I just walked down the hall and saw a little white butt, pants around the ankles standing at the toy room door. I asked in horror, “Ethan Michael, what are you doing? Why are your pants down?” He got embarrassed and hopped down the hall, to the bathroom while saying “I was taking a dump and I heard my favorite commercial and I wanted to see it really quick.”
After I was done laughing I had to tell him I didn’t ever want him to get off the pot “mid dump” ever again. You stay til you’re finished and ass is wiped, mister!
I love my kids.
Category Archives: Raising Boys
Please, no more balls.
The boys came in my room today at 6:30 in the morning. They asked if they could lay with me. I told them yes, but they had to be quiet because I was sick and I had a headache. Well, my boys can’t be quiet, as hard as they tried, they started talking and somehow a debate broke out as to who was hairier, the dog or their dad.
Well, you know what that discussion led to, right? Yep, hairy balls. An argument broke out as to whether dogs balls were hairy. Andrew said “only humans have hairy balls.” To which Ethan replied, “I’m going to go check willies balls.” Oh. my. God. I jumped up and told them I didn’t want to hear hairy balls come out of their mouths ever again, I’m tired of hearing hairy balls. And I told Ethan he was not going to go check the dogs balls.
What the hell is it about boys and balls? I swear, that’s all I hear all day. Everytime I turn around, I hear some kind of conversation about balls. If it’s not hairy balls, it’s itchy balls, or sweaty balls, or basketballs, or tennis balls or soccer balls, hard balls, soft balls, I have to scratch my balls, you hit me in the balls, My ball is flat, he won’t give me my ball back, my ball went over the fence… I can’t take it anymore. I’ve had it up to here with balls. (yes, I just held my hand way above my head) The sad thing is they never out grow it. They grow up and it’s, I need to adjust my balls, don’t leave me with blue balls, suck my balls, dude, you gotta alot of balls…
It’s all about the balls, isn’t it boys?
That’s my boy!
I was laying on the couch watching the Laker game with Tony. The boys were in the toy room playing a new video game and they called us over to show us something on the game. We walked in as they were typing their names in. Andrew types his in first. A-N-D-R-E-W. Now it’s Ethans turn. He types B-I-G-A-S-S. He instantly turned around to see our reaction. I had to run out of the room so I didn’t laugh in front of him and Tony scolded him. “Ethan Michael, A-S-S is a bad word and we don’t say it.” “But I didn’t say it, I spelled it.” ha!!! Tony had no reply and I was in the kitchen laughing my ass off. The kid is 5 years old and he spelled big ass. Once again, I’m so proud.
*sniff*
This morning Andrew woke up to find $5.00 from the toof fairy. Ethan saw it and started to cry. I asked him why he was crying, he said “because Andrew has more dollars than me.”
I sat down next to him and explained that’s how life works and he would be getting visits from the tooth fairy very soon. As I was talking, Andrew walked over, handed Ethan a dollar bill and said “here you go, Ethan, you can have one.” Ethan got the biggest smile on his face and thanked his brother.
I grabbed Andrew and hugged him and told him he just made me very happy. Then, I turned to Ethan and asked if he knew why his brother gave him the dollar.
“Because he loves me, mommy and wants me to be happy.”
That made my day.
Until they broke out in a fist fight over breakfast.
brothers.
my boys love to fish. they go with their dad every couple months, but this day i decided to go with them. i am so glad i went. i did a little fishing myself, but mostly, i sat and i watched them. i can’t explain it, but it was the most amazing feeling watching them stand there, talking to each other, or just being quiet, waiting for a fish to bite, realizing they were not only brothers, but had become best friends. it was incredible and when i look at this picture i am reminded of how sweet it is to watch your boys grow and become little men right before your eyes.
boys.
i love the mornings when my boys crawl into bed with me. just think, two of the cutest little boys ever created laying next to me, cuddling. there is nothing sweeter. but then they start talking and the sweetness is gone. this morning i aksed ethan if he wanted a robot for christmas. he says “heck no”. so i tell him how cool it is because you can tell the robot what to do… this is the conversation that follows.
andrew “yah, you can tell him to grab his balls”
ethan *giggle* “yah, i’ll say, touch your nards you stupid robot”
andrew “or you can say pick your butt”
ethan “yah, pick your butt and smell your fingers”
andrew “hahaha, yah, and what if he has poop on his chonies because he didn’t wipe good.”
me “THAT’S IT, OUT OF MY BED, I’VE HAD ENOUGH”
boys.
then they grow into men and instead of nards and balls, it’s tubesteak and fur burgers.
hey, but at least i don’t have to deal with growing boobs and periods, right?
thank heaven for little boys
well, i wasn’t alone after all. the boys were supposed to stay the night with my mom, but i called her and told her not tonight, i just didn’t want to be alone.
we watched frosty the snowman together. it was sweet and i loved every minute of it. i remember that feeling i would get when i was little and we’d watch the christmas cartoons together as a family. it was the most exciting feeling, because i knew christmas was just a few days away. now i’m sitting here watching my children experience that excitement. it doesn’t get any better than that.
i just finished tucking them in bed and i took a few pictures before i kissed them goodnight. seriously, how could i ever live without these wonderful little guys?
just what i needed
today i spent some much needed time with my family. it’s been a long time since all four of us have gone out together for some good old fashion fun. i can’t tell you how much we all needed it.
it didn’t start off on a good note. ethan was tired from a sleep over last night and when that kid is tired there is NO reasoning with him. he was crying because he wanted to go to chuck e cheeses and we wanted to surprise them and take them to a mini amusement park. he cried for what seemed like hours, until we finally convinced him that he was going to have fun.
once there we had an amazing time. i have to let you all know, i have the funniest, most entertaining kids that ever lived. argue if you want, but i’m telling you, my kids are hilarious. here is a bit of advice andrew gave ethan about how to fight the funny feeling you get when you’re going down the hill on a roller coaster. “ethan, just make that face like when you’re taking a crap and grunt really loud, like when you’re crapping.” i’m so proud. so wise.
when we were finished on one ride, they didn’t unlock the bars fast enough and andrew freaked out and screamed “OH MY GOD, WE’RE STUCK!” meanwhile, ethan was busy checkin out the ladies. there were some little girls there in cheer leading outfits and he said “”you can see their underwear when they bend over, ya know?” thank you for sharing ethan, i’m sure your dad is so proud.
that time with my husband and kids is just what i needed. i was reminded of what is important in my life. i am loved. i have love all around me. i just have to be more aware of it and appreciate what i have, not dwell on what i can’t have. just to let go and enjoy what’s around me. i watched ethan on one of the rides, he threw his hands up in the air and looked up towards the sky. i snapped a picture and looking at it i think to myself that is how i want to feel. i just want to enjoy every minute of my life i know i will struggle, but i’m going to fight it with all i have. my family is worth the fight. hell, i’m worth it. i deserve to be happy. don’t we all?
my little freaks
my kids have the best conversations. i sit by their door and listen to them talk because they entertain me non-stop. here is what i just heard right now.
andrew: my stomach hurts
ethan: well you know what hurts really bad? when you have a pimple on your butt and you sit on it.
andrew: you have a pimple on your butt? let me see.
ethan: well, when i was wiping my butt i felt a bump and it hurt. daddy said it’s a pimple.
andrew: *giggle* you have a pimple on your butt
ethan: so, you have hairy balls!
my little pilgrim
i am happy to say, ethan did a wonderful job singing today! it was so great, well, except for the chaos i created at the beginning of the program. you see, my son was a pilgrim, so they had to wear these hats and little vests. well, i watched all the kids walk in, and i never saw ethan. “hmmm , that’s weird, maybe i missed him.” so i ask my friend if she saw him, nope, she didn’t see him either. “maybe they’re all not here yet?? i thought to myself. but wait! i see all the teachers! at this point, i was getting scared. i started to feel hot with fear, so i ran up to the front of the auditorium. i found his teacher and was all “where is my son?” she told me he was there, but i can’t see him so i ask her to point him out to me but get this! she can’t find him either (mind you all the parents are watching us now) i’m FREAKING OUT and now she is too. then, i see this body, but you can’t see the head because the hat on the head is so damn big, it’s ethan! “there he is!” i say. the hat was covering his face! dear god. we laughed about it and then i ran to my seat so they could start the program. my friend was in tears from laughing. everyone was laughing, actually. it was so cute, my son up there with a big ass pilgrim hat singing the squirrel and the mother f’ing turkey song!
god i love being a mother!