What FORTY looks like.


Today, the man I married when I was only NINETEEN years old, turned 40.
Forty.
FOR-TAY.
I still remember when he had hair on the upper part of his head and when we used to “do it” like, 5 times a day (seriously. Five.)
I also remember when he had glasses as big as God.

(p.s. this is the best line ever uttered at a family gathering in regards to the above picture… “Appearing, one night only at the Improv, Antonio the magician. Watch him burn an entire ant hill in less than 10 minutes with his glasses.”)
Here we are, almost 15 years later. He’s balding, I’m fat. How the time flies. It’s crazy. I can’t believe I’m married to a FORTY YEAR OLD MAN and that we have a ONE YEAR OLD BABY GIRL. Just call him Frank Gifford. HA! HA! HA! That was a good one.
Happy Birthday, Fukktonie!! My birthday wish for you is that you stop with the driveby farts that smell like death and disease and that you outlive me because I can not even imagine living in this world without you in it. (But seriously, stop with the farts.)

22 thoughts on “What FORTY looks like.”

  4. cindy

    Y, you are seriously THE FUNNIEST. I almost pee-ed. OK, maybe I DID pee a little bit but what are you going to do?
    Oh, and Hapy Birthday Tony.

  9. momof2

    Holy crap! Married 14 years. Still in love. Incredible.
    You’re really blessed, lady! But you know that already. Happy birthday to your hubby!

  15. Jenny

    Happy 40th, Tony!
    Y, damn woman. I’m gasping for air after laughing for a good five minutes. (Seriously. Five.)
    I’m so digging out a photo of my scrawny husband in his giant glasses on his next birthday. Why did they make those damn glasses so big? Did they charge by the pound?

  20. melly

    Tell Tony that I took this great new set where I’m covered in tabasco sauce and I’m sneezing like crazy, so snot is dripping down my heaving breasts.

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