On Notice:

My Doctor
People Who Do Not Give “The Courtesy Wave.”
My Thyroid
The checker at Vons who interrogates me about every coupon.
Commenters who do not use real email addresses.
My brain.
Scott Baio
The All Wimmins Gym.
This Week.

47 thoughts on “On Notice:

  1. Carrisa

    I love that Scott Baio made the list. He’s such a tool.
    I would like to put my coworker on notice for blasting the heat so high and for so long that everyday around 3 pm he feels the need to switch on the air conditioner. As if just turning OFF the heat isn’t good enough. So I sit here in my office freezing under the air conditioner when it’s 45 degrees outside. Asshole!

  2. mel from freak parade

    Sorry about your week. I just have to crack up at the fact that you have Scott Baio on your list, though.
    My list:
    Wells Fargo
    ATT Wireless or Sony Ericcson…or whoever the hell is responsible for the problems we are having with my son’s phone.
    The cats…who from now on, I am going to forbid to crap more than one time a day each or they need to start using the toilet
    Myself for slacking, procrastinating, and just in general making things way more difficult for myself.
    The idiots behind Spike TV.

  3. Y

    Carissa– I kinda liked Scott Baio after the first show in VH1. I thought he was a total ass, but at least he was being honest and trying to work through it!
    Now, with the whole “I don’t want to hear the baby cry, so let’s get a house where I can run away so as not to hear it cry” thing makes me think I hate him.
    Also? How fake can a show be?
    Mel- SO agree with you about Spike TV

  4. Debi

    In my house, that is referred to as The List. You don’t want to be on it, ’cause it’s tough to get off it.
    The List:
    Best Buy installation dept. for not allowing me to schedule an appt. for my Sirius – really? First come, first serve? Whatev.
    My supervisor – all you do is take up space and breathe my air.
    Flabby post baby tummy – you are no longer needed. Your job is done. Go away.
    Me, for not updating Jax blog as much as I should. (Take pictures you lazy broad!)

  5. Rhi

    With you on:
    This Week
    Checkers who examine each coupon
    People who do not give the courtesy wave
    My own:
    The fact the air conditioning is on in my office
    The one male in my office
    The fact that my boyfriend is going to Hawaii WITHOUT ME
    Also, Comcast.

  6. andi

    Has Flickr betrayed you? I usually love her.
    Mine are:
    -Sandra Bullock.
    -Tobey Maguire. (Had to get the celebs out of my system first).
    -Pants that fit you perfectly in-store but then inexplicably stretch out after you wear them for a day. There’s nothing like having to pull up your pants constantly to preserve your dignity while desperately fighting your frumptastic tendencies.
    -Snow that needs to be shoveled off of sidewalks every effing day.
    -Rude people, in general.
    Ah, thanks for this. I feel much better.

  7. Mamacita

    If I tried to break my List down into individual things, there wouldn’t be enough paper or bandwidth in the world to hold it.
    That’s why I call mine “Stupid People.” I figure they’re responsible for most of the bad things in the world anyway.

  8. Motherhood Uncensored

    The genius who decided it was a good idea to put a bunch of dancing singers (or singing dancers) on tv live with drew lachey hosting.
    Similarly, the genius who decided we all wanted to see American Gladiators. Again.
    my asshole.

  9. Helen

    Ooooooh me to.
    Landlady, who is for REAL on notice, having made us move house twice in 8 weeks ( yes really) and put us in this stinking, falling apart, leaking, rotting house, who refuses to make repairs and so therefore has been given notcie and we are moving again ( 4th house in seven months, yes MONTHS) who also despite making us move 4 MONTHS before a lease/ tenancy agreement was up is saying she is keeping our deposit because we are leaving ONE month before agreement is up.
    ( actually can we forget notice and put out a fatwah or whatever those things are called??)
    Am so tired of moving house with 3 kids ( one autistic, can you imagine the fun of moving an autistic kid 3 times in half a year? Wheeeeeeeee!)

  10. Bri

    I agree with the courtesy wave thing. I grew up in Southern Illinois. It’s southern, that’s what you do. In St. Louis, not so much.

  11. Meegan

    My OB is on notice for making me wait for 90 minutes before my first u/s yesterday. Not like I was nervous about seeing a heartbeat or anything! (It was there, flickery and beautiful, in case you are interested.)
    Shingles/Staph Infection. On notice. Probably don’t need to elaborate but Urgent Care just gave my husband this “possible” preliminary diagnosis. Fuck, man.
    Chocolate chip cookies. You are on notice for being so tasty. Damn it!
    Britney Spears. You are on notice for not listening to the people who love you and care about you and want to help you get the assistance you need. You are on notice for putting your “celebrity” and need for constant exposure before your children. Even if you are mentally ill. I’m crazy, too, beyotch, but I TAKE my meds!
    Jerks that were shopping at Target today. You know who you are!

  12. The Simple Family

    Commenters who give email addresses that they don’t check.
    Commenters who must comment on every aspect of your personality.
    The people who don’t restock milk fast enough at the store.
    Pamela Anderson’s boobs.
    There. I feel better.

  13. heather

    my list:
    -my mother- I have a hard enough time cleaning up after the 4 kids- don’t come over here and make more messes for me- jeez
    -the strange fat deposits that have created a skin “shelf” off my ass ( I think that was a souvenir after kid number 3)
    -bad tv-please pay the writers so I can have my tv back
    -the makers of slim fast- no way in hell it keeps me full for four hours – 4 minutes maybe
    -thank you for this venting moment… I think I feel better
    btw- are the pictures at the top of your blog your own- they rock.

  14. angie

    Frumptastic! That is my new favorite word!
    The media/paparazzi still following Britney around. Enough already!
    My fat.
    My hair!
    That’s all for now.

  15. DebbieS

    This is a great idea!
    On notice:
    Acne-ridden forehead. You are 36, start acting your age! No wait, act 26!
    My missing iPOD armband. Where the hell did you go? I had to run with my iPOD down my pants this morning.
    My running pants. Thank you for wicking away perspiration but do you really have to have enough spandex to show my leg stubble?
    Lung cancer. You keel my mother, prepare to die.
    Ahh. I feel better, now =)

  16. JaniceNW

    Scott Baio the man whore? Bwahahaha. I caught his “show” last weekend and I was laughing through the entire immature whining.
    I wish you better days for the rest of the week. Hugs.

  17. Mari

    Sorry about your thyroid. I have been feeling similar for YEARS and have been told the same exact things as you have been told. Now I am beginning to wonder.
    Also, I hate Scott Baio. He’s a penis face.
    And also, I need to start reading you a lot more, because i missed your blog.
    Feel better, M.

  18. Mari

    Sorry about your thyroid. I have been feeling similar for YEARS and have been told the same exact things as you have been told. Now I am beginning to wonder.
    Also, I hate Scott Baio. He’s a penis face.
    And also, I need to start reading you a lot more, because i missed your blog.
    Feel better, M.

  19. AlwaysCurious

    oo this looks like fun. I wanna play!
    Assholes in traffic
    Earthlink DSL
    Every Indian call center and the effing companies that make me call them and REFUSE TO LET ME TALK TO SOMEONE THAT I CAN UNDERSTAND **breaaaaaaaath** ok i’m ok now
    Apartment complexes with no-dog policies (or no dog over 30 lbs policies, i don’t want a stupid chihuahua! its not a dog!)
    My ass. for expanding without permission.

  20. Andrea

    Oh, I have to play…I’m having one of those weeks:
    1. The selfish BEYOTCH who decided to get drunk before 2pm on Friday afternoon, drive so erratically that someone called the cops, and then drive smack into the back of my SUV (thank God it wasn’t a small car) going at least 50mph. Thanks for letting me see pain and fear in my 7-yr old son’s eyes after what you did to us.
    2. The judge/jury/whoever that let her get back behind the wheel after her third DUI (this is her FOURTH). If she was driving with a suspended license, then I forgive these people and she’s on the list TWICE.
    3. Glass company that can’t get their damn job done to come install my shower walls/door even though they were here in OCTOBER.
    4. Damn writer’s strike. I need less of this reality tv and more of The Office.
    Thank you, Y. This airing of grievances is very therapeutic. 🙂

  21. mauniejames

    I never like Scott Baio..my sister loved him…
    my list……hubby and young son…you know why…
    the horrible person at CVS…you too know why
    the person who gave me a gift card for $2.64
    that’s it for this week gosh darn I feel much better
    thanks Y…your one of my faves anyway

  22. jen from boston

    The season premiere of Scott Baio is a Douchebag had me yelling at the tv. Esp. the part about the house and then admitting he couldn’t even afford it but he was buying it to stay clear from new fiance and eventual baby (and he’ll be “working so much” to pay for it). DOUCHE.
    His friends are not any better (save for the one kid from The Wonder Years – Jason Harvey? – who said that he loved his kids, they’re the best/ blahblah, butthe rest though? I mean, something to be said for the company he keeps.

  23. Incognito

    Y – I bow before you for using my old email address. Going forward, I shall use my current email address. It’s just habit. Please, on my knees, forgive me.
    I am a huge asshole when it comes to non-courtesy-waving people. I turn from a do-gooder into a middle finger beeyotch! LOL…
    I’m still sorry about your thyroid. An old mexican (and old southern) recipe of stewed tomatoes on the bottoms of your feet seems to cure everything. Worst case… stew some up!

  24. Ladybird

    LOVE your list! Here are a few of mine:
    My small boobs
    People that let their mouth just hang open all the freakin’ time
    Bruno and Carrie Ann

  25. Gigi

    I agree with Flickr. It was giving me errors when I tried to upload Christmas photos, so I gave up. Then my hard drive crashed and burned and I now they are gone! (Sob, sob).
    Consider, this a late de-lurker response too. I tried but it wouldn’t accept it. Computers are out to get me this month.

  26. Lisse

    This cold. I used to be able to make it through the winter without getting sick. I’m now on my second cold this season.
    Ridiculous traffic on the way into work . Wasn’t the Big Dig supposed to fix this?
    Whoever decided that companies should work on MLK day or any other Monday holiday when the kids have off from school.

  27. Redneck Mommy

    Plumbers … they provide a necessary service and then rape your pocketbook afterwards.
    My left ass cheek and the monster zit that has formed there making sitting more painful than if I had an actual hemorrhoid.
    People who work at the bank and forget to refill the deposit envelop slots at the bank machines thereby forcing me to actually go into the bank and wait in the long ass line.

  28. bex

    People in “authority” who don’t find it necessary to get back to you when you’ve asked an important question…are you trying to make me feel worthless?
    freaking midwest winter. a high of 2 degrees makes me want to puke, but I can’t do that b/c it would freeze.
    long lines. Due to the aforementioned freezing weather I’m wearing all of my clothes everywhere I go. Meaning, I sweat like a dirty pig any time I enter the over heated buildings.
    the front bumper on my car. you seem worthless to me, but I still think I’m going to have to get you fixed.

  29. The Over-Thinker

    When you’re speaking face-to-face with someone and they say, “Lol”
    When said person gets all pissy when you call them a moron
    Cold Fries from McDonalds. Such a disappointment.

  30. rozie

    – flickr: you ate my tags, titles and descriptions. What gives?
    – work: I like you. You pay me okay. But my work day tomorrow is 10:30 to midnight with a few hour windows in between and I just got off work at midnight now. Come on.
    – muscles: stop it already. I know snowboarding was something different but I need to do up my bra behind my back like a big girl. And what’s up with my hands being sore?!
    – internal clock: 3am is not a good bed time. 1:30 or 2 please.
    – bank account: grow.
    – visa: shrink.
    – mess: clean yourself up, I’m too busy trying making to money to afford you.
    – fridge: if I put $20 in you can you go get a salad and some food that isn’t perogies? I don’t have time because of work and more work.
    Thanks Y.

  31. Cassie

    *Credit card companies that send notices to the wrong address (even though I gave them the right one) and blame me when I don’t know where to make payments
    *Debt: which always shows up RIGHT as I think I’ve paid it off.
    *Internal Clock (me too!!): Stop thinking that even though you work from home, it’s ok to get up at 11am and not shower until 4pm.
    *Roommate: for being a typical male and not doing his dishes
    Mmmmkay. I have more, but I probably should go shower and get to work. HA!

  32. Luann

    – whoever is responsible for the writer’s strike. ENOUGH already
    -The ER doctor who is billing me for something he didn’t do
    -The germs trying to invade my body and giving me a 101.7 temp THREE days before I go to Vegas

  33. Jennifer

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  34. James

    small number of Irish cattle imported since their importation was LdKdggKrCB manufacturer, so the capital of the manufacturer, being at all times more

  35. Betty

    number of labourers and labouring cattle will raise a much greater produce, use at home. Its annual exportation will, in this manner, continue for some

  36. cardiogirl

    I like to believe there is a Special Hell that’s just highly annoying for the People Who Do Not Give “The Courtesy Wave.”
    At least that’s the thought that gets me by.

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