Joy Unexpected

When I first found out I was pregnant with Gabby, I cried. Ok, I FREAKED OUT, fell on the bathroom floor and sobbed. At that moment, I actually said, outloud “This is the worst thing that could happen to me!”
I called my husband, and I cried.
I called my mom, and I cried.
I called my neighbor, and I cried.
I cried for 2 weeks.
I was talking to a woman shortly after I found out the baby I was carrying was a girl. At this point in the pregnancy, I was actually ok with it and was hoping for the best, but I told her the story of “The Day I Found Out” and how I had so much guilt about it. She told me that she had found herself in the exact same situation 12 years earlier. She had two older boys and found out she was unexpectedly pregnant.
Like me, she cried.
Then she looked at me and said “One day, you’ll look at your daughter and you’ll ask yourself ‘how did I ever live without her?.'”
Today, as I watched my daughter fall asleep while wearing her santa hat, I was taken by her beauty, overwhelmed with love and “It” happened. I leaned close to her and I said, outloud, “How did I ever live without you, sweet girl?”
And I cried.

12 thoughts on “Joy Unexpected

  1. Julianna

    And here I sit, crying because I cannot have children. I tried and tried and tried naturally and never got a late period that offered promise. I underwent multiple surgeries and artificial inseminations to find only one line on a pregnancy test. So far, I have had two failed IVF’s at Stanford University and am trying desperately to talk my husband into doling out another $30,000.00 in the hopes of having a baby, our baby – a precious being that I can spend my life embracing. I cannot imagine that my 3 year marriage has become such a heartbreak.
    Your children are precious. Embrace that.

  2. geeky

    i’m the only girl in my family (two brothers), and my mom always tells me she would have lost her mind without me. i’m sure you’ll only love her more each day 🙂

  3. Darleen

    Even in the best of circumstances, finding out you’re pregnant is downright scary.
    1986, my father almost died..abdominal aortic anuerysm… almost five inches of aorta just busted like an old tire, dumping every quart of blood into his belly…he hit the ER with blood pressure of 60 over NOTHING. Docs gave him a 25% chance of surviving… I held it together in the waiting room for my mom and sister, excused myself to the bathroom, where I bawled and kneeled on the floor begging God to bring my dad through.
    I shouldn’t have gotten pregnant. I’m as regular as clockwork and was real good with my birth control..but totally out of cycle within a couple of months of my dad’s going into the hospital (and he was there 6 1/2 months) I was pregnant.
    I cried…but I came to realize it was God’s answer to my prayer. The continuing promise of life.
    And Boo and my dad have always been close.

  4. Wendy

    Are you my twin? Same story. 2 boys (3 and 5 at the time) when I found out I was pregnant as well. I was outside pushing my youngest on the swing when a voice in my head said “YOU’RE PREGNANT!!”. WTF?!?! But my cycles are always irregular so I ran to the store and sure enough.
    I thought I was going to die. I thought my husband was going to kill me. Not literally, but you know what I mean. We stressed about it for months. And then she came.
    She is our princess, our sunshine (as the boys fight ALL THE TIME) and we can’t imagine life without her. She was meant to be.

  5. Tracy

    I’ve heard this is true with the exception of years 13-19. (or so says my mother)
    As it stands right now, Kelsey will be 11 next month, and I have no idea how I ever lived before her. I assume I’d probably feel the same about a son, if she’d been a boy…but I’ll have no way of knowing that!

  6. dawn

    I can totally understand that feeling. I look at my girls daily and think the same thing and wonder what will I do when they move out?? They are and have always been my life!
    That first pic of Gabby with the Santa hat is absolutely priceless!!! I would have that one blown up, matted and framed. Such an adorable age, but aren’t they all in their own way. Even if you do want to kil them sometimes!! lol.
    Merry Chirstmas!

  7. mrc

    Okay y, this the fifth time you made me cry at work. I hope to improve next year. The picture of your kids is so beautiful and something to be cherished, especially during your bad moments in life, for kids are truly joy unexpected.

  8. justme

    same thing happened to me. Except I have two girls they were 2 and 6 when I found out. Two of my close friends new right away. Bawled like a kid. I didn’t even tell my husband for a month lol. I thought for sure he would just go over the deep end with me! Got over it and found out the baby was a boy. Of course I had already told my husband, and he was all happy and giddy I wanted to smack him! Nerves,stress and of course hormones.Whadaya gonna do hey?

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