how you are healthwise! I care dangit!! :O) This is YOUR blog!
    BTW, day 4 for me with NO diet coke! ACK! I’m doing it!! Thanks to you! :O) But… I haven’t given up the starbucks yet. I WILL… eventually! :o)

  53. Julia

    ahh most of us are there! my ‘cuss word’ of choice is….jackass! usually directed at my husband….it has turned from an insault to a term of enderment….my three year old also says this! we just remind that these words are bad grown up words not for children to say….its kept it at bay!!!!

  54. Dani

    I know it isn’t funny, but… It is funny that your gorgeous little 3 year old said asshole. It could be worse!
    I wish I could find this bit that Dennis Leary does. His kid gets in trouble with the nuns at school for singing the asshole song, and he describes how difficult it was to get that information from the nun because she couldn’t talk about it. It is hilarious. It isn’t on Cure for Cancer. I think it was a one off on a benefit concert. It would be perfect for this situation though.

  55. PeetsMom

    I have been trying for over a year to curb my own impulses to speak (yell!?) at other drivers while my kids are in the car…they remind me constantly that I’m “doing it again…”….So THIS week, I am inserting the phrase “BANANA PANCAKES!” when I get pissed at some stupid person who should not have a license! I wish you luck…I know I need it!
    p.s. – do take care of your bod…pighunter would miss it if it wasn’t around!!! And keep writing – it’s good for your soul!!

  56. complicatedmama/whathefck

    “I’m going to kick you in the ASShole, Brother.”
    i’m sorry but that made me laugh. loudly. especially with the emphasis on ASS. and the brother. i’m still laughing. sorry.
    i’m sure hearing that made you feel like an asshole. good luck with cleaning up your act. if that doesnt do it, what will?
    still laughing.

  57. feelyour pain

    have you been tested for hyper-parathyroidism? Your symptoms for the most part sound pretty classic.

  58. Clementine

    Okay, so it’s not really funny that your daughter is cussing..except it IS! Mine’s still too little to repeat my bad words, but I know I’m going to get schooled one day soon.
    My favorite little kid cussing story goes like this (it was a friend of a friend’s 6 y.o. son): The family is at Sesame Street On Ice when the characters on stage start asking, “Where’s Big Bird? Where’s Big Bird?” This little boy stands up on his seat and shouts out, “He’s right behind you, ya shitdick!” Classic.

  59. wintor

    Picture this: 1995, in the midst of my Liz Phair phase, i’m reading on my bed when i hear my 3 year old walking down the hall to her bedroom singing “i’m gonna get drunk and f*ck some cows”…it took me a minute to peel my jaw off the floor, but Liz Phair was quickly shelved after that.
    You just have no idea how much they absorb until something like that happens πŸ™‚

  60. dana michelle

    I am so sorry, but I am laughing myself to death at the thought of those words coming out of sweet little Gabby’s face. Seriously. Tears! Forgive me!
    I think the good Lord above predestined me to marry too late in life to consider having children, because God help the toddler listening and learning from MY sailor mouth while driving. And really, isn’t that when ALL OF US are truly at our cussing worst? Of course that’s because all of the other drivers on the road are G*@@!!! IDIOTS, but I digress.
    By the way, I consider myself to be the Queen-mother of all car cussers, at least in the Midwest. (girlplease, if you are reading this, OK, you and I are tied!)
    Good luck with getting that problem under control. I like the idea of paying the kids for every outburst. They WILL monitor you. Absolutely!
    As for your health issues, you are not boring me, and probably not any of the rest of us. So much of blogging is about people’s struggles. What makes you different is that even when you are down, you still always manage to be uproariously funny. I don’t think you fully realize what a gift you have. And I also don’t think that Tony or your kids would trade you for the anyone else in the world, because of that fabulous sense of humor and all of the love that you give to them.
    Keep writing. We’ll keep reading πŸ™‚

  61. ali

    you gave up diet coke.
    and starbucks.
    i don’t know how you are finding words other than swears in your vocabulary…i certainly wouldn’t have any πŸ˜‰

  62. Andrea

    We all keep coming back here (faithfully or stalkerish-ly?!!) for many reasons, which all revolve around YOU. You are honest, you are funny, you are real. We love you! We want to support you through this tough time and maybe sharing on here can be therapeutic for you. I would hate for it to become a burden.
    As far as the cussing, it’s possible to quit. I find myself stopping at crap or crud in front of my 7 yr old son. You can always toss a “LORD LOVE A DUCK!” out there occasionally.
    Hugs from Delaware!

  63. lizinsumner

    I think I’d rather die than give up my Starbucks. Having said that, however, couldn’t resist a comment/suggestion about kids and potty mouth while driving (the only time I use bad language!) – I replaced the usual bad words with less bad words… now, when someone cuts me off and then flips me off as though I did something wrong!! – they’re a “butt-munch”. So far, that’s the best that I’ve been able to do. Good luck!!

  64. Daisy

    Ohhh I am SO with you on the health issues (I also struggle with thyroid issues) and with the cussing thing.
    Sorry, you don’t have my support with giving up Starbucks. πŸ™‚ I must have “the ‘bucks.” But holey moley girl – your drink order contained enough calories for an entire dinner! Personally, I’m stickin’ with the non-fat vanilla latte, or a venti americano with extra cream. You may want to give those a go…
    Keep blogging and don’t get discouraged.
    Hugs from the Napa Valley!

  65. marjorie

    Please keep writing about your health issues and whatever else you want to write about. A few years ago, I had what is medically termed “an extra systolic beat”, that is, instead of going Lub Dub, my heart went Lub Lub Dub. And not just once in a while, it was constant for a few months. Like 8 times per minute. The doctor wasn’t sure what was causing it (what do these guys go to medical school for, anyway?) Don’t you think the human heart should have been near the top of the curriculum? Anyway, they finally said it was probably related to hormones, as it was worse near my period week. So that is something you might ask your doctor. I also had to wear a monitor for 24 hours, which recorded all the weird beats. When the doctor checked the results of the monitor later, all he said was, “Yeah, you weren’t kidding about this.” It eventually settled down and didn’t come back. I only get it now if I drink too much coffee.

  66. Wacky Mommy

    They told me my heart issues were because of 1) not drinking enough water 2) The Thyroid 3) Stress.
    Gabby is going to go far in life, mark my words.

  67. Janette105

    Depression, Anxiety, Migraines, Psoriasis, IBS, Colitis, PCOS, and major teeth issues due to grinding/clenching…none of these are life-threatening, but god are they ever SO ANNOYING! My husband is the luckiest bastard EVER! But he listens to me bitch and that’s what we’re here for. I hate to say that misery loves company, but sometimes it’s just nice to know that you aren’t alone. EVERYONE runs into health issues so you just keep cleansing your soul and write, write, write! We’ll still be here.

  68. Tracy D

    First let me say that I read your blog often. And am never tired of reading just because you talk about your health problems! Keep writing what you need to write, we will still read.
    Next…. my mom tells the story of taking my 3 yo brother with her to the grocery store and he called someone a motherf*&$ng c**ksucker. In the middle of the store. She never took him with her again. My dad had to keep him. So….. the a word is not too bad in comparison is it? LOL

  69. Sarah Joy

    First of all, I would like to address the issue of someone posting on your blog telling you how your relationship with God should be. Apparently she’s done it before – I don’t always read the comments on your blog. My feeling is, this is a public site that she is choosing to read. If she has such a problem with you or your mothering skills or your life, there’s a very simple resolution. Stop reading the blog!!! Seems logical to me.
    Next, I applaud you for trying to stop swearing. I’ve never been much of a “swearer”. My Mother always use to tell me, “Swearing is a sign of unintelligence, because you can’t think of anything better to say.” That has always just kind of stuck. Not saying that I never swear, because I’m human – and sometimes I’m not that intelligent and swearing feels good! But I just always try to remember that, and think about how I’m coming across to others.
    I found your blog by accident through the blogroll of a friend, but I’ve been enjoying it for the past few months. Keep writing about whatever you want, there are always going to be people interesting in what you say – regardless of the topic!!

  70. Tonya

    When I am driving (here in Italy, where you could cuss a LOT) I just say, “Look at all these crazy people. HEY CRAZY PEOPLE!!!” And my daughter (2) says, “Crazy People!” I mean, I have to say something, and it works. I don’t mind her calling them crazy. : )
    Good luck with everything!!!!

  71. angie

    Speaking of the swearing thing…when I go back in my car this morning after pumping gas my two year old said, “Mom, I’m singing the damn it song.” Then he started singing “damn it” over and over again to the tune of the ABC song. So damn it, I guess I maybe better quit with the damn its. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone….

  72. Lizzy'sMom

    In an attempt to make you feel better….
    I had the exploding pyrex once, with LOBSTER
    I have the thyroid issue and post menopausal hormones. My heart bleeds for you.
    Chin up, and keep posting. I love reading your site.

  73. Jesseeezmom

    Thank You to the other posters..I totally thought whats the disaster? I use foil! Our glass pan disaster was taking out a dinner for 5 and setting it on the cold tile counter and POW! Explosion! No dinner for anyone! We haven’t used glass since.we’re all metal that’s how we roll now! LOL! Once you get the caffiene monkey off your back you will be so much better-promise! I have been off of it for a couple of years and Holy Cow Seriously what a difference- I feel so much better!! Cutting the sugar helps too! I know its hard- I cheat but I can tell how crappy I feel when I do- Good Luck and we all can relate to your posts, there are a lot of us going through the same things as you and we love you Y!

  74. Neil

    Some doctors say cussing is probably good for blood flow. And you shouldn’t feel bad about writing about health issues. Everyone has something or knows someone with something. We all can relate.

  75. Bri

    I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m not turned away by your health talk. Go right ahead and get it out.
    Also, I’m so glad someone mentioned what the photo was about because I was really confused. πŸ˜‰
    Sending you healthful thoughts, hang in there!

  76. Mom101

    Suddenly I don’t feel quite so bad that Thalia said JESUS, mommy. JESUS CHRIST.
    Hope you feel better real soon mama. You and your potty mouth.

  77. Shell

    When our now 6 year old was 3 a woman behind us in line at the supermarket ran her cart into his legs repeatedly (he was sitting in the child seat with his legs hanging out and I was to the side loading things onto the belt)….he looked right at her and said “stupid bitch”. I was trying so hard not to laugh I almost forgot to scold him. All I said to her was “stop acting like one”. Needless to say she was quite incensed…didn’t hit him again though.

  78. Jen

    I too have the potty mouth thing going on. I tried to watch what I say but one slip up causes all my progress with the kids to be undone. The sad thing is, when something comes out of my 4 year old’s mouth I have to reprimand him, then leave the room to laugh! My 8 year old at least has learned not to say bad words even though his father and I may. But come on, how funny is it to hear the boys fighting and to hear the younger one go, with full expresssion, “What the HELL?!” (Ok, it shouldn’t be funny, and I promise to try and do better!)

  79. adams

    Whoa, Shell — some woman repeatedly ran her cart into your kid’s legs?! Dang. I would have cold cocked her before my kid had a chance to call her a stupid bitch. You showed admirable restraint!
    Y, keep hope alive! Your blog is amazing and so are you. Commenters like Sadie need to back the eff up and keep it moving.

  80. Heidi

    If that IS pyrex, you should call them, they will send you a new one! My mom had one explode on her when she was just putting it into the cupboard. They sent her a new one, you should get one, too.
    Also, feel better and keep writing. πŸ™‚

  81. KimberlyDi

    I wrote before (oh so helpful I’m sure) about how my new workout program is slowly actually working out. I’m only struggling with turning 40. It’s hard and I don’t have a thyroid problem. It would be so much harder for you, I know.
    Take care. Praying that you feel better soon.

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