I love apple crisp and apple pie, but I hate the apples in it. I just eat the crust and the sauce, but I throw away the apples. I love the flavors of apples, but biting into soggy, warm ones disgust me.
I do the same things with onion rings. I just eat the breading, but I can’t bite into the onion, unless it’s reeeeeeally thin and crispy, but biting into a thick, soggy onion just isn’t ok with my mouth.
Tony says this makes me weird.
I told him to shutup and go buy me an apple pie from McDonalds.

PMS.
Respect it.
Educate yourself on it.
Do not belittle it.
Do not mock it. Do not take it lightly.
Do NOT ever say “oh, it must be that time of that month.” That’s just ignorant.
Take a look…
The most common physical and emotional symptoms associated with PMS include:
Weight gain from fluid retention
Abdominal bloating
Breast tenderness
Tension or anxiety
Depression
Crying spells
Mood swings and irritability or anger
Appetite changes and food cravings
Joint or muscle pain
Nausea
Vomiting
Headache
Difficulty concentrating
Fatigue
It is not fun. It is not an excuse to be a bitch.
It’s a real medical condition, God damn it.
When the fuck are men going to stop being pricks about it and understand it?
Damn.
I’m thinking of asking all women who suffer from PMS to take a picture of your bloated belly, send it to me and we’ll have a PMS-a-thon and raise money for awareness of the condition. Who’s in?
(and I know that not ALL men are insensitive to it, so don’t bother scolding me about that… there are far more who think it’s a big joke then there are those who really understand it)

The best fatherly advice I have ever heard in my entire life was just spoken in this house.

“Son, there are two things you never want to lose in your life. Your tools and your guns.”

Aren’t you glad I shared?

The word WASH. Let’s talk about it for one minute, shall we?
It is not pronounced W-U-S-H. Nor is it W-O-R-S-H.
You do not wush your hair, you wash it. You do not worsh your clothes, you wash them.

Root Beer floats are N.A.S.T.Y.
Ice cream and soda were never meant to be in the same cup. Ever. I’m sure of it.

I am changing my name. It is no longer Mommy. Nor is it Mom. Nor is it mother, mamma, or madre.
Infact, I don’t have a name.
No, no I don’t. As of this very minute I am nameless, therefore, any name ANY PERSON in this house calls me shall be ignored.
For the rest of the night.

Good friends sometimes grow apart.
People make new friends and leave old ones behind.
People move on.
I accept this, I just don’t like it very much.

I wish that women didn’t base their self worth on how a man treats them, but instead learned to find the good and beauty inside of them and learned to love themselves.
I wish that people would take responsibility for their own actions and quit blaming everyone else for their problems.
I wish that every child was born to a mother and father who loved them and cherished them as though they were angels sent from heaven instead of neglecting, beating and belittling them.
I wish that people were honest and spoke truths instead of lies and hurtful, untrue gossip.
I wish that people would look to the heart of a person instead of judging them on their appearance.
I wish that elderly people were given respect and love instead of being abused, mocked and disregarded as though they weren’t human.
I wish that people didn’t have to live on the streets or in cars and that every person could go to bed full and content instead of starving and cold.
I wish that people could admit when they were wrong and just say sorry.
I wish people would realize the world doesn’t revolve around them.

I just want to say I am so happy that I am surrounded with people who make me laugh so hard that my stomach literally hurts.
It feels good to laugh like this again. I just wish it wasn’t this painful.
Life is good.

I will never understand why people LEAVE THIER CHILDREN LOCKED IN CARS WITH THE WINDOWS ROLLED UP. What the hell are these people thinking? What is so hard about taking your children inside with you????? I can say I have never nor will I ever leave my kids in the car. It doesn’t make any sense.
Yesterday, a woman left her 2 foster children in her Escalade for 5 hours while she went inside the day care she works at. It was 100 degrees outside. She came back to find the kids dead. How senseless.
It angers me so much. My sister found a new born baby in a car last summer and freaked out. She called 911 and almost broke the window of the car because she said the baby stopped crying, she thought the baby might be dying. The police came and at the same time the mother came running out. She was shopping at Old Navy while her baby was burning alive in the car. What kind of human being actually thinks leaving your child in a car is even an option? What the fuck is wrong with people?