Yesterday I tried logging into MT so I could write a post about my husband creating a secret garden. (And by “secret garden” I mean he planted an entire garden and didn’t tell me about it until the garden had already produced monster size zucchini and the corn plants were as tall as the fence. Like, one day he was just all “hey, come check out my corn plants!” and I was all “corn plants? WHAT?” Then, he walked me to the side yard, and I saw corn plants and zucchini and strawberries and MOFO TOMATOES. That’s kind of weird, isn’t it? That a husband would plant a garden and not bother to tell his wife?!) Wait, what was I talking about again? Oh, right! I tried logging into my blog and couldn’t. So I went to check on my blog and nothing was there. Just a blank page. I emailed my hosting company and they were all “oh, there was an HTTP error, but we’ve fixed it. However, your site is still down.” That confused me very much because you fixed it but it’s still broken, huh? I got an email from them a few minutes later that made me cry. It had the words “compromised” “attackers” “injected” “obfuscated(!!!) and “malicious.”
My site had been hacked.
I immediately panicked. I imagined worst case scenario (losing all of my archives and every story I’ve written about my children, for my children, about my husband’s penis, Judy the Senior Citizen Stalker!) I was sent a list of instructions on how to fix it, but I’m not that smart and had absolutely no idea how to make the changes necessary.
I started to cry. Then I started freaking out on Twitter. Which is never a good idea.
The Eight people who still read this blog were all “Oh no!” And I was all “I know, right?” And then I MAY have said something super dramatic like “RIP, Joy Unexpected.”
But look! The blog is not dead! That is only because Joelle came to the rescue to save my it. She deleted files and upgraded MT and probably a bunch of other things that I do not understand. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have a friend who always makes time to help me through my blogging emergencies. She really is the best and if you ever need a new blog design, you should totally hire her.
This experience has made me realize how much this blog means to me (I kind of want to punch myself for saying that, but it’s true.) I have been neglecting this blog and the wonderful people who read it. It’s just… life, man. It’s never easy, right? And sometimes, it is downright hard. Most days, I find myself so busy I don’t have time to pee, much less time to blog. It’s crazy and it’s stressful and I’m doing my best to survive each day (one day at a time, one foot in front of the other, one milkshake followed by a glass of wine at a time and all that jazz.)
If almost losing this blog has taught me anything, it’s that I need to stop drinking milkshakes and start writing again.
I swear, the next time my husband secretly plants a garden, I’m gonna blog ThatShit immediately.

25 thoughts on “Hacked!

  1. amanda

    SOoooo happy you got the blog back… and so happy you will be back!!
    As for the hacker… cut his penis OFF! The bastard!

  2. Julie

    I am happy to be one of the eight. 😉 But dude, how do you miss a whole garden right in your yard? Hee.

  3. Heather

    I want someone to plant me a secret garden! But a pretty English garden, not a veg one. Although! I could definitely go for some garden ripe tomatoes right now. Ours are tragically behind because of the crummy weather.

  4. Kate

    I’m so glad you’re back! My day (or, :ahem: month, not that I’m saying you don’t post often enough or anything) is so much better whenever you post.

  5. ambrosialove

    So glad to hear everything is fixed! I come here not only for your new posts, but to reread old ones as well – I wish my life was just a fraction as entertaining as yours!

  6. mommabird2345

    I’m so glad your blog was saved. I really enjoy reading it and would be very sad if you stopped writing. Yay for great friends that know how to fix broken blogs!!! 🙂

  7. Carrisa

    The line “I’m outdoorsy in that I like to get drunk on porches” comes to mind. Because how else do you explain not knowing the garden was there? I’m glad your site is fixed. And how awesome that Tony just grew you all those veggies to serve at your next nacho bar party.

  8. Nancy P

    Three things in no particular order.
    1. I would be very sad if you stopped blogging.
    2. Omg but how cool is the secret gsrden?!
    3. Judy the senior citizen stalker? I missed that but is sounds intriguing

  9. Y

    Here’s the thing– our backyard is HUGE, like, a half acre or something. And there is a side yard that is fenced off and I NEVER go back there. That is where he planted it.

  10. Teri

    I am a huge fan of your blog. You are a comfort to regular moms and wives like me. Keep it up!!! Don’t let those hackers get in your way!

  11. Overflowing Brain (Katie)

    If your husband wants to come plant a secret garden or like stealthily clean my apartment or something, I’m good with that.
    And I’m glad your blog is back. I hope it stays around for a long time yet to come.

  12. ben

    I know I sound all “me too” but my blog was hacked today and it really pissed me off!!!
    Luckily tech guys restored it quickly but I still don’t have access because they won’t give me a password because apparently the information I gave them (personal stuff) doesn’t match what they have on file. Or something.
    At least the douchebag message has been deleted and my crappy little blog restored, that’s what matters, right?

  13. Judith

    I am soooooo glad you got it all sorted out!!!! Partly because I would have missed you so much if you weren’t here (I may not comment often, but I have been reading your blog for years – others come and go in my reader, but yours I keep and treasure) but mostly because I know how much it means to you. Please, please, please, keep a back-up of everything you’ve posted here! I know it either takes space on the computer, or disks filed away somewhere or even (if you’re a bit of a Luddite like me!) paper copies!!! But it is so worth the peace of mind, knowing that your precious words, pictures, laughter and tears are safe, no matter what happens here.
    Keep doing what you do so well – being you! And, if you find more time to share with us – even better! 🙂 xx

  14. MariaV

    I would be happy to see you return full time. Can you please start with the full Secret Garden story?

  15. Sarah Pearson

    Actually it’s probably nine. I’ve been reading you for years, just not sure I’ve ever commented.
    I’m so glad you got your blog back – and I think what your husband did is beautiful. I know if mine suddenly said ‘hey look, home grown vegetables that are ready for eating, surprise!’ I would kiss him 🙂

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