I Dare You to Create a Site That Will Motivate Marketers to Do a Better Job Knowing The Blogger They are Marketing to. ZING!

These days the majority of the that emails I get are from dudes named jurrapus telling me how I can “power up my manlyness” or from chicks named Stephanii asking if “she laughs at my tiny size.” and do I want to “grow my dick biggest?” Oh, and also some really, awful, horrible pitches from marketers.
I usually ignore bad pitches and send them to the spam folder. Occasionally, I’ll respond to really bad marketing emails, but usually only if a) they are harassing me b) they call me Jack because they need to know my name is NOT Jack and also they need to know not to ever email me again. However, I’m having a hard time ignoring the one I received today from a woman named Stephanie.

I was checking out ­­Joy Unexpected and I really love the site! As a mom, you know how hard it is to get your body ready for swim suit season and a little boost of motivation can go a long way!
If you haven’t already heard of xxxxxx read on…If you’re already in the know, you’ll want check out our exciting new features for the tool that has helped over 200,000 users lose over 1 million virtual pounds collectively so far!
xxxxx is a FREE digital weight loss tool that allows users to see what they would look like at their target weight. It’s SO simple… you upload a photo of yourself, specify how much weight you’d like to lose, and xxxxx sends you back an image of yourself at your target weight (see example below). Dieters can see themselves thinner, which can provide the motivation needed to sustain a weight-loss goal… oh the things we do for motivation! Users are printing out the images and hanging them on their refrigerators, downloading as screensavers, etc.
Additionally, there is a Facebook community and our Facebook application:
The Facebook application allows users to:
· Track their progress with daily entries of your weight loss journey
· Connect with and share your photo with buddies for motivational support
· Discuss key weight loss issues with experts and other xxxxxx users
· Accrue points to be redeemed for additional motivational items from xxxxx for FREE such as prints, mugs, and t-shirts featuring the users “After” photo.
Should you be interested in trying out xxxxx or sharing it with your readers, please let me know if you need any additional information.

Oh my God.
The fact that a site exists where women can upload their pictures and in return receive a photo of what they’ll look like at their goal weight in the name of “motivation” is annoying in itself to me. I suppose I can understand how a site like that could be helpful to some people. Someone like myself, for instance, who has a great deal of weight to lose and is looking for any kind of light at the end of this Weight Loss Hell Tunnel. But, then again, not really because I just see it as another place in the world that makes women feel bad about the way their body looks.
Personally, I think it’s an asshole move to send emails to women that says “look at this site we’ve created for you to motivate you to lose weight!”? (And yes, it’s geared specifically towards women because the subject line of the email is: Helping Moms gear up for swim suit season!) I mean, if people want to go there voluntarily, because they are LOOKING for motivation to lose weight, AWESOME! But to just randomly send someone an email saying “I’ve got your motivation to lose weight right here!” NOT so awesome.
Which brings me to another point– Obviously, Stephanie has never read my blog. Because if she had, she would have seen this post and maybe, just maybe she would have thought twice about sending me the link to a site where I can VISUALIZE MYSELF AT MY GOAL WEIGHT! FOR MOTIVATION! BECAUSE NOT WANTING TO DIE OF HEART DISEASE OR GET DIABETES ISN’T MOTIVATION ENOUGH! YOU MUST SEE YOURSELF THINNER! AND POST THOSE PHOTOS ON YOUR FRIDGE! FOR MOTIVATION!
I really want to give her the big old giant finger because if you’ve read this site at all you would know that I’ve been “motivated” for many, many months and my body isn’t cooperating because I have this auto-immune disease that is fucking with my body in non pleasurable ways and guess what? Even posting articles on my fridge about how “obesity can kill” me isn’t motivating my metabolism enough to DROP THIS FUCKING WEIGHT ALREADY.
Also? I really don’t need your stupid website to help me envision what I will look like at my goal weight because I have a lifetime worth of old photos of myself at a normal (for me) weight. I see them daily, hanging on walls, in photo albums and I wish that I could look like that again some day. Every day I walk past photos of me and my children pre-thyroid disease and I wish I had that body back. And not just because I was thin, but because I was healthy. Because my hair was thick and shiny, not dull and falling out by the handfuls. Because I didn’t have puffy face or droopy eye. Because I had a healthy sex drive and never would have cried at the thought of having sex with the man I love. Because I had energy and was happy, not in a state of constant fatigue, brain fog and depression.
So, excuse me if I don’t want to join upload pictures to your site so you can show me how great I’ll look 75 pounds lighter! (FOR MOTIVATION!) (p.s. Like THIS.) But if you ever invent a site that will let you upload your Currently Not Being Treated Properly Auto Immune Disease so you can see what you’ll look like after you get Properly Medicated By A Doctor Who Gives A Shit, don’t hesitate to let me know about that! I’ll ever link to it from Twitter!

26 thoughts on “I Dare You to Create a Site That Will Motivate Marketers to Do a Better Job Knowing The Blogger They are Marketing to. ZING!

  1. Mr Lady

    I think your reaction is perfectly in proportion to the catalyst.
    I hate PR pitches. For anything, especially the ones that tell me how bad I currently look in a swim suit.

  2. schoolofmom

    OMG, what jerks. I kind of think they’re jerks just for coming up with the app, though. Even those of us without Hashimoto’s probably don’t benefit from those kind of “motivational” pix.
    (BTW, I know you probably don’t want to give them free advertisement, so… there’s one mention of the name that’s not xxxx’d out.)

  3. Overflowing Brain (Katie)

    Um, yea, I think that’s a totally reasonable reaction.
    I’d be pretty effing pissed if someone tried to tell me that they read my blog and sent an email telling me that all I really need to do to lose weight is to visualize myself thinner. Um, isn’t that what you do when dieting? You visualize yourself thinner? I doubt there are a whole lot of women who struggle with losing weight because they can’t visualize themselves thinner.
    Yea, that’s stupid. And insensitive. Just a big ole pile of jackassery.

  4. Annika

    I got that exact same email. I marked it as spam so fast that I didn’t have a chance to blog my indignation (which was my second impulse).

  5. Beth Nixon

    I’ve just recently come to the conclusion that every product out there is about making me feel bad about myself. It’s telling me how much I need to buy their product so I won’t be so ugly and fat.
    And it’s certainly not about me. It’s about them making money on the insecurities they insist I have.
    So, I’m deciding to fight back by loving myself just the way I am. And it’s not easy. My flaws are big. But I’m never going to be so perfect that some company won’t figure out a way to tell me how much I suck unless I buy their product. So, instead, I’m going to be happy with my imperfect-ness.

  6. Becky

    And to think, I only get emails from Nigerian princes! Any day now, Y, I’m coming into a bunch of money. They said so. The Internet never lies, you know.

  7. Jamie

    Right after getting out of a relationship for five years, no really, like days after, I get an email saying they want send me a new book called DUMPED! (the fun and games activity book). FML
    I’m pretty sure I cried.
    Note to marketers: Making people cry when pitching is not the way to go about promoting a product.

  8. Kimberly/Mom in the City

    It seems like all of us bloggers get the same emails! I got that one today too. (You just saved me a read-through. Thanks.)
    On another note, I hope that you get a good, caring doctor to treat your Auto Immune Disease soon.

  9. Sarcastic Mom

    BAHAHAHAHA! I just got that exact same email. And had a very similar reaction.
    But you? Oh, how I love you and this post is just a sign of why.

  10. Veronica

    I got the same email and laughed, because if she had of actually read my site, she would have realised that I’m in the southern hemisphere and therefore going into winter.

  11. Marcy

    I am so with ya on this one..
    My thyroid sucks the big one too.. and it drives you bat shit crazy.. This wieght thing..
    Sometimes…. People and their bull shit just get to ya…
    all I can say is Amen sista.. amen.
    On a brighter note… at least you found out what was causing the stench in your car….
    That’s me… little Miss Sunshine !!!

  12. patois

    Stupid woman. Stupid, stupid, stupid. If you’re going to say you checked out someone’s blog, at least read through at least three or four of the last posts.

  13. DogsDontPurr

    I totally hear ya. There’s nothing I hate more than someone who thinks they can solve all your problems when they’ve never had the problem themselves.
    My doctor, at Kaiser!, is all about lecturing and referring me on to other doctors. Yeah, pass the buck! She’s skinny, super healthy, probably runs marathons. But because I mentioned that I drink alcohol, it’s all lecture, lecture, lecture.
    And even my boyfriend plays the blame game. Yeah, I’d like to lose weight and feel healthy and not be in pain. Do you think I like feeling this way? Argh.
    Sorry to go off on a tangent, but I just sooo understand what you are saying.
    Here’s to hoping that we will eventually achieve our own wellness. ((Hugs))

  14. gaylin

    I went 8 years undiagnosed with Hashimoto’s. Was very sick, including permanent digestion problems.
    One of the best things I ever did was read The Thyroid Solution by Dr. Ridha Arem and went to my endocrinologist and asked to be put on Cytomel along with the Synthroid.
    I about 12 pounds overweight and have to be very very careful about how much I do or exercise. Lots of walking works best.
    Take care of yourself.

  15. Alice

    That shit is ridiculous. I know that not everyone is into HAES (health at every size) or fat acceptance, and I don’t expect that (I know you’re not into them, at least I haven’t read about them here). HOWEVER. You don’t have to be into either movement to know that hawking shame is a truly amoral practice, and to do it to someone who has documented *at length* her medical issues WRT weight loss is especially so.
    Truly, at the end of every day, you know that you’ve spent it helping people to have a bit more fun and/or understanding in their lives, and she’s spent it making people feel like shit. Doesn’t make her any less effective at making people feel like shit, but it clearly delineates who the cooler woman is IMO.

  16. e

    You know what’s awesome is the (sometimes unfortunately accurate) assumption that every woman wants to lose weight. Like, nevermind what size you’re at now. You Want To Lose Weight.
    It disgusts me.

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