Please send hate mail to

SJ asked The World Wide Web if she should circumsize her potentially male baby.
Oh my GOD.
The Militants came out and are saying things like ““cutting off your baby’s eyelids because you think it looks better that way” and “mutilate” and “DON’T DO IT YOUR BOY WILL HATE YOU YOU PENIS MUTILATOR!!”
I made that one up, sort of.
But again… OH MY GOD.
We decided right away that we would have our boys snipped.
Yeah, that’s right, I mutilated my children. I AM A PENIS MUTILATOR! HOW CAN YOU STAND ME, INTERNET?
I understand being passionate about issues. I used to be an anti abortion advocate. I would protest, I would sit on the curb of abortion clinic driveways and pray for the babies that were going to be sucked into a sink that day. I would cry for the women who were going to be laying in a bed bleeding that night, crying for the “blob of tissue” they just had sucked out of their body. I would carry petitions to stop the murder of unborn babies and ask people to join me in the fight.
Then I grew up and I realized that it is not my place to tell other people what they should do. That people will make the decisions that they make and they have reasons for making them. I’ll never agree with abortion, you’ll never convince me it’s NOT the ending of a life, but I’ll never feel it’s my place to tell another woman what she should do with her body. It’s not my place to judge.
So, I understand people feeling so strongly about something that they feel the need to say things like “MUTILATE THE PENIS” or “WHY STOP THERE? WHY NOT CUT OF THE BABY’S EYELIDS TOO?” to make their point, but what’s with the overdramatics when it comes to FORESKIN? (yes, I know there are risks involved, but as parents, you consider the risks and you make the choice that YOU FEEL is the best one.)
It’s almost worse then the breastfeeding militants. “If you do not breastfeed your baby, your baby will BE SKINNY AND UGLY AND SICK ALL OF THE TIME AND IF YOU LOVED YOU BABY HOW COULD YOU STICK THAT BOTTLE IN THEIR MOUTH?”
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a breastfeeding advocate, but I don’t get trying to SCARE women or intimidate them into doing it.
Nor do I get people trying to scare people into not clipping their potentially male baby’s penis.

44 thoughts on “Please send hate mail to

  1. ben

    Heh. Militants are everywhere, it seems.
    I’m a devotee of Always Wear a Seat Belt, seeing as how one saved my life. But you don’t see me screaming and pitching a fit if I see someone without their seat belt on.
    Grownups should be allowed to make their own decisions, methinks.

  2. NinaKaye

    I didn’t have a boy so I didn’t have to decide about circumsision, but I’m 100% certain I would have been FOR it.
    Also, I didn’t breastfeed. I might as well have a big target on my head since I’m a pro-circumsision/non-breastfeeder. hehe
    I’m a cruel, cruel mommy.

  3. melly

    Okay, seriously, if she read this: I surveyed a lot of men and women on this topic when I found out that I was having a boy. Most men who were snipped, said they wished that they hadn’t been. Granted, many of them felt that way because they feel it affected their size, but overwhelmingly, men wanted to have made that decision for themselves.
    Women, however, said that aesthetically, they preferred them to be snipped. This was something that made me actually consider circumcising Matt, but in the end decided that it wasn’t enough.

  4. gc

    What bothers me is that arguments seem to be coming from an aesthetic point of view. What about the health reasons for or against circumcision?
    Oh, and yes, I didn’t even blink twice when they asked me if my son was to be circumcised.

  5. Y

    We did it because Tony wanted them to be, because, well, I can’t tell you why without his permission, but he was like “they are getting snipped!”
    I’m not saying people should or shouldn’t. There are valid points on both sides of the issue, but the overdramatics are KILLING ME.

  6. Joelle

    There was recently a Penn & Teller: Bullshit! on this very topic. Like… two weeks ago, I think.
    Aesthetically, I’ve preferred snipped in my penis encounters. But, you know… I’ve also heard that many men wish they hadn’t been.
    So, my opinion is… whatever tugs your chain, so to speak. As a parent, it’s your choice and your right. No, the babies don’t have a voice, but that’s why it has parents… do to what they think is best for their child.

  7. Laura

    This is another one of those issues where I wonder why people can’t just let it go and let people parent their children the way they see fit. It seems that often, the people who are against circumcision and who speak out sharply against it are the same people who are very pro-AP and speak out strongly against formula feeding or vaccinations or whatever.
    I have friends who breastfed until their kids were three, whose kids have never seen the inside of a crib and have never had Tylenol. Although their views are greatly different from mine (we go through a can of formula every four days and our kids sleep in their cribs, way down the hall from us, where we drug them to sleep with Tylenol regularly – heh) we still have a lot in common and our kids have a great time playing together. We’re friends and respect each other because we know that we’re all just doing what we feel is the best thing for our families, y’know? I don’t understand why people attack one another for personal decisions like these. Why not attack people who don’t give a shit about their kids and let them ride around in the car without seatbelts?
    Also, for what it’s worth, one of my husband’s half brothers is uncircumcised. His younger brother IS circumcised. Evidently their dad just “couldn’t DO that to his first born son!!” But, uh, had no problem doing it to the son who came around a couple of years later. And BOTH boys were unhappy about it growing up because they looked different from each other. ::shrug::

  8. kristal

    I didn’t have my boys circumcised. I didn’t even think about it one way or the other. With the first, I asked Mike and he shrugged. Whatever. I told the nurse not to worry about it… the other two I figured could be like their brother.
    Totally off subject, have you seen this?
    I can’t stop playing it. I wonder where Tom stands on the snip issue?

  9. Jessica

    My boys are snipped (as is my husband, sSSHHH! I dont know if he wants the internet knowing!). We didn’t do it because of looks. We did it because we felt medically that it was the best way to go. But Matthew’s took about a week to finish with the method they chose was putting a ring around it and through the week it did not once hurt him during the process. I don’t see a problem either way. Just as I don’t criticise people who don’t even try to breastfeed and choose to formula feed. The one thing I don’t go lax on is car seat usage. I feel that is mandatory for the child’s safety. Until they are old enough to choose for themselves they should have to be kept safe. I hate that people attack others over the very small issues…

  10. Stacey

    I’m surprised the comments haven’t gotten nasty like almost every breastfeeding debate I’ve seen. People seem to be fanatical about these types of things.
    Personally, I don’t care what a penis looks like and I think circumcision is mostly a western thing, but then again I’m a pinko commie Canadian, we’re weird like that. Parents should do what they see fit.

  11. Stacey

    Kristal, I think Tom Cruise believes the aliens come and take baby boys foreskins away. After the parents pay them $200,000 dollars.

  12. Michelle

    To each their own, I say. It’s just like the breast vs. bottle debate- it brings out the worst in some people. Both of my boys are circumcised. It was a mutual decision between my husband and I. That said, I wouldn’t do it again because both boys had a botched circ that required a “revision of circumcision”. WTF? What is the luck of that? lol That’s a rarity by the way, just another example of my luck. 😉
    Now let’s be honest here a minute, shall we? Aren’t cut penises more attractive to look at anyway? And I know it isn’t about physical beauty so don’t get all huffy- I’m just sayin’ is all…

  13. angie

    Hi, my name is Angie and I am a penis mutilator, too. I also crib sleep, bottle feed with formula and all the other things that get people all huffy. But I don’t apologize for any of it or let anyone talk down to me because of it. Individual parenting decisions and no one elses business.
    Y, the militants crack me up. If they would just take care of their own children and not worry about everyone else…can’t we all just get along? 🙂

  14. MrsG

    Genuine and I decided to snip the boys because he is snipped and we wanted them to look the same and not have any questions as to why they were different. When it came down to it we decided (for our family) that this was the healthiest road to take. And come on, how many people are REALLY gonna see them???? Is it that big of a deal?

  15. a little bitchy

    someone needs to mention that penile cancer, while rare, is more common in uncircumcised males.
    Also the women who sleep with uncircumcised males are 70% more likely to develop bladder infections.
    People are morons.

  16. fl0w3r

    We actually did research on this one before we made the decision with our son. The research clearly shows that it is in the best interest. Uncircumcised penis have a greater chance for infection and transmission of STD’s. Sure the STD part isn’t something you are worried about for your baby, but definitely something to think about for the future.
    Our baby slept through his circumsision, so it must not have been that brutal, eh?

  17. Annika

    I made an active decision to not read the comments on SJ’s post. Because I just don’t think I can deal with the anti-circumcision people. (And I don’t even plan on snipping our boys, if we have any. But the killjoys are ruining it for the rest of the class.)
    As long as we’re talking about circumcision, and I saw that someone brought up that idiot Tom Cruise (I am so sick of hearing about him) which of course made me think of scientology, which in turn made me think of christian science…this is the worst sentence I’ve ever written…anyway, I can’t respect a religion that is anti-doctor and won’t go to a hospital or doctor if they’re sick but gets their sons circumcised after having the baby at a hospital. That has nothing to do with anything, really. I’m just babbling.

  18. dani

    If I ever have a boy, which isn’t really in the realm of possibility, I would not snip. I don’t think that it is bad to snip, i just think that it is something that a man should make the decision on himself. I’d actually *like* unsnipped if they are taken care of. My fiance is cut but they left alot of extra (yay for him) and it really does make a difference sex wise.

  19. Philip

    Hey, if you ask the world a question that you know will bring in extremists…you get what you ask for: opinions from all over the spectrum.

  20. Mieke

    Wow, you aren’t kidding, fingers are flying across the keyboard over there at SJ’s place. SJ you must be loving this. It’s fun to watch the hysteria and spinning going on. All the sound and fury signifying nothing – because in the end, in the quiet after your pup is born there is only you. Your family and you’ll do what feels right for you.

  21. girl

    alright, I have a stupid question. how in the hell does getting foreskin snipped affect the size of the penis? am I the only one that doesn’t understand that?

  22. Y

    Girl, I would love to answer that, but I am “uninformed” and “not as smart as people who DO NOT MUTILATE COCKS”
    Go over to Sj’s and ask “brandi”. She’s the foreskin expert.

  23. melly

    girl – it may add to girth, but not much. Not anything that I think would make a noticeable difference at least in terms of how it feels.
    A lot of men that I talked to said that they felt they would have been bigger had they not been circumsized, but I think that had a lot to do with a misunderstanding of what foreskin is.
    I got a lot of those comments, though.

  24. Heatheranne

    I’m a loser all the way around. I had my son snipped AND I bottle fed him.
    Sometimes I think people get passionate over a cause just to have some drama to bitch about.

  25. jenny

    ok…it’s like getting an episotomy, you’re cutting skin to make a baby come out easier. wonder how many people are against that. and you do that to a baby for sanitary reasons. it’s a LOT easier to wipe clean that one that’s not cut. am i not right on that? some people are stupid. and like the baby is going to remember having his penis cut. they give it a little shot of numbing crap before they do it. here anyway. good grief.

  26. sphinxy

    I’m going to leave that up to my husband. Since I have the option of having him around, that is the ONE responsibility I am happy to not be in charge of.

  27. halloweenlover

    hee hee. I noticed that too. I didn’t want to touch that post at all, just in case it threw some trolls my way.
    More definitive proof that SJ just loves for people to be mean mean mean and crazy.
    Also, my hubs is jewish, so not much decision-making on our part : )

  28. carson

    All I can do is sit here and think of the google searches that will bring people to this blog entry.
    My son is not snipped. The research that we read was pretty mixed. No medical professional we talked to recommended it. But your baby’s penis is his (and therefore your) business, that’s my stand on the issue.

  29. brilly

    I’m very interested in the cultural side of circumcision. Australian Aboriginals and Islanders (Tongans, Samoans) etc circumcise their boys when they are pre-teens. It’s a rite of passage into manhood.
    Do American Indians circumcise their boys? I know could Google it but I’d rather ask.
    The comments at SJs started out pretty well. I found it interesting that it’s still so popular.
    I’m also amazed that viewings are common when someone dies 🙂

  30. gojou

    I understand being passionate about issues. I used to be an anti abortion advocate. I would protest, I would sit on the curb of abortion clinic driveways and pray for the babies that were going to be sucked into a sink that day. I would cry for the women who were going to be laying in a bed bleeding that night, crying for the “blob of tissue” they just had sucked out of their body. I would carry petitions to stop the murder of unborn babies and ask people to join me in the fight.

    Then I grew up and I realized that it is not my place to tell other people what they should do. That people will make the decisions that they make and they have reasons for making them. I’ll never agree with abortion, you’ll never convince me it’s NOT the ending of a life, but I’ll never feel it’s my place to tell another woman what she should do with her body. It’s not my place to judge.

    Y, how you can write something so wise and still fail to believe that you totally have your shit together, I’ll never understand.

  31. Moxie

    I have yet to head over to SJ to see the hype but I think this is a reflection of our society/goverment right now. People seem to have forgotten we are supposed to be able to make our own decisions without being prosecuted and harassed. Censorship is at an all time high. It seems we are no longer capable of thinking for ourselves we must follow those with the loudest voices and the most power.
    Sorry kind of off on a tangent it is just so frustrating the way people feel they need to make decisions for the rest of the world without respect to what is right for that individual or family.
    Sometimes as a parent who left her son uncut I feel out of step with the rest of society. But then again for most of my life I have been out of step so it’s nothing new. But I do worry for my son because regardless what they say in my experience uncircumcised is not the norm. Maybe 80/20 in this follow the leader small conservative town I live in now. But as always my next thought is F#!& them who gives a shit. If they aren’t open minded I don’t want my son to know or like them anyways.
    Ugh, being a parent makes me neurotic. Wonderful thread btw, it is encouraging to know there are others out there who can recognize the value of respect for other people’s opinions without feeling threatened.

  32. Mamacita

    We didn’t snip Zappa but the hospital charged us for a circumcision anyway. It was ‘standard.’ We challenged it but the hospital administration said that the only way they would believe us was for us to bring the baby in and show them the penis. I refused, and they refused to take the charge off the bill. Since our insurance covered it we let it go. Stupid hospital administrators.
    I figured it was none of their business, and it’s nobody else’s business either. Jeepers, people are nosy.

  33. chasmyn

    I’m with you on the respecting of others choices. People get so passionate about their beliefs they seem to forget that there are allowed to be other viewpoints out there. It can be really frustrating no matter which side a person falls on.

  34. cee

    You hit the nail on the head…. (heh, no pun intended)… that’s exactly it…. it’s a personal choice to do or not to do! Thank goodness we live the good ol’ U S of A and we can have the choice to make. Don’t the nutjobs who get all melodramatic and vehement get it??? It’s not for them to decide for someone else… sheesh! heh heh Nice one!

  35. Jack's Raging Mommy

    I came over from SJ’s site, I kept seeing your name in the comments (and finally got around to reading the resonses after mine in the snip post0 holy god) and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed what you write. I decided to post because not only do you hate them as I do, you also call them militants. To quote Hooper X “Those bitches are scary”
    rock on my sister 😉

  36. Mari

    I had both my sons circed. I then fried their foreskin in lard and ate them with salsa. It’s a family tradition, and f*ck anyone who has something to say about it. I hate people like that. But then again, if it weren’t for people like that, people like us wouldn’t have any material to laugh at every day.

Comments are closed.