The One in Which Jay Mohr Answers My Very Important Questions Because He is THE BEST.

One summer night in the back alley of an Improv, I met my Celebrity Crush, my “Free Pass” if you will.
with Jay Mohr
Jay Mohr.
I have loved Jay since he was a guest host on Live with Regis and Kelly. Until his appearance there, I only knew him as “that actor from Jerry Maguire.” I had no idea that he was a (brilliant) stand up comedian. I went to a few of his live shows after learning that he was a comic and you guys, he is HILARIOUS. I’ve never been disappointed at one of his shows.
Since that first night I met him, we’ve become friends.
He can't help it. He likes me. A lot.
When I found out he had written a new book about parenthood, I was thrilled. The stories he tells on stage about being a father are some of the funniest I’ve ever heard told. I imagine the book will be just as hilarious. I asked Jay if I could ask him a few questions to post on my blog, so that The Wonderful People Who Read My Blog could get a chance to know him a little better. Because he is incredibly kind and because he “likes me a lot” he said yes.
Confession: I needed help with the questions. Because even though I know him and we are friendly, he will always be My Celebrity Crush and well, I got all doubty-pants about my questions. “He’ll think this is a stupid question!” and “this isn’t funny enough!”
Thankfully, Metalia stepped in to help.
Me: Which job has required more of your improv talents: stand-up or parenting?
Jay: I think stand up requires more improv skills. Parenting to me is establishing STRUCTURE. If our kids wander from that structure we can tell them they are wrong. Audiences boo and tell you to fuck off. Kids don’t boo until they’re teenagers.
What has been the best surprise of becoming a father, and what’s been the worst?
Jay: The best surprise of becoming a father is being able to use the womens’ restroom with a baby. There is a couch in there! Holy smokes. No wonder women go to the bathroom in pairs, there’s a place for the extra person to lay down! If there were couches in the men’s bathroom at sports bars, there would be as many guys in the bathroom as guys at the bar. Also, it seems that women clean up after themselves even when no one is looking. Fascinating. The worst surprise of becoming a father is learning that kids are ALL morning people.
Poop: Totally desensitized to it at this point? Or still totally gross? Discuss.
Jay: Poop has never bothered me for whatever reason. It might stem from the fact that it has been shooting out of me three times a day for forty years.
Do you remember how we first met? If so, can you tell my readers a little bit about that not. If not, I can, IN GREAT DETAIL.
Jay: I do not remember the first time we met. I do remember the times you somehow became my wingman for the mentally insane. Your readers need to know the great lengths you went to to keep me from being murdered in San Jose by a woman who took the bus from Texas to come see me. HELTER SKELTER. (me: Maybe I need to tell that story sometime. Fun times!)
I am convinced that kids have a My Parents Are Doing It sense. It only took getting busted once to teach us to ALWAYS LOCK THE DOOR. Have you ever been “caught in the act”?
Jay: I have never been caught in the act. YET. I am prepared to tell my son though, that daddy was on fire and Momma was just putting it out with her bottom.
Team Jill or Team Bethenny?
Jay: TEAM JILL. Bethanny is an ugly person inside. When drama always surrounds one person, eventually you have to realize that the one common denominator is THAT PERSON.
What is the ONE thing you want people to know about your new book?
I can’t thank Jay enough for taking the time to answer my questions. I swear, I LOVE THAT MAN. I’ve asked Jay to come back to read the comments, so be nice. (I won’t publish asshole comments, you’ve been warned.)
Jay’s new book, No Wonder My Parents Drank, will be out on May 11th, but you can pre-order it now at Amazon.

47 thoughts on “The One in Which Jay Mohr Answers My Very Important Questions Because He is THE BEST.

  1. metalia

    Heeeeee! I love his responses, and I’ve always found him to be hilarious. Congratulations to him on the book; I will of course be picking it up. 🙂

  2. Debbie, i obsess

    I always knew you were crazy, um, AWESOME, I meant awesome (obviously), Jay. No. That’s a bald-faced lie. I’ve only known you were (awesome, not crazy) since you were on Jon Favreau’s IMC show, the Dinner one, I want to call it Dinner for Five but that sounds too much like Party of Five and oh, good god, I’m getting nowhere. Okay. Point: you discussed your anxiety and panic attacks and the resulting need to wear your meds on your person at all times, and I knew in that moment that we would possibly someday meet and, in that crucial moment, probably share meds. Only, we don’t likely need to, because I’m betting they’re similar/same. I like me some meds. (I’m an Adderall + Klonopin girl, m’self.)
    Your acknowledgment of your anxiety in a public forum and the risk you took as an actor, someone an audience must trust to stride onto a stage and not have a massive meltdown mid-performance, was huge, and gutsy, and admirable. Thank you for doing it. And also thank you for taking your meds and staying alive so we can continue to appreciate your brilliance. And thank you for being friends with Y and for this interview. Amen.

  3. Christine

    You both ROCK! I can’t wait to read the book.
    Also, as a follow up to the poop question….Vomit? Desensitized? Or totally gross? After 17 years and 5 kids, I still can’t handle the vomit. Still, and always will be, my husband’s job to clean that up.

  4. Backpacking Dad

    Jay…I want you…to know that….I’ve been thinking about…your question…for going on ten years now.
    A tail.
    And that’s all the Jay Mohr/Christopher Walken geekiness I’ll be indulging in today.

  5. Jenny, Bloggess

    Wait…three times a day? Really? Is he sick or am I? Because if I was pooping 15 times a week I think I’d be in the hospital.
    Maybe that’s how he stays so thin…
    Now I’ll have to read the book to find out.

  6. Laura

    What are you thinking inviting another comic on here to compete with your funniness? Love you both!

  7. denice

    i’ve always adored jay as well but can’t say he was ever a crush – he looks A LOT like one of my brothers so…eww.
    great interview.
    (waves @ jay mohr who is reading these comments)

  8. Annie

    One of my favorite movies “Pay it Forward”. Thank you. A great cast, you must have had a blast. Any stories?

  9. Tami

    Thank you for writing your book regarding your struggles with anxiety. I read it from cover to cover. You are so kind to share your hardest moments with the world and now you are living proof that there is life after anxiety attacks.
    I look forward to reading your book about parenting.
    You are such a swell guy for doing this interview for Y!!

  10. Meg from Ga

    Can’t wait to read the book and I HAVE to remember the “Daddy’s on fire…” quote. I may have to use that one! I literally laughed out loud! Great interview! Love me some Jay!

  11. Mom101

    Is it sad that I may love Jay Mohr most of all because he watches Real Housewives?
    You two are cute together. Get a room.

  12. annettek

    Awesome. But he is wrong about one thing; some kids boo you when they’re 7 instead of waiting until they’re teenagers. (I don’t know that from experience or anything. ~ahem~)

  13. Shannon

    I’ve always been a fan of Jay too – there’s been something about him I couldn’t put my finger on until now (besides being funny) and now I know – he’s a nice guy.

  14. Miss Britt

    All I want to know is – who let this guy into their women’s bathroom? THEY BROKE CODE, MAN! And now look – he’s telling everyone about the couches!
    You guys, he needs to be stopped.

  15. Allyson

    Great interview! I love Jay too! He is super funny and seems like an all around good guy. He is on my list of 5 and honestly, this blog will probably the closest I ever get to him. Thanks Y! This was fun to read.

  16. J.J.

    Wow. I didn’t realize I was tapping into such a devout fan base. Very nice. To answer some of your questions…I like vomit. it always has made me laugh when I watch someone throw up. Doesn’t bother me. I do however find the use of the word “throw up” as a noun repulsive..(IE: There was throw up on the floor). The couches in the ladies room is more of a nightclub thing. Also, if you are team Bethanny, please list her positive attributes in your next post. I would like to hear them. That’s all for now ladies. Pre-order the book and flatten your stomach. ( i shit 3 times a day because i drink too much coffee)

  17. Laura in Michigan

    Wait, who is Team Bethanny? I watch SciFi, so I think I am missing something. See Y? -you bring out the confessions in all of us.

  18. Y

    I’ll give it a try.
    Bethenny is funny, she makes a mean (skinny?) martini… oh, hell, that’s all I’ve got. She should have called Bobby!
    But seriously? Fuck Jill and Bethenny. Team SIMON.
    (He loves fashion and doesn’t care who knows it!)

  19. Mocha

    Next time, please discuss the option of stand up pooping. This is a real issue that must be taken SERIOUSLY. Especially if you like pooping outdoors.
    You know, I might just have to figure out this Real Housewives thing but they keep making me work like 40 hours a week with the little children and I get most of my television input from teenagers. They are NOT reliable. Didn’t know if you knew that yet, Jay. Trust me. NOT. Reliable.
    Except for their pooping schedules. Those are totally like clockwork.

  20. Lisa Stone

    Jay: I just read your theory “Kids don’t boo until they’re teenagers” to my 14-year-old. He says your kids are doing it wrong. Yet this book, I will buy.
    Yvonne: Further proof you are world’s best wingman. Ever.

  21. Moose

    I am completely charmed by you both. Goddamnit, now I have another book to read. DO YOU KNOW HOW BEHIND I AM ON MY READING? So behind I still haven’t finished Moby Dick for my American Lit class. The one that ended 11 years ago.

  22. Y

    One more thing about the Jill/Bethenny thing…
    Jay, how do you defend Jill putting Bethenny on speakerphone? ALSO? SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT DISPROPORTIONATE MEANS.
    Defend that.

  23. j.j.

    Y…Jill let Bethanny know that she was on speaker phone AND told her that “other” people were in the room. Bethanny chose to continue the conversation. Jill is at the least a good mother and at the best a DEVOTED wife. I love the Bobby. B is all about B at all times. The wife and I like the Countess the most anyway….(she never said a negative thing about her scumbag cheating husband that dumped her….the rags would have been all over that if she did. She stayed classy…like a countess.)

  24. Y

    Good points.
    but ohhh. The Countess. I can’t stand her ever since she told that little girl who wanted to be a model “you still have time to lose weight.” or something insulting like that.
    Way to crush an impressionable child’s self esteem, woman.
    But I do agree she’s handled herself with class.
    What I really want to know is how you feel about Ramona.

  25. Cristie

    So, you know I loved you. Then you had pictures of Jay and I loved you even more (maybe envied is a better word here). Now, you have an interview with him AND you ask him about team jill and team bethenny? Seriously woman-you are my hero.
    Oh and PS I love you too Jay. I will totally read the book because I am sure the flat abs will come from the peeing-while-laughing I will do.

  26. j.j.

    Y…Ramona is obviously unstable. She must be on new meds this season to explain her strange, “It’s a whole new me!” mantra. Kelli is like a yellow lab that only knows, “tennis ball tennis ball tennis ball tennis ball tennis ball…” except I think Kelli replaces “tennis ball” with, “Breath in, breath out, smile, breath in, breath out, smile.” Just my opinion.

  27. Y

    Ramona’s renewal!
    I laughed out loud at “Kelly is like a yellow lab…”
    But, poor Kelli. It’s hard being pretty, Jay. It really is.

  28. angelynn

    This was a great interview! I can definitely see why he’s your crush. I would love to read his book. Seeing parenthood through a comedian’s eyes helps me remember the funny little bits that often get overlooked. Thanks for sharing this. 🙂

  29. elz

    He seems really funny in movies, and really funny in your interview. I’ll put this book in my summer reading list.

  30. Mom101

    Ok JJ –
    My understanding is there was not so much classy in the countess. When you’re in NY you hear the real dirt about other NYers. Sort of like how everyone in LA knows someone who knows the truth about Tom Cruise.
    I’ll email Y and she can pass it on directly. I’m too uh, classy to post it here.

  31. j.j.

    I just read an excerpt from the book and lost a dress size. I will kick Rick Springfield’s ass if he thinks he is going to poison my new friends. The Mommy Bloggers. My peeps. If Rick Springfield goes within 200 yards of Lisa Stone, I will kill him.

  32. sherry

    I’ve always liked Jay well enough but this totally seals the deal and I am now an insta-fan. I need to hear some of his stand-up!

  33. Maggie, dammit

    I’m back because it suddenly occurred to me my comment might be misconstrued as sarcastic–it’s not, it’s just that all of a sudden all I could think about was pooping. I am, sincerely, charmed.
    Charmed by your friendship, charmed by Jay’s obvious talent and wit, and charmed by the grace he’s displaying here. Utterly charmed, see?
    And as always, my friend, Team Y.

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