Taxes are DONE! I can sleep at night again! I don’t have to pay! I get money back! I’m going to take my family on a vacation! A real one! Not a fake one where we have to drive! One where we can get on a plane! And stay in a nice hotel! And have money left over to buy useless crap! Just because we can!
So, any suggestions on where we should FLY ON A PLANE to have our First Real Family Vacation? Keep in mind, we have THREE kids.
Please help me? I really have NO idea where I want to go. Ok, that’s a lie. I want to go to NYC, but that’s completely selfish. I don’t think the kids would have half as much fun as I would…
Category Archives: Mi Familia
Birthday!
I’m on my way to watch the birth of my nephew. I can not even put into words how excited I am. I’ve not mentioned anything about it until now because my sister has problems keeping her pregnancies. She’s had 3 miscarriages since she had my niece almost 5 years ago and this pregnancy she was on strict bedrest for the first 5 months, hemorraging the entire time. But today, my little nephew will make his entrance into the world EIGHT DAYS past his due date, even though the doctors told my sister if the pregnancy didn’t end in a miscarriage, she’d most likely have a premature baby. HA!
I’m scared. I was with my sister when she gave birth to my niece and while I was holding her hand, she went blank, her head flew back and she suffered a Grand Mal seizure. I thought she was goind to die. I fell on my knees in the hallway and was all “JESUS, PLEASE, DON’T LET HER DIE! They actually sent the hospital chaplin to come “comfort me” because I was screaming and crying uncontrollably and you know what I did when I saw her? I freaked the hell out, that’s what!? I became hysterical “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHY ARE YOU HERE?!” (because, I know they send the chaplin when someone dies!! I’ve seen soap operas, people.) She assured me that she was just there to comfort me (translation: “Calm the fuck down, woman, your sister is fine and you’re scaring people. Jesus loves you now SHUTUP, Oh child of God!) My family makes fun of me to this day (my brother in law does a great impression of me, on my knees, talkin with the Almighty) but she’s my sister, if anything bad ever happened to her, I would die. I know this time will be different because she’s been diagnosed as epileptic, and the doctors will monitor her accordingly, but being the paranoid freak, I still might need a chill pill or 5.
I just have to believe everything will be fine this time.
I can not wait to hold that little baby boy.
Opa
My Grandparents came over to see Gabriella. They fell in love with her instantly. It was an emotional moment for me to watch my Grandfather smiling at her because I remember the day he told me he was so sick he only had a year to live. I cried for days because I thought “he’ll never see me get married”.
That was 14 years ago and he’s still here. And he was able to see his great granddaughter. It touched me deeply.
Then, as they were leaving and Tony was helping my grandpa to the car, my grandpa turned to Tony and said “Your little girl is beautiful, Tony and it breaks my heart that I won’t live to see her get married.”
I sobbed like a baby when he said it and I cry everytime I think of it.
Like right now.
Why can’t Grandpas live forever?
emotions
Last night, Tony and I were talking about how drastically our lives are about to change.
We both are full of a thousand different emotions about it.
Excitement. We can’t wait to meet this little baby. To see what she looks like, to get to know her. We talk for hours about what we think she’ll look like, or whos personality she’ll have. If she’ll be a crier or a calm baby. We wonder if she’ll be born bald or have lots of hair. It’s exciting, especially because this baby is the little girl we never thought we’d have.
Nervousness. We wonder how are lives will change. No more sitting alone together on the couch after the boys have gone to bed. No more sleeping in on the weekend. We won’t be able to just get up and go somewhere the way we do now. How will our children react? We’re almost sure they will be positive and helpful, but you never know. Will she be healthy? Will her delivery go smoothly?
There’s also a little bit of sadness on my part. Sadness that things won’t be the way they are anymore. Sadness that Ethan won’t be the “baby” anymore. I hate admitting to that, but it’s true. It doesn’t take away from the fact that I love this baby and am excited about her arrival, it’s just the way I feel.
I have a lot of guilt when it comes to my boys right now. I feel like they’re being cheated out of a fun summer because of this pregnancy. Normally, we’d be out on the town doing things everyday. Raging Waters, bowling, the arcade, the park, etc, but because of the condition I’m in now and being ordered to rest, I just can’t do it. They are being so understanding and sympathatic to my condition, but I still can’t help but feel bad. I cry about it, I talk to them about it and they always say the same thing.
“Mom, it’s not your fault and we aren’t mad. You’re pregnant and you have to take care of yourself.”
Sigh.
I think the sadness comes from a place of things not being the way they are anymore. It’s been just me and those boys and I love them desperately. I don’t want to do anything to disrupt their lives. Yet, I know in my heart this baby will only enhance it. Right?
I felt the same way when I was pregnant with Ethan. It had been just me and Andrew for 4 years. I felt so much guilt for bringing another child in the picture, knowing I couldn’t give him all of the attention anymore, knowing I’d have devide my time between the two of them and share my love and attention. I didn’t think I had in it me to love 2 kids.
Funny how all of those fears and all of that sadness was put to rest the minute Ethan was born.
Now, they are best friends. They love each other more than anything and I can’t imagine one without the other. They do everything together and enjoy each other’s company.
What if I had let that fear keep me from having another child? Andrew would have missed out on a best friend and I would have missed out on the funniest little kid I know.
Just writing this, looking at the pictures of those boys is slowly putting that sadness to rest, it’s making me realise that one day I’ll be watching the three of them play and I’ll ask myself “How did we ever live without that little girl?”
going up?
I am physically, emotionally and diarrahaealy exhausted.
I have spent the past 5 hours going between the 2nd and 4th floor of the community hospital visiting both of my grandmothers.
Mi familia.
Shopping is done, presents are wrapped.
Christmas music is playing in the background. The smell of vanilla and sugar cookies fill the air.
The kids are fighting, screaming, crying, yelling and breakdancing.
They are hitting each other with wrapping paper rolls and tattling every 3 minutes.
Then they stop in the living room and look at the presents, guessing what each box holds in store for them in the morning.
Tony is farting, hawking loogies in the toilet and yelling at me to get off the computer.
I’m yelling back at him “LISTEN, Mr.Drill Sergeant, I have done EVERYTHING, I have bought all the presents, stayed up late last night wrapping them, got up early this morning to finish the shopping, and you have done nothing, so don’t you tell me to get off the computer, I can do what I want!”
Strangely, things are just the way I want them to be. This is my family, and although we are far from perfect, we are a family. A family who laughs together all the time, a family who realizes the most important thing we have is each other.
There is so much love in this house and I couldn’t ask for anything else. I wouldn’t trade this craziness for anything in the world.
Not even a night with Jay Mohr.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
And because I’m still having way too much fun with this uploading music shit, I’ll leave you with the song me and Ethan have been poppin’ and lockin’ to all morning. It’s about to get ghetto up in here.
Big Tymers- I’m Still Fly.
(Right Click and Save as, please)
13 years together and it only feels like 59!
Today is our 13 wedding anniversary.
I will never forget that day, 13 years ago. I was a hot, 19 year Germican beauty with a tight body. Tony was a thin, 25 year old mexican with a head full of hair.
And we were both madly in love.
I remember it was a beautiful day.
I remember Tony’s grandmothers lobsided boobs, my dad giving a 3 hour sermon and me rolling my eyes every 3 minutes because I wanted him to STOP ALREADY. I remember when we sang to each other, I remember the screaming baby in the background. I remember yelling at the photographer to stop taking pictures already because we needed to get to the reception and telling everyone “DON’T LISTEN TO HIM ANYMORE, JUST LEAVE, WE NEED TO LEAVE!” I remember making out to the Righteous Brothers, in the back of the limo that my long lost Godfather rented for us out of guilt for not being there for me as I was growing up. I remember showing up to the reception with hickeys all over my neck. I remember our boring ass reception because we weren’t allowed to have a dance, because it was against my fathers religion and I was still too scared to stand up to him. I remember the ride home, people honking at us, while I leaned out the window screaming “WOO HOO, we’re married!”, I remember getting home and NOT having sex because Tony was sick.
I also remember making up for not having sex that night by having sex 4 times a day, everyday for the next 3 months.
13 years later, I look back and think of all we’ve been through.
Good times.
Amazing times, like when our children were born.
Bad times.
We’ve both failed each other at times. We’ve both hurt each other. We’ve both done and said things we regret. However, we’ve managed to get through all of that and that’s a beautiful thing.
We certainly don’t have a perfect relationship. We argue more than any couple I know. But deep down, we love each other deeply, and we have one thing in common that I believe will keep us together for the rest of our lives.
No, it’s not our great sex life!.
It’s the love for our family. The love of the beautiful children we made together.
I love you, Tony. Happy Anniversary.
Campanions in laughter, friends in tears.
Everything is going to be ok.
I’m ok.
We all go through rough times in our lives. No relationship is perfect. We have hard times.
We’ve always managed to get through them because bottom line is we love each other and we love our family.
I will fight with whatever I have to keep my family together.
Would I stay around if there wasn’t love? No.
But there is love. There is deep love. The kind of love that kept my husband here next to me when I wanted to die. The kind of love that kept my husband around even after he had to hold me down so I would stop ripping my hair out and cutting myself. The kind of love that allows us to have bad times, to search our souls and yet always come back to each other.
That kind of love is worth fighting for.
He loves me. I love him. We just need to work it out.
13 years. That’s nothing to just walk away from and give up on.
And we won’t.
We always get through.
We love each other and we love our children too much to not try.
It will all be ok.
I know it, he knows it.
It might not be happy for a while, but it will be ok.
We can’t be happy all of the time. That’s not reality. We’re not in a bad situation. We don’t hate each other. We’re just having a rough time right now. My husband has things that are bothering him right now and I will allow him to have time to think things through. I am not going to panic. I am not going to pressure him. I am going to stand by him and love him the way he did when I was in a severe depression. I owe him that much.
I’ve loved him long time
Tomorrow, my sweetie will turn 38 years old. Damn, he’s an old fart! 😉 I am a little sad because I won’t be able to spend the day with him, so I wanted to wish him a happy birthday a day early.
He can be a pain in the ass sometimes (like last night, when he woke me up at least 32 times to ask me stupid questions) But he really is the most wonderful man I know and I feel lucky to have had his love for 14 years.
your birthday comes to tell me this
-each luckiest of lucky days
i’ve loved,shall love,do loveyou,was
and will be and my birthday is.
-e.e.cummings
Happy Birthday. I love you.
That’s my boy!
I was laying on the couch watching the Laker game with Tony. The boys were in the toy room playing a new video game and they called us over to show us something on the game. We walked in as they were typing their names in. Andrew types his in first. A-N-D-R-E-W. Now it’s Ethans turn. He types B-I-G-A-S-S. He instantly turned around to see our reaction. I had to run out of the room so I didn’t laugh in front of him and Tony scolded him. “Ethan Michael, A-S-S is a bad word and we don’t say it.” “But I didn’t say it, I spelled it.” ha!!! Tony had no reply and I was in the kitchen laughing my ass off. The kid is 5 years old and he spelled big ass. Once again, I’m so proud.