(omg! She’s writing about not being able to write!)

I’m currently suffering from Severe WannaBe Writers Block.
I sat down at least 5 times yesterday to write about such things as “my husband taking the coaching of city basketball WAY too seriously.”
“The planning of The Passion Party and how my friend suggested we should serve “Weenies and beans” and how she was completely serious and not even aware of how HILARIOUS it was that she suggested “WEENIES” for a party about and for weenies.”
“me getting served at the gym last night when a little old lady put me to shame by lifting 10 pound weights with ease while I struggled with my 5 pounders and how I kinda wanted to kick her where babies come out for making me feel bad about myself even though she was just doin’ her thang.”
Connie Chung. (Ok, and also Maury Povich.”)
“when I told a certain comedian friend of mine who shall remain nameless that I put a little weight back on, his response was “Lose the weight. No excuses. Not fucking one. Lose the weight” and how I wigged the HELL out and went all “typical woman” on him and started to cry because how dare he not comfort me and offer me a virtual (*(*(*(*HUG*)*)*)*)”
And I sat here for hours, unable to put any of those things into a coherent post. And then I lost my shit, said a lot of “F” words and called my computer a bitch. I felt so bad because, seriously, is it the computers fault? IS IT? Of course it isn’t, so I apologized and we both cried a little because it’s not anyone’s fault.
WannaBe Writers Block happens, man. It just happens.

31 thoughts on “(omg! She’s writing about not being able to write!)

  1. Ocanbug

    LOOK AT YOU… That ended up being a good post.
    We all go through times like that, I can relate.
    I HATE when someone just says “loose the weight” like it was just that easy!!! SHIT I am about 30 lbs over weight and I stuggle day to day, go up and down like a yoyo. At least you are on the path, keep it up….That’s the key. Right now I am PMSing and I will crush anyone who crosses me like an ant!! GIVE ME CHOCOLATE!!

  2. Culotte

    Dude. I started feeling like a writer when I just up and decided to CALL myself a writer.
    So here’s the deal: you’re funny. You’re a writer. Own it.

  3. Heather B.

    Dude, I hosted a passion party about a year and a half ago. We served, champagne and brie and other pretentious foods, but weenies and beans sounds a hell of a lot cooler. But get LOTS of alcohol, y’all will need it.

  4. Y

    Oh, don’t you worry. The liquor will be free flowing, as will the multi purpose cream that numbs buttholes AND is great for teething!

  5. Stepherz

    You’re not alone! I have a whole entire catagory in my blog for “Writer’s Block” material. But I only have like 6 (though very special and loyal) readers/commenters. Sometimes nothing funny or exciting happens worthy of writing about, and I want to spare those readers from the brain that is really mine and is bitchy and boring at times. So instead I just write something silly in my “Writer’s Block” catagory. Shhhh! Don’t tell them I’m bitchy and boring sometimes, k?

  6. Y

    OMG! Amy! Fish tacos and Weenies!
    (p.s. You want to come? You can come, I totally meant to send you an invitation.)

  7. RachelS

    I hate it when that happens. I’ve taken to carrying a notepad around with me and writing down ideas and saving them for when I can’t think of anything to write.

  8. leahpeah

    so, is pork-n-beans the same as weenies and beans?
    i seriously cried from the connie chung thing. and then i sawed my ears off.

  9. demondoll

    Even when you despair about your writing, you write so well!
    Make sure your P Party consultant brings clean toys(by clean I mean lint-free), and 1 use-only sample thingies. The party I went to was unhygienic, and I had to leave. I’m just sayin’!

  10. Steve T.


    The Beginning Runner’s Handbook: The Proven 13-Week Walk/Run Program. The program in this book will ease you gently into running if you follow it consistently and in moderation. It’s working for me.


    weenie, n. 1. See hot dog. 2. See penis.

  11. buzz

    “Wannabe Writers Block”. Yep, that pretty much describes every day for me. Glad to see I’m not alone. Well, not glad per se but, well, you know what I mean.
    (See? I totally can’t write anymore!)

  12. Amalah

    Dude, if you do not serve fish tacos at your passion party, preferably in taco shells you have meticulously coated with pink food coloring, I will never speak to you again.

  13. exile

    writing about not being able to write is bad
    writing about not being able to write about not being able to write is worse
    dont’ foget to have some “stinky finger foods”

  14. emily

    that maury clip was HO-larious (hee!). I watched about 5 of them. It makes me feel grimy inside, but at the same time I just laugh and laugh.
    Connie Chung’s farwell hurt me though. Ahhh. She was doing it to be funny, but if you can’t sing, keep your sketches about not singing under 5 min, okay Miss Connie?

  15. Jolie

    I second what the first couple of commenters said. You actually did write a post. It was a great post and you are a writer even if you think you aren’t.
    You rock! I come here because you are real and I have a bit of voyeur in me. Don’t we all? We get to peek into each others lives. Just keep writing what you want. Don’t try so hard with the weight. Just watch what you eat, play with the kids and it will come off. No buggin’ either! Stress is a downer.

  16. Mari

    The comedian friend better not be Jay. And if you know Dane Cook, I will beat him, cause I love Dane Cook and his girlfriend looks like a vanilla waifer on a diet. Dane cook needs my chubby hispanic ass to show him what real chubby love is all about. Ok, I need to shut up now.

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