It’s been raining in Southern California for 6 days. IN A ROW. This is not something that I am used to. Nor is this something that I enjoy. Especially because the rain is causing problems, like, flooding the garage and now, THIS:
It started as a small wet spot on the carpet that we assumed was water that one of the kids had spilled, except that didn’t really make sense because none of the kids were home. But we hoped maybe they had spilled it before they had left 2 days earlier because we did not want to believe that water was actually coming up from the ground. Because we are supposed to have Christmas at (not) our house and Christmas is in 4 days and PLEASE GOD LET IT BE A SPILL THAT HAS NOT DRIED YET.
It wasn’t a spill. It was water seeping into the house from the sliding door. That water had soaked the wood strip and the padding underneath the carpet. because our landlord “doesn’t even know who to call to fix this sort of thing” my husband offered to take care of it so that there isn’t further damage to the house. (My husband is kind of a Fix It Genius.)
This is not how I imagined we’d be spending the week before Christmas. I hope we (ha ha “we”) can get this fixed quickly so we can have a little more “baking cookies while listening to Christmas music” and less “ripping up wet carpet and sealing up leaks.”
This is What Happens When You Procrastinate.
I tend to wait until the last minute (sometimes, literally the last minute!) to do things. So, it wasn’t really a surprise to anyone that I was wrapping teacher’s gifts 10 minutes before we had to leave this morning.
I bought candles and picture frames for G’s teachers. (Which is kind of a lazy gift. But- and this is going to shock you–I waited until the last minute to buy the gifts and all I could think of while wondering aimlessly through Target late last night was “candles and picture frames!”) I picked up the candles so I could get them all wrapped up. The lid one one of the candles wasn’t on correctly, so I pushed down to get it to snap into place. It didn’t work. So, I pushed again, this time with just a little more pressure. Still didn’t work. Pushed again, same result. Now, I was kind of pissed because ONLY 4 MINUTES UNTIL WE HAVE TO LEAVE. So, I pushed down (angrily) on the lid with all of my mighty (and anger.)
If you are a person with any common sense, you’re probably thinking “not a good idea!” And you would be right because all of a sudden, I heard a pop and next thing you know, there was glass everywhere.
And also, blood. Lots of blood because I sliced the shit out of my finger and also my palm.
I ran to the bathroom as I shouted at the kids not to walk in the kitchen area without shoes on.
I couldn’t get the bleeding to stop, but I had to get out of the door, so I wrapped 3 bandages around my finger tip as tightly as I could. I grabbed G’s backpack. “Come on, baby! We’ve got to go now! You’re going to miss your bus!” She took her backpack from me. She looked very concerned. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “Mommy! Your finger is bleeding all over my backpack! I’m so sorry you’re hurt!” She was right. Blood was oozing from the tip of my finger. I ran back to the bathroom to grab some toilet paper to prevent the blood from dripping. I threw the front door open with a wad of blood drenched toilet paper stuck to the top of my finger. “Let’s gooooooooo!” I shouted.
And as we ran up the driveway, the bus drove past our house.
So, how was YOUR morning? I’m guessing it was so much better than mine because you are not a procrastinator who pushes down forcefully on glass objects.
The One Where I Interview My Boys About Texting.
This is sponsored content from BlogHer and LG Text Ed
Earlier this week I interviewed my boys using questions that readers left in my previous LG post (thank you, readers. You are wonderful.) My boys were excited to take part in this interview. I did not have to force them, in fact, they kept asking me “when are we doing our interviews, Mom?” I was relieved at their answers and yes, I believe that they were answering honestly. I can’t say I particularly enjoyed the part where I got called out by my son, but yay, honesty!
I feel like I need to mention that I did not watch the videos–the sound of my speaking voice makes me cringe (Also? There is a reason I do not do interviews for a living.)– but I do hope that YOU watch and that you enjoy the conversation I had with my boys.
Because this topic is so important for our kids and their futures, BlogHer really wants to get the conversation about texting, sexting and safety going – both with our kids and among parents. It will match LG’s donation of .50 to dosomething.org for every comment on this post.
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I know it’s real because I can feel it.
It’s painful. It’s heavy. It drowns out the sunlight.
I’ve taken the classes. I’ve spoken with therapists and psychiatrists. I’ve taken the drugs. I recognize when it’s happening.
Engraved deep in my mind are feelings of unworthiness. I don’t believe that that I am good at anything or worthy of much- including love, friendship or success. I’m the outcast, the stupid girl who didn’t go to college, who is too bogged down with fears and insecurities to ever amount to anything.
Most days I can fight those feelings, but on days like today- I can’t. I can’t fight them.
So, I get quiet. I isolate myself. I get angry. I get sad. I get sleepy. I cry.
I allow myself to sit with the pain and loneliness, hoping that tomorrow it gets better. It almost always gets better.
There’s No Crying In Tree Decorating (is a LIE!)
Last night was Tree Decorating Night.
The fantasy went like this: We would eat a delicious sirloin steak dinner. After we finished our dinner, the kids would clear the dinner table while I loaded the dishwasher while Christmas music played in the background. Everyone would be smiling and happy because soon we would be eating freshly baked cookies while sipping on hot chocolate while dancing around the Christmas tree that we would be decorating with the most beautiful ornaments!
The reality went like this: I was crying in the first 5 minutes because the red beads were not spaced properly and proper spacing IS EVERYTHING! (Also- see: PMS) The Teenager sat on his butt, making comments like “next year I won’t have to do this because I’ll be 18 and probably won’t even be living here.” G and The Middle Child argued over stupid things like “why does HE always get to put up the big ornaments?”
It wasn’t ALL bad. There were some wonderful moments. When we weren’t arguing/crying/almost breaking each other’s phones– we were laughing, sometimes until we cried and/or farted. We sang Christmas songs. We talked about our favorite Christmas memories.
However, the Christmas Joy Jesus Is The Reason For The Season Silent Night Peace On Earth moments didn’t last for long. By the end of the night, the kids were fighting over a blinking red nose while I took pictures with one hand and ate lots of cookies with the other hand.
JOY TO THE WORLD!
So, the Decorating of The Tree didn’t go quite as I had planned (and our tree looks like a-s-s) but no one killed anyone and we still all love each other, so I say SUCCESS! Also? damn, the cookies were GREAT. All 7 of them. (Just kidding. I only ate 5.)
So I Guess That Settles That?
G asked for a particularly expensive gift for Christmas.
I explained to her that if that was really what she wanted, she most likely would not get anything else because even Santa is on a budget, child. I could tell by the look on her face, she was not happy about this news because there are so many things that she wants!
“How about you and daddy just go ahead and buy me The Expensive Gift that way Santa can bring me all of the other things that I want.”
Before I could respond, she added “And if you and daddy don’t have enough money, then you should just go sit down and start working as fast as you can to make as much money as you can to buy it for me.”
And then she turned her back on me and walked away.
Highlight of My Weekend: When Hailey Met Gabby
This weekend my daughter met Jenny’s daughter. It was as precious as you can imagine. They said hello, gave each other a hug and then Gabby was all “does your mommy have a blog?” And Hailey was all “Yes, my mommy is The Bloggess. ” And Gabby was all “No way! You’re so lucky!” And then I was all “hey, I may not have 70,000 followers on twitter, but Justin Bieber follows me! Who’s your mommy now, Gabby?”
Some parts of that story are quite possibly not true.
In all seriousness, Jenny is one of my dearest friends and it was a wonderful surprise to see her this weekend. It was even more wonderful that our daughter’s got to meet one another (at The Happiest Place on Earth!) and talk about important things like “Space Mountain” and “The Chipmunks.”
We are both very scared of the stories these two are going to have to tell about us on their blogs some day.
The Second Best Part Was When His Sister Shouted “Hey! That’s My Brother! HE’S MY BROTHER!”
After years of me encouraging (possibly also? Nagging.) My First Baby finally put his fears and insecurities aside and tried out for a school play.
He got the part.
He’s been practicing every day- learning his lines, perfecting his expressions. All of those things that actors need to do to get ready for a performance.
Last night, he put on his costume (that I had to pay for out of my own pocket, damn you The Economy!) took a deep breath and said “see you there, Mom!”
I kissed him on the cheek and wished him luck.
When he walked out on stage, I could see his nerves– he was unsure of himself and of his lines. But as he went on, he became more comfortable, more confident.
It was wonderful watching him up there, enjoying himself and all of his hard work. I was so proud of him.
And I could tell by the smile on his face when we greeted him after the show that he was proud of himself. That was the best part for me, really.
This Is Pretty Much Exactly Like Oprah’s Favorite Things.
**And the winner is**
Ambrosia. 🙂
(check your email, lady)
(Disclaimer: This item was not given to me for a giveaway, I will purchase with my own money.)
There is a perfume that I love so very much.
I get compliments every single time I wear it. Usually, people will say something like “Something smells so good. What is it? Is it cookies? Is it caramel? Mmmm.”
And I hate to be all “it’s me!” But, I know it’s my perfume, so I’ll smile and say something like “I think it’s my perfume” and I’ll let the hot guy, err, I mean precious old lady smell my wrist and he..I mean SHE! will be like “Oh, yeah, that’s it. Yum.”
Last week, I was going to give away a bottle of My Favorite Perfume, but then I noticed that Metalia was giving away a bottle of perfume on her blog and so of course, I had to email her right away because HOW WEIRD IS THAT?
Subject line: This is so crazy!
So, there is a perfume that I love so much and today I was buying a new one on sephora and I was all “I’m going to give a bottle of this away on my blog!” and I wrote a post about how I get compliments every where I go with this perfume and I put it in draft. Fast forward to RIGHT NOW, when I went to your blog and was all OHASHAHHADSHFALHDLHA;LDHFALKHS;HA;LSA NO EFFING WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m totally tripping out about this because I swear on everything in my life that I had no idea you were doing a perfume giveaway.
THIS SHIT IS SMANGING*
Luckily she is super cool and was all “do the giveaway anyway! We are both awesome perfume gifters!” So, I’m going to do the giveaway EVEN THOUGH she thought of it first. That kind of makes me an asshole, but I have her blessing!
All you have to do to enter is leave a comment on this post and I will choose a winner at random to win a bottle of Pink Sugar by Auqolina.
I’ll close the comments on Sunday, December 5th and announce the winner on Monday.
Good luck!
Comments Closed. Will choose a winner soon. 🙂
The Lloyd
Today I dropped my oldest son off at the barber shop so he could get a hair cut. He wasn’t happy about it cutting it, but he has a starring role in a school play tomorrow and so he had to do it. When I dropped him off, I told him to ask for a “trim only.”
Um, either my son doesn’t know how to communicate the idea of “just a trim” or the barber didn’t understand English. Because, you guys, THIS happened.
Luckily, I’ve raised a son who can laugh about things like this. We’ve been laughing about it all night. He MAY not find it as funny in the morning when he has to go to school, but for now, Oh, how we laugh!
(For the record, the photo was his idea. Because my kid is awesome.)