I’m Available For Parties!

On Tuesday I had to go see an ophthalmologist.
(There is something weird happening in my right eye that leads to headaches that my doctor feels I need to have checked out. CT Scan next month. FUN!)
He did some weird things to my eyes that didn’t hurt at all, but totally freaked me out (numbing the top layer of my eye, what?) When he was finished, he didn’t see anything wrong with my eye, but wanted to do a few more tests to be sure. He had to go get the nurse, so he did something kind of dangerous.
He left me alone in the room with his computer. The computer that had my medical history. As soon as he left, I got up to look.
Right there on the screen was my medical history.
The thing that stood out right away was something titled “Problem List.”
You guys.
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The thing is– that’s just a snippet of the list! (Look at the scroll button! So much scrolling!) I wasn’t brave enough to scroll. Too afraid of a) getting busted by the doctor for playing on his computer b) finding out new things that I didn’t know was wrong with me!
And one of them is GERD.
I’m never telling my doctor about the peeing when coughing. I don’t need to see that on the list.
This is why my doctor calls me “a fun mess.” you guys.
Except, I’m pretty sure there’s nothing fun about GERD.

31 thoughts on “I’m Available For Parties!

  1. Y

    That’s a really good point, Randi.
    But still– only my doctor knows how long my Problem List really is.

  2. gabrielle

    GERD is fun to say! Gerrrrrrrrrrd. Tee hee.
    And my Aunt Flo is irregular, too! You never know when she’s going to show up- early, late, not at all. Don’t invite her to a party, she’ll never RSVP. Bitch.
    You know, I never would have considered my period funny before. (And no one else but me still does, but whatever!) Thanks, Y!

  3. Ninotchka

    You may have had all of those problems but your BP is beautiful! I recently spied on my chart (to see how much weight I’ve gained and lost over the years) and what caught my attention was my occupation: DOMESTIC HOUSEWIFE. Ummm. OK?

  4. Amie aka MammaLoves

    You totally should have screwed with him and put up a picture of the blue screen of death as a screen saver. We used to do that to each other at work when someone stupidly left their computer unattended.
    Well that or we’d photoshop their head on porn–oh yeah we were very PC in that office.

  5. Jen W.

    Popping in with a geeky viewpoint, you may actually be looking at the whole problem list! The yellow Problem box outline seems to end right before the bottom of that view… and since the scroll bar is above the Problem box it likely scrolls down to a whole assortment of other boxes… which may actually be more scary since we don’t know what those boxes are. So maybe that wasn’t helpful at all! But I tried 🙂
    (And I would have totally been terrified of getting busted looking at my chart too.)

  6. Ryles

    So at my OB office the place they do ultrasounds is down stairs and they give you your chart in a another folder with a rubber band around it and send you down stairs. I ALWAYS snuck into the bathroom with it to read it and took pictures of things so I could read them later. I was HORRIBLE.
    So my baby is 1 & a 1/2 now and I recently had to go back for something and again snuck my chart into the bathroom to read it. I read some of the personal comments he left and WOW.
    She was talking about my PPD and how unstable I was, but since I assured her I was fine that she’d just follow up. She never did, and I wasnt fine.
    I mean, I am now. but I wish she would have pushed harder.
    I know what you feel by finding that..
    I understand..
    and wow..

  7. Liz

    Everyone should know that they are legally able to obtain a hard copy of their entire medical record at any time for any reason (or NO reason) whenever you want. No questions asked 🙂 Don’t feel like you have to sneak to the bathroom and covertly skim stuff while your heart is pounding! Ask for a copy – there should be NO secrets – it’s YOUR medical record 🙂
    -new MD

  8. Louise

    This is funny… I went in to the doctor the other day and I had a LIST of things I wanted to talk to her about. There were 14 things on the list – I wanted to talk about more, but I stopped writing at 14 because I felt that I might be getting a little selfish of her time.

  9. Laura McCammon

    wow, about 99% of what is on your list is on my list, except the thyroid, that of which I actually had cancer and had removed about two years ago. I always love to see what Dr’s write but then it tends to scare the crap out of me. Your medical info and Dr’s notes shouldn’t be as hard to get as they are.

  10. Faith

    Look at that awesome blood pressure reading! That’s a nice part of the whole thing, right? I’m jealous, at least. 😀

  11. Boston Mamas

    Oh my god I love that you went snooping on his computer. Though technically, I guess it isn’t snooping because it’s YOUR medical record.
    But still.
    You frikkin’ rock.

  12. eko

    I still have not remembered what a good BP rate is – but I always know by reaction. I have been reading how all these electronic records are NOT a good thing. Yep, maybe I wear a tinfoil hat…but wow, how easily accessible this personal stuff is (or could be) There are definite positives, but scary negatives of things one has discussed privately with ones Dr. becoming known…Ah well – as long as my confessions with my priest remain private and undocumented on paper or a PC/Apple — I’ll relax a bit. You got balls — I would have peeked too, but likely not blogged about it!

  13. Dawn

    And…she’s back…I think you got your blogging mojo back. Love it.
    I have Kaiser and I can log on online to see all the wonderful things wrong with me. I think I started falling apart at 40.

  14. mouthy_broad

    i am with liz the “new MD” on this–those are your records, you can request a copy of them at any time and should feel free to read what it says. you looking at your records is one way to catch any errors. you can’t change any comments they make about you, but if for some reason a disease is listed incorrectly, you can have it corrected.
    but some people believe it should be like your IQ, you shouldn’t ever know your own. i guess some people can misunderstand or misuse the information in their records.
    and @eko–have you read about how france operates? with everyone having a card with all their medical info on it and each doctor’s office just scans your card to get all the right info. it sounds like a great system to me. many problems in medicine are because all the doctors aren’t connected, not all of them are informed properly of such things as your allergies or what drugs you are on and therefore can’t prevent interactions they way they should. it is something to think about.

  15. Emily

    Even with an impressively long problem list you still have a great blood pressure – score one for Y!

  16. Suzy Q

    Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease a/k/a long-term heartburn. Been there, had that.
    Pepcid Complete. It really works! Or, try a 14-day round of Prevacid. It’s OTC now.
    Also, I ALWAYS look at my medical records when I’m at the doctor’s office, on the computer or the actual file. Why not? They are, by law, MY records. Don’t ever feel bad about that or try to hide that you’re looking. You SHOULD read what’s in there, and any doctor who scolds you for doing that…well, that would be a former doctor to me.

  17. lettergirl

    This made me laugh so hard — also, I’m having flashbacks from growing up fundamentalist now and imagining God going high-tech at the pearly gates with my “problem list.” Scrolling. Scrolling. Scrolling.

  18. Mallory

    Ha! I can totally tell you have Kaiser for your insurance. Or maybe not and I am an ass. Here is a tip for you: if you sign up for KP.org, (if you do have Kaiser) you can see your “problem list” (which is what you’re seeing) without having to spy on your chart. They totally let you see it. Also, anyone has the right to see their entire chart, any time, by appointment. Just call medical records and set it up. It’s a very interesting thing to do, actually. lol

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