I can’t believe how the news of Waisty is affecting me.
I have this overwhelming guilt for not responding to the last email he sent me. I see it sitting in my inbox and it’s almost haunting me.
He was always kind to me. Very kind. And always made me laugh. Now I feel as though I didn’t appreciate the person he was the way I should have.
I feel like I let a friend down. And it’s tearing me up inside.
You know I how often say that I’m not a very good friend?
Yeah. Once again I think I can say that and know it’s true. Only this time there’s nothing I can do to make it right.

I do not know how to use my brothers blog here. I am a little stressed. Richard (Waistdog) died at 2pm this afternoon. Please help me reach his contacts and let them know. He loved you all.
I need help here dealing with his contacts.
I can’t believe he is gone. We were going to scout wood in his big red truck tomorrow.
You can post this on his blog or mail me direct.
Thanks, Bob
That is a comment left on Rick’s (Waistdog) blog. I’m so confused right now. I don’t want to believe it’s true, but… how could it not be?
If anyone knows anything, please email me. This is heartbreaking…
*update*
Sweetie. It’s true. I just got off the phone with the funeral home–they haven’t made arrangements yet, it’s pending the cornor’s report. I think my heart just keeps breaking over and over about this. I can’t believe it.
-skits

I have this picture in a frame on my entertainment center. I have always loved this picture because of the love you can clearly see between my son and his great grandmother. I think that was the saddest part of her death yesterday, watching my little boys cry as they kissed her goodbye. Ethan told me he felt sorry for his grandpa because “his mommy is dead”. He quickly comforted himself by saying “at least Granny can still watch over Grandpa”.
I know that it’s the natural cycle of life. I know she lived a full life. I know she was an amazing woman. I know that there are many wonderful memories I have with her that I can think back upon. I know that she’s at peace now. The tears I cry are not out of despair, but because I will miss her. I can’t ever sit and talk to her again. I will never hear her precious laugh again. I will never hear her tell me how much she loves my boys again. I will never watch her dance again. I will never hear her sing again. Mostly, I’m sad for my dad because no matter how old she was, no matter how full of a life she lived, no matter what, he no longer has a momma.
I’m ok. I understand how life works, but Grandma’s are precious and losing her still hurts. I know it’s not a tragedy, but it’s still a loss of something very dear.
Thank you for your kind words and know that I’m fine, just a little sad.

My Grandmother, Mercedes, died this evening. She would have been 98 years old next month.
I’m experiencing so many emotions at this moment, so I’m just going to be quiet and think of the beautiful, strong woman she was and not the weak, old, fragile women I just kissed goodbye in a hospital bed.
I love you, Granny.

I’m going through a stage. A stage of looking through old pictures and remembering the past. I love to do that once in a while. I especially love looking at pictures of my boys when they were babies. Oh, how everything was right with my world back then.
Today, I came across a picture of me and Tony. I remember the day we took it. He had come over to my parents house to visit me, and we were outside joking around. My sister had a new camera and she asked to take a picture of us. Tony grabbed me and held me and she snapped away.
I will never forget how happy I was at that very moment. Happy and completely in love. I knew already, at the young age of 18, he was the man I was going to marry. What I didn’t know were the hard times that were ahead for us. The many struggles we’d go through together. Young love, if only it could stay that way forever.
I certainly NEVER imagined a day where he couldn’t pick my ass up like that again. I don’t think he could lift up one thigh now, even if he tried with all of his might. But then again, I never imagined I’d be married to a man with a man who’s going bald. So I guess we’re even.

I just dug up $2.04 in quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies.
That is the exact amount it costs me to support my new habit.
A super sized diet coke from Mc Donalds.
The digging up of the change represents two things.
1. I am addicted to MCD’s diet coke and will do whatever necessary to get my hands on one at lunch time.
2. I am BROKE. Broke like M.C. Hammer. Broke like Willie Nelson with the tax man came a knockin’. Broke like “quit calling my house and my job, mutha fuckers, I aint got no money for you so fuck off” broke. Broke like “generic cheese isn’t that bad” broke… you get the idea.
Hopefully that won’t be the case next month, looks like my husband is going to get rehired by his old company. He’ll be making $11.00 more an hour and they will pay $379.00 of our monthy insurance rate (which is currently close to $550.00).
This will be awesome if… no I mean when it happens. Keep your fingers (and toes) crossed.

This morning, my husband said, all non chalantly, “Babe, I need some nose hair clippers.”
And I replied, all nonchalantly “I bet they have them at Target.”
When the hell did we turn into a couple of old geezers?

My husband is going to be 39 in August, me, 33 in September. Where the hell did the time go?
I remember when we used to talk about our dreams, about movies, about love… Now it’s nose hair clippers, back aches, varicose veins.

Nose hair clippers. Ugh.

The sad thing is I’ll pick up his damn nose hair clippers while I’m out buying some Preparation H for my ‘roids.

My mom just called to tell me that Granny isn’t doing well. She went into the hospital on Wednesday after falling. They called my mom this morning to tell her that Granny had a stroke and can’t eat on her own anymore.

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