I’m going to have to take drastic measures to protect my daughter from the baby lovers of this city because people can’t stop TOUCHING MY DAUGHTER.
I’m sorry, I’m weird about that, if I don’t know you, I don’t want you to touch my baby. I have no idea where people’s hands have been and they touch her hand and then she sticks her hands in her mouth. Ew. It just makes me sick. I’ve tried to be polite about it, UNTIL TODAY. Because, today? Today, someone who I’ve never seen in my entire life… KISSED MY BABY ON THE CHEEK.
“HELP! PERSONAL SPACE INVASION OF THE WORST KIND IN THE BARBIE ISLE!”
I was so shocked and disgusted and pissed and SHOCKED.
I’m going to start carrying a sign “DO NOT TOUCH THE BABY.”
Or how about “Touch the baby, get your ass beat”
What in the hell is wrong with people? I mean, I’ve seen cute babies before and I’ve never, not once, EVER thought “that baby is so cute that I’m going TO KISS IT!” Hell, I have never even touched a baby I don’t know.
Why do The Crazies of the world always end up in the same isle as me?
Category Archives: Raising a Daughter
I love her smile
My Gabriella is such a happy baby. You can see it in her smile and oh, how you can hear it in her laugh.
I suppose you’d be that happy too, if you had two of the most hilarious boys flipping, jumping, twisting and making silly noises for JUST FOR YOU. All the time. Anytime you wanted.
I swear, it’s enough to make my heart explode into pieces.
Happy pieces.
Beautiful cheese
I held my daughter up to the mirror so she could see herself. She looked puzzled at first, then she smiled the most beautiful smile.
And she kept smiling. At herself. It was as if she thought she was the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.
Tears started streaming down my face. It was one of the most pure, amazing moments in my life.
Why?
Because I’ve never known what it feels like to look in the mirror and like the person I see. It’s something I’ve always wished for, but loving myself is foreign to me. So, as I held my little girl in my arms and I watched her smiling at herself, I thought to myself “I hope she always feels this way when she looks at herself. I hope she never feels the way I do when she looks in a mirror. I hope that everytime she sees herself, she smiles like this because she feels beautiful. Because she feels loved. Because she feels special. Because she loves what she sees. Because she loves herself.”
One of my the biggest fears I had when I found out I was having a girl was that she would grow up hating herself the way I did. I swore I would do everything in my power to make sure she knew how loved, how worthy, how wanted, how beautiful she is, but I was afraid I’d fail. I was afraid I wouldn’t know how to do that, because I don’t know how to love myself. But when I saw the way she looked at herself just now, it was as if God was speaking to me, telling me that if I love her unconditionally, if I value her, respect her, she, in turn, will do the same. She WILL love herself inside and out, she WILL believe she’s beautiful, because she’ll have no reason to believe otherwise.
0 – P-I-S-S-E-D in 60 seconds
My daughter has inherited my raging temper and I finally have photographic evidence. As you look at the photos, you can mentally put my face in place of hers and switch out the toy for a burrito that has onions even though I asked for NO ONIONS, because I swear it’s the same scene. Exactly.
It started out with Tony innocently handing her a new toy hoping she’ll chew on it instead of eating her hands up.
“Look, Mom, a new toy! I’m not quite sure how to use it, but I’m a genius, so I’ll figure it out!”
It takes her a few minutes, but with little help from daddy, she gets it into her mouth and begins biting furiously
.
And what do you know? SHE LOVED IT. She was talking and squeeling and biting and kicking.
“Mmmmmmm chewy toy” The chewing goodness lasted about a minute because OH MY GOD… THE TOY FELL OUT OF HER HANDS.
“Can someone please PUT THAT TOY BACK IN MY MOUTH FOR ME? Ok, you’re taking too long, I’m going to have to bust out the ‘throw myself back and get completely stiff’ move now!”
We tried giving it back to her, but she was already pissed beyond the point of return.
“GET THAT TOY AWAY FROM ME. HOW DARE YOU NOT BE THERE TO CATCH IT THE SECOND IT FELL, YOU WILL PAY IN THE FORM OF ME SCREAMING FOR 10 MINUTES!”
If you people only knew how similar my coniptions are, you’d be like “Poor Yvonne, having to deal with a little mini-her”
Like my mom says… “It’s payback time”
And we use CHEAP SHAMPOO!
I still can’t believe I have a daughter.
And she’s beautiful.
And she loves to PULL MY HAIR.
You can’t see her hand there, but it has a hand full of my hair in it. That’s her new thing, pulling my hair, every chance she gets. It reminds me why I cut all of my beautiful long hair off after I had my first baby. I couldn’t take the constant pulling and ripping out of the hair.
But this post isn’t about the fact that my daughter is ripping my hair out of my scalp. This is about how beautiful she is and how lucky I feel to have her in my life.
If you want to make it into something it isn’t? You can make it about how shiny and beautiful our hair is.
Special Sauce!!!
Joe likes to make me special things that make me laugh til I pee pee. I had to share his latest creation…
Like, Omigod, she’s SO PRETTY!
My daughter has the sweetest disposition. Well, except when she gets pissed because the boob in her mouth isn’t the left boob. Other than that? She’s smiley and sweet and precious and giggly and kissy and just downright ANGELIC. *cue angels singing*
I look at her and I can’t help but cry like a little sissygirl. Just because she’s so damn cute.
And she’s mine
My sister was making fun of me because I emailed her pictures, and I wrote “I make pretty babies, huh?”
She was all “You didn’t make her… GOD DID!”
And I was all “Whatever, she came of out MY vagina!”
I win.
a boob is a boob is a boob
Today I had my very first power struggle with my daughter.
And she’s only TWO MONTHS OLD.
She suddenly is repulsed by my right tit. She REFUSES to eat off of it. She screams and throws herself back and GAGS. I switched her to the otherside, just to see what she would do, and she got all happy and started sucking away.
But I wasn’t having that.
I took her off (Because she had already eaten off of that side and after an entire night of no eating, the tits tend to get REALLY FULL and REALLY BIG and REALLY PAINFUL, so I had to “empty” the right side) and I tried giving her the right tit again.
She started screaming and throwing her head back and GAGGING again.
I looked at her and said “Listen, oh little queen of the world, there is nothing wrong with this tit. You WILL EAT FROM IT! I refuse to have one tit the size of a pumpkin and the other one the size of an orange. THEY MUST REMAIN EVEN IN SIZE AND IN MILK PRODUCTION. NOW STOP GAGGING AND SUCK!”
And she was like “MAKE ME.”
And I so I did what any mother with an enlarged, aching tit at 5 in the morning would do.
I started to cry.
I am sure this is just the beginning of power struggles to come. Today it’s “I don’t want your right boobie!”, tomorrow it’ll be “I don’t feel like sleeping, and if I don’t sleep, YOU don’t sleep.” Ten years from now it’ll be “I HATE these stupid pants, so I’m not wearing them and you can’t make me.” And on and on and on and on.
If she didn’t have the cutest damn toothless smile in all of the world, I could probably get mad at her. Lucky her.
I have to fight the urge to SQUEEZE HER REALLY HARD
My daughter has SO much hair I can NOT resist the urge to brush it funny and make it all fluffy because it’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. EVER.
And it’s even funnier when she’s cross eyed. AGAIN!
You’d think she’d hate me for doing it, but SHE LOVES IT.
Would she be smiling like that if she DIDN’T like it? I don’t think she would be.
I’m HOT without makeup… in my dreams
The look on my daughters face leads me to believe that she is SICK AND TIRED of me kissing on her every minute that she’s awake. She is like “listen, lady, at least BRUSH YOUR TEETH before you get all up in my grill like that!” And she would have a point. I really should be more considerate and hygienic.
Too bad for her, I will NOT EVER stop kissing her. But, I will try to make a point to brush my teeth first.
I love that I can lounge around WITH MY DAUGHTER, no make up on while wearing old tshirt full of tittymilk puke and feel THIS HAPPY and THIS COMPLETE and THIS FULL OF JOY.
Now, if someone knocked on my door right now, it’d be a different story. I’d go into full panic mode.
“I can’t answer the door! I stink! I don’t have make up on! My TEETH HAVE NOT BEEN BRUSHED! GO AWAY OR I WILL SLAY YOU WITH THE ODOR OF MY UNSHAVEN PITS!”
Who cares about stupid people who come over without calling first, though. All I care about are these beautiful children God blessed me with that I get to love all day long, even if I am in desperate need of a shower and a good cleaning of the teeth.