I need a title for this post.

He can't help it. He likes me. A lot.
Last month I treated myself to a girls night out for my birthday. I went with Lena and Jodi (who does not have a blog) to see my friend Jay perform at the Improv. The night started out kind of rough. For instance, we went to the Yard House to have a drink or two before the show and the hostess was all “It’s a 45 minute wait.” So we were all “we’ll just sit at the bar.” And she was all “There aren’t any tables available at the bar, BUT! You can go to the lounge in the back. There are sofas there you can sit on.” And Lena goes “do you serve there?” And the hostess was all “Yes. We do.” So on our way there, we stop a waiter and ask him if we’re going the right way. “We’re looking for the sofas?” I say. “Yes, they’re at the VERY back.” as he points to the verrrrry back. We get there and I see a bench right next to people who are eating and turn to Lena.
“Is this it?” I ask.
“No. They said sofas. In the back.”
But I didn’t SEE any sofas. So Jodi sees a door that goes outside and says “they must be out here.” And I’m like “but, that’s an alley. I mean, HELLO? There’s a bike chained to a tree?” And Lena’s all “but they said in the very back!” So, we walk out the door, to the alley (where there is a bike chained to a tree, you guys.) And we see some wicker sofas, stacked on top of each other, WITH THE CUSHIONS STACKED ON TOP OF THE SOFAS.
We had been mislead! And humiliated!
After we finished being outraged about that, we walked to a little mexican place down the street. I wasn’t really hungry, I mostly just wanted a glass of wine. So I had a great idea. “Let’s just order appetizers and wine!”
Lena and Jodi agreed.
I chose the appetizer.
“We’ll have the spinach dip and chips.”
Lena and Jodi were a liiiiiittle bit on the “WTF” fence about spinach dip at a mexican restaurant. But they went along with it.
Until the spinach dip was served.
basically, they had put spinach in a bowl with sour cream and mixed it. It was AWFUL.
Lena tried to turn things around by talking about fun and exciting things, like “diagnosing her rash.” And I tried to get the party started by talking about things like “not getting diabetes.” Oh, and also? “googling goiters.” And my friend Jodi, who had never been out with the 2 of us together, was like “What just happened to my life here?”
We left that restaurant feeling a little… hungry? Ashamed? Ready for a good laugh? (Not at our expense?)
Jay didn’t disappoint. The show was GREAT. But the best part of his act (Besides the part where he thanked me for coming? And then MENTIONED MY BLOG? AND TOLD PEOPLE TO READ MY BLOG?) was the stuff he did about kids. He told hilarious stories about his son that were completely familiar and true to my experience with kids.
He told us he was writing a book.
A book about kids and what weird (but wonderful) creatures they are.
I tell you this because last night, he posted this on twitter:
I immediately thought of Stefanie. She once needed a title for her book, asked her readers for suggestions and they came through for her. So, I responded with the following.
(Not sure that the *wink* was entirely necessary. But, it’s in the past. I’m letting it go.)
And so, here I am, posting this on my blog, asking if you want to help Jay name his book. Leave comments here and I’ll send him the link to this post.

37 thoughts on “I need a title for this post.

  1. Marcy

    How about ” MOHR ON KIDS”
    If he uses this.. I am totally gonna crap ..
    (And expect some really great stuff in return llike pointing readers to MY BLOG!!)
    ; )

  2. Cristie

    I have no title because the thought of Jay Mohr makes my brain all mushy. I know he’s now just a middle-aged-slightly soft dad but he’s so wickedly funny that I’ve had a crush for quite some time.
    I love that he’s simply “your friend Jay” you know, like it’s just regular Jay.
    Just for the sake of assistance, I think Marcy’s “Mohr on Kids” is pretty genius.;)

  3. Kathy from NJ

    The Mohr the Merrier
    But I really love Shannon’s entry better and Rebecca is correct, he already gave it a title.

  4. LoLa

    “Weird Kid Syndrome”
    btw, I love this post. Especially when you finally give up and sit down at the restaurant and thrill each other with diabetes and rash talk.

  5. Jessica

    Kids: Take a Stand Comedy
    Boogers and Deception: Why A Stand-up Comedian and Movie Star Leaves a Life of Glamor and Prestige to Spend Sleepless Nights with Children from Planet Uterus
    Kids Aren’t Funny; I’m Just Hysterical (that’s kind of Erma Bombeckish though)
    this is harder than I thought it would be…. tell Jay he’s out of luck with me. 🙂 But I do love him. Why is he so sexy?

  6. Mamapajama

    “Mohr than I expected”
    “Children from Uranus” (A whole subtext play on men from mars, women from venus thing. As well as kids being, well, a pain in the ass, you know?)
    Love Jay’s show on TV, he’s a funny dude!

  7. Lynn

    Spinach in a Mexican restaurant. Umph. I’ve been there….wondered about it….trusted friends….and then was horrified. It’s just not right. Cheese dip. Always cheese dip at a Mexican place.
    I just wish I could have warned you.

  8. Nancy R

    Typing the first thing that comes to mind WHILE eating more candy corn than legal (while hiding, because they’re not peanut-safe for the youngest) might not be the best route to take, but there you go…my creative genius.
    Jay is brilliant in his role on a Family Guy episode…or maybe more than one? I watch it, but then don’t always watch the credits.

  9. Amira @ DefineMature.com

    More with Mohr
    Ugh, that was terrible, but it was the first that came to mind, lol
    BUT, what I wanted to say was that you never get spinach dip at a mexican restaurant!!
    It’s like against Mexican food law or something. Plus it kind of like expecting a Chinese joint to make the best hamburgers; it’s just not their specialty.
    Like Lynn said, always stick with the cheese dip -the safe default.

  10. Abbey Parker

    Mohr Realities Dr Spock didn’t tell you about raising children.
    Mohr about these strange things called children.
    Silly antidotes from kids… Mohr then meets the eye.
    Love You Jay Mohr!!! (And Yvonne!!!)

  11. Lena

    How about Mohr Justin Please?
    I have almost as many nightmares about that spinach dip as I do about the goiters you Googled on your phone that night.

  12. Suzanne

    Going with the theme:
    ” Mohr Than I Expected”
    ” My Kids are Mohr than Crazy.”
    “Mohr, Daddy! Mohr!”

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