Ancient.

The first time I met Pighunter, I was 14 years old and he was 20.
His ex-girlfriends mother had invited him to church, the same church that my dad was co-pastor of, and so, he came, “got saved” and started attending regularly.
Ex-girlfriend followed him there and so, she started attending church regularly as well and Pighunter became known as “Diane’s Boyfriend.”
I thought Pighunter was the biggest, most giant nerd I had ever met. He was skinny, had puffy hair, wore glasses that BIGGER THAN GOD and OMIGAWD! He talked like a valley girl.
Me and my best friend used to make fun of him all of the time. We’d make fun of the way he talked, of the clothes he’d wear, and of the fact that “haha! He looks like a rat!”
Honestly, we had no right to be making fun of A-N-Y-O-N-E because.
Um.

Yeah.
Eventually, I got to know him, fell in love with him and WANTED TO HAVE TEH SEX WITH HIM EVERY MINUTE OF EVERYDAY.
(One day, I am going to write our “how we met and fell in love” story. And you will laugh because Oh.My.God.Nerds.At.Church.In.Love.)
I’ll never forget the day we announced our engagement in front of the church. I was all “OMG. I LOVE HIM. lala.ponies.rainbows.love.Jesus.love.butterflies.love.LOVE.KISSIES.HUGGIES and I can’t wait to grow old with him.”
Everyone laughed (Except for my mom, who was disgusted by my lovey dovey shit) but I meant it. I loved him so much in that moment that I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and have kids with him and grow old together and sit on the porch in our rocking chairs and watch our grandkids play together.
I was 18 years old when I said those words, he was only 24.
Today, that beautiful man whom I loved with every fiber of my being and whom I dreamed of growing with turns fourty one years old
My babies daddy A few nights ago, we were laying on the sofa watching television late at night. I scooted close to him and began running my fingers through his hair. His thin, gray hair.
“This is the man that I fell in love with when I was only 17 years old.” I thought to myself.
His hair, once thick and jet black is now thin and gray. The age is starting to show in his face, in his hands, in the way he moves. The energetic young man who would stay up late with me to watch Arsenio Hall, now passes out on the couch before 8pm.
He’s growing old right before my eyes. We’re growing old together.
The other night, we talked about the fact that one day, one of us will have to bury the other. (Because THE LORD KNOWS NEITHER ONE OF US IS EVER LEAVING.) I started to cry and told him that he better let me die first because I realized in that moment that I could not life my life without him in it. I can’t even begin to imagine how I could get out of bed if he wasn’t there to kiss me goodmorning. I started to panic! And then! I PUNCHED HIM (seriously! I did!) and told him that he had better start working out and TAKING THE DAMN VITAMINS I BOUGHT HIM LAST YEAR because I NEED HIM TO OUTLIVE ME.
(See how fun and awesome we are! We talk about beautiful things, like burying each other and who’s going to die first!)
41. Which means in a month, I will be 35. My God. How the time is flying by. I still remember when we were young and pretty, with big hair and VERY LARGE GLASSES and all we wanted to do was be alone so we could Do The Nasty.

Now, we want nothing more than to take a nap and watch “To Catch a Predator” while we discuss what WE would do to those perverts if we could get our hands on them. (Hint: Cut.Off.Balls.)
Happy Birthday, Pighunter. I LOVE YOU AND I SWEAR TO GOD, YOU BETTER LET ME DIE FIRST.
xoxo

51 thoughts on “Ancient.”

  2. Nina

    That’s so sweet!
    I’m the opposite of that though. My husband better die first because a) I don’t want to die and b) I have to make sure he never touches another woman (in that way) as long as he lives.

  5. Amy

    You can totally tell that you guys are itching to do the nasty in that second picture. In fact, was he feeling you up while it was being taken??

  8. Leticia

    So sweet. I’m going to hug my hunny extra tight tonight. Thanks for summing it up so well.
    Happy Birthday Pig Hunter. Leos…we rule. :o)

  9. jamie

    Ahh I also married young and I totally know what you are feeling..lol It is very hard to swallow the fact that we ain’t 18 anymore..lol. I still look at my hubby and see my 17yo knight in shinning armour.
    Doesnt it feel weird to have a son who is almost THE SAME AGE AS YOU WERE WHEN YOU MET YOUR HUBBY ? Ack.. that is something that freaks me out.haha (my oldest will be 14 in Nov , I met my hubby at 15yo)
    Wish your hubby Happy Birthday for me !

  11. Chase

    That’s (oddly) one of the sweetest things I’ve ever read. “You better let me die first!” I love it!
    Happy bday. 🙂

  12. Lena

    Chris is 16 years older than I am. I am in full-on panic lately. I punch him every time he eats McDonalds.
    I must die first! I MUST! And today’s my BIRTHDAY! THANKS A LOT Y! I’M SAAAD!
    Happy B-day Tony!

  14. Amber

    Happy Birthday Tony!
    Keep up the sweet stuff Y, it seems to bring out the good & sweet in all of us 🙂

  15. dcrmom

    OMG. Only you could make a sentimenal birthday post HI.LAR.I.OUS. (First time commenter, been reading for several weeks. You always crack me up.)

  16. stepherz

    Oh, Y! I love this post! It makes me want to go and squeeze my husband! And PUNCH him! Because I feel the same way as you– I couldn’t POSSIBLY go a day without him. I can’t imagine. And, you both were absolutely adorable. I’ve seen that photo of the two of you and it is awesome!

  17. anna

    Oh, I love that. My husband and I have already agreed that I will outlive him so I will be there to hold his hand when he dies. But he has to be at least 90, because he has promised me 60 years of sex!

  18. mizladytaz

    Happy Birthday Tony! It’s my birthday too … I turned 42 today! Leticia’s right … Leo’s Rule!! LOL Y, my hubby and I have a pact that we go at the SAME time!! Cuz neither of us could live without the other! ;0)

  19. julianna

    OMG, you are making me cry so hard. because I totally understand that! My husband is not allowed to die! i told him! NOT ALLOWED!!!!!
    He’s 2 years older than me and he looks older than that which makes me really paranoid and he had better live to be fucking 199 years old or else I swear I will rise from the grave and kick his ass!!
    His father is 78 which gives me some hope, and his mother is 74… but women in my family kick out between 90-105 and so he had better keep up.
    I did the same thing last time I went to visit him. i totally started to pet him like a dog on the head and then I thought about how one day he would be DEAD and then I couldn’t touch him and OMG I had better do it now and holy batshit living apart means wasting precious moments and I started to sob and he was like WTF? and I was like “OMG you are not allowed to die! And also we are moving out into the desert RIGHT NOW go buy a freakin tent and a camel because!!”
    He was all calm and said “Habibti, I can live in the desert with no food or water, but I am pretty sure you will die. It’s probably better if we stay in the apartment. And use the car.”
    So go back to your husband and punch him again and tell him he is NOT.ALLOWED.TO.DIE.

  21. Carmen

    Oh, man, Y. You get me every freakin’ time.
    My hubby is 16 years older than me, and I’m afraid of the very same thing. But, then again, I don’t want either of us to die.
    Happy Birthday to him, and enjoy the nasty tonight!!

  22. xtine

    DUDE! I totally hung out with one of those “predators”!!! He’s one of the ones from Fort Myers; (no, not the nekkid one) my ex-boyfriend’s friends brought him over one night in high school and he was soooooo creepy!
    But Y, this entry rules. I’m 22, my fiance is 29, and I plan on getting old and gray and crusty with him and enjoy every second of it.

  23. girlplease

    good going. you made me cry (for so many reasons).
    you have no idea how in awe and jealous of what you have and how you two feel. very happy for you though. very, very happy for you.
    and yes, i’m shitting myself that i too will be 35 at the end of the year.
    what the fuck is that all about? wasn’t i 15 and dumb as a brick like yesterday? ok maybe the dumb as a brick part.
    YOU BETTER GO TO BLOGHER NEXT YEAR TO SEE ME!
    we have soooo much in common, you have no idea. 🙂

  24. Stacey

    Aren’t we lucky to have found wonderful men who will put up with our freaking out / occasional bitchiness / obsessive bloggy-ness? You made me realize just how much I appreciate my hubby too, but you put in words better than I could.
    And I’m with ‘girlplease’ on BlogHer next year…Chicago!! 10 hours from my house!!! Wheeee!!!!!

  26. eve

    Your post actually moved me to tears, because you captured a sentiment that I feel for my own fiance. I hope that once we’re as old as you guys are (hee hee just kidding!), we still have that same sort of magical feeling. Thanks for sharing… and happy birthday Tony!!

  27. Mona

    Happy Birthday to Tony!
    I cried so bad reading yr post really I did 🙁
    That was one awesome post!

  28. Melody

    Aw, Happy Birthday!!
    You guys are so awesome! (and I’m such a loser, all this time I heard you talk about Pighunter and didn’t actually know it was Tony!! LOL)

  29. Isabel

    damn! you’re not supposed to make me cry. I came to laugh today. Wink.
    FYI- This year I celebrated 15 years with my husband (though married 9). I’m turning 35 in October. He turned 41 in April. Sigh. Beautiful post.

  30. Amber

    I’ve gotta say… This is one of the sweetest things I’ve read in a long time. One can only hope for that kind of love in their lives.
    Happy Birthday, Pighunter.

  31. E :)

    You guys are such a gorgeous couple. But what makes you guys extra HOTTTT is Tony’s big glasses. Funk-ay. (They look just like my first pair of glasses – aaaaargh!!!!)

  33. DebbieS

    That was the sweetest, funniest thing I’ve read all year. Happy birthday, Pighunter! Guess those birth control glasses didn’t work so good, huh?
    Y, your birthday is in September, too? What day? Mine’s the 15th. Leos and Virgos rule!

  35. Belinda

    Grow old along with me…the best is yet to be.
    Happiest of birthdays, handsome husband, and many, many more for both of you TOGETHER.

  39. claire

    incredibly sweet post. My husband and I have been together since i was 15!!!! and got married last year. In our vows i read something I wrote at 16 that said pretty much he is the only person i want to grow old and deal with all of the shit life throws at us. More than wanting to have all the lovydovy moments, I want to grow old with him. sitting here at work I started tearing up reading this post, very cute and sweet.
    Just the other day on the way to the grocery we had the what if one of us dies conversation, and we have already agreed I get to go first because I would be such a wreak without him 🙂

  40. lindsay

    this post made me want to totally punch my husband! however, I have already told him that I get to die first, and what to do afterthat… and we are a leo/virgo couple too 🙂 Happy belated birthday Pighunter!

  41. Itchy

    Happy Birthday to PigHunter!
    That was an awesome post, Y. My hubby and I have the same talks every so often…But I always tell him that I’ll outlive him. I don’t want to live without him, but he’ll be hopeless without me and I don’t want to see him suffer that way. 🙂

  45. kimberlee

    Can you feel the love … OUCH!! 😉
    Seriously, awesome post. I haven’t put my concern into punches yet (he’s got 11 years on me and I turn 41 next month- GAAAAAHHHH!), but I know what you mean.
    Hope the man had a great birthday. I’m sure you took care of that. 🙂

  46. jen

    Happy Birthday, PH! It must’ve been true love if she was able to get beyond the Big Glasses.
    And you guys make some pretty great kids, so yay The Nasty!

  49. dana michelle

    That post got me all choked up about losing my soon-to-be-husband, and we’re not even married yet! Happy Bithday Pig Hunter!!
    By the way, I’m still waiting for the post that explains the derivation of the nickname. I believe I’ve requested it before.
    Then again, maybe it’s better if I don’t know… ;-p

  50. Dawn

    My hubby and I fight about that all the time. Of course we also disagree about who loves who the most. Almost 18 years of marriage and we’re still fighting about it. You’d think one of us would get sick of the other one and say “Ok fine, you can die first and you love me more.”

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