More Thoughts on The Lay Off of 08 and Hopefully the LAST Thoughts About It.

Every Thursday my husband gets his paycheck in the mail. Normally included with the paycheck are maps/information of upcoming jobs.
For the past 3 or 4 month there haven’t been any maps.
So, every Thursday, PigHunter will walk through the door and ask “Did I get my check.”
“Yes.” I answer.
“Were there any maps?”
“No.” I’d say.
And we’d both give each other a look and I’d feel fear in the depths of my soul because no maps= no new jobs= you’re probably going to get laid off.
But, we had hope that things would turn around.
Then, there was talk of the company bidding jobs in Oklahoma and we began having discussions about moving vs staying. Because I completely understood the severity of the situation, I was prepared to move out of California, away from my entire family and all of my friends without a fight.
One day he called from work to tell me that the company got the jobs in Oklahoma. I wanted to cry, both out of sadness for knowing I’d have to move away from the only place I’ve ever known and out of relief because my husband still has a job.
Then, last week, we found out that the news of landing the contracts in Oklahoma were false. They bid too high and lost out to another company.
Friday morning PigHunter called on his break. “Babe? Can you go online and start looking for jobs through the city?”
“Because… there’s no work. We have absolutely NO work.”
In that moment, I knew something bad was going to happen. I just didn’t know it was going to happen 2 hours later.
When my husband walked in the door later that afternoon, I could tell by the look on his face that something was wrong. I was too chicken shit to ask. I didn’t want to hear bad news. I didn’t think I could take it. So, I walked up and hugged him. “How are you?” I asked.
He didn’t answer. Instead, he took me by the arm and said “I need to talk to you.”
“Don’t panic,” He said as he shut our bedroom door. “But I no longer work for *insert company name here* Construction.”
“WHAT?” I screamed.
I started to cry. And then, I started to panic.
“Honey!” He said. “Look at me!”
I couldn’t look at him. I just couldn’t.
How will we pay our bills? How will we feed our children? And Oh my GOD, health care! I am sick, I am so sick and still have tests that need to be done and medication that needs to be prescribed! And my children. What will I do if they get sick? And THEIR TEETH! THEIR TEETH NEED WORK AND OH MY GOD… WHY?
“Daddy?” Gabby called out from her bedroom.
“One minute, sweetie” my husband called out. “I’m talking to mommy.”
“But Daddy! I need you!”
“Go see what your daughter needs. I need a minute to compose myself anyway. Just go!”
As soon as he left the room, I called Jenny. I needed to talk to someone who could help calm me down. I feel so bad for calling and dumping on her the way that I did. I was hysterical. But, she’s so wonderful. Just hearing her understanding, reasonable voice helped calm me down. Within a few minutes, I was able to sit down and have a someone rational conversation with my husband.
The way things stand right now, he’s been hired on with a different division of the company so that he can keep health insurance, but since there is literally NO WORK, we don’t know how long it will last. We’re going to see a huge decrease in income and I don’t make enough to cover the loss. I don’t know what we’ll do, or how we’ll be able to make ends meet, but I do know that there are things I can do to start saving money.
I will cancel gym memberships. I will have home phone shut off. I will cancel all non-important subscriptions (napster, etc) I will not run the air conditioner unless absolutely necessary (already went to home depot to buy fans) I will hang dry clothes. I will not make a single trip to Starbucks. I will break the news to my sweet little girl who turns 4 next week that Mama will not be taking her to Disneyland like we had planned, but instead will have the family over for cake and ice cream and keep that money in savings. I’m sure there are more expenses I can cut, but for now, these are the things that come to mind
I will also began looking for evening employment. I have a day job working with a company that love, but it’s not enough anymore. I need to do more to get my family through this crisis.
I’m walking around with this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach knowing that my husband is barely hanging onto this “replacement job” and that any day now, that could be taken from him leaving us without a paycheck and even worse, without health insurance.
It’s funny, for the last few weeks, I’ve been continuing to have conversations with God. I’ve expressed to him my desire to believe in him. Just last week, I had a conversation with my dad about faith. “I just have a hard time believing it’s as simple as believing.”
“That’s why so many people struggle, Mija. They can’t accept that it really is that simple.”
And that night, I prayed and told God that I was going to have faith. That I was simply going to believe that he exists and that he cares for me.
And now, I’ve been given the ultimate test.
I’ll say it here right now.
I’m scared. I’m so scared that it’s hard to eat. I’m so scared that it’s hard to speak. I’m so scared that it’s hard to sleep.
But I have faith that God will help us get through this. I have faith that he will give me the strength and wisdom to find a way to make it all work.
And please don’t mistake that to mean that I think God is going to solve all of our problems for us. I refuse to believe that God is a personal genie. But I am going to have faith that he is watching out for us and will look to him for strength.
It sure beats the alternative.

144 thoughts on “More Thoughts on The Lay Off of 08 and Hopefully the LAST Thoughts About It.

  1. Gabby

    FAITH. Believe in it from the bottom of your heart and things will get better. You’ll see.

  2. MomZombie

    Delurking after a long time to say I enjoy your blog and sympathize with your situation. I live in Michigan, where jobs in my former industry (media) and our main industry, automotive, have been hacked and hacked to death. The situation is really grim here, foreclosures on every block, and it’s all I can do some days to find some positive thread in what has become a smothering blanket of gloom.
    Somehow keep faith and hope alive. You sound like a wonderful family with a lot of support.

  3. ben

    Dammit, Y, I’m so sorry.
    It seems so silly to say something so meaningless (and so unhelpful) but I don’t know what else to do. If I could, I’d hire y’all, but I’m just a worker bee myself.
    I hope something turns your way quickly!

  4. EDW

    When I was in a tough place about six months ago, I read Eat, Love, Pray and used her idea of a petition. I wrote mine to God and the Universe, and I asked my readers to sign it in their hearts. I consider this post a prayer, a petition, and I sign it with my whole heart.
    There’s nothing silly about asking – it’s the not asking that’s foolish.

  5. Stephanie

    Y, this really truly sucks. I want to kick the universe in the shins for continuing to just pile the shit on you and your family. Seriously, universe, WTF? However, as much as this SUCKS, I do admire how strong you are in dealing with this. I’m sure you don’t feel strong (no one does in this sort of situation), but believe me, I definitely would not be handling this anywhere near as well as you.
    Also, Gabby is going to be what? FOUR?! It can’t be!

  6. Katie

    As someone that’s been homeless, living in a campground, and hungry, I know what it means to feel scared to the depth of your soul.
    Keep working on it, find a new way to save every day, go generic, drive less and slower, etc. It will get better. It’s hard work and may take a little while to come back from, but you will. Believe.
    (thanks for writing so beautifully!)

  7. Nic

    good for you for having faith! I have a really hard time with it, mainly because I often want to give the world the finger (wow, aren’t I just a bunch of cheer!) BUT I do believe that happiness is a choice and that you have to choose faith as well. I started reading a blog where I’m literally AWED by their faith and that helped me tremendously, it’s
    Just keep believing and rolling with the punches. You WILL be okay. Somehow and in some way, you will be okay.

  8. Pam

    I read your blog on a regular basis. I started doing this because I have had complications from a planned surgery which has resulted in being off work for the last 9 months. So, of course, I’ve been left with lots of free time. I just want you to know that you need to keep your faith in God alive, even when you feel it’s a struggle to do so. This situation will pass. So hang in there, and take whatever help family and friends offer. It will be okay.

  9. Elizabeth

    I am so so so sorry.
    I am just hoping something so much better comes out of this, that one day you can look back and say “That’s why.” I SO admire your ability to try and have faith through this, and that you can admit how scared you are. I hope things get better soon, I really really do. I’ve had that fear and it’s just a feeling you never ever want anyone else to have.

  10. Laura

    Yvonne, I’m really looking forward to a few months from now, when you link to this post and we can all come back and read about how scary it was and how you had no idea what the future held for your family and we can all go, “Wow! Now see? Aren’t you glad you had faith? It all worked out beautifully! Yay! Boobies! Cooters!” Maybe we can all even meet up in real life and go sing Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin'” at a karaoke bar.

  11. lani

    “I refuse to believe that God is a personal genie.” How brilliant is that. It’s exactly how I feel, too. I think He gave us the capacity to choose and to solve problems on our own. He’s there to help provide the strength to get through experiences when we don’t have enough to go it on our own. It makes me worry less for you knowing you’re looking to Him for your help, because I know I can’t give it. But He can. He knows no limits. He knows us all better than we know ourselves. He has the perfect solution. Sometimes it’s just not what we would expect. You don’t know what it does for me knowing you’re trying to leave your worries in His hands.

  12. Dory

    I haven’t read your blog very long, so ‘first time commenter’ here!
    I’m so sorry. I have been there before. And it’s not over, but God is so faithful.
    I got laid off in 2003 and then went back to school. After I graduated, I found a job in my new field within a few months. Then just as we were getting back on our feet, my husband got laid off. He decided he wanted to go back to school. Now he’s scheduled to get his BA in May. He’s working part-time 20 hours a week, and I am on unemployment due to the Flood. So hard to find another job, especially since I can’t use the phone and need an interpreter at meetings.
    Anyway, our household hasn’t had two full-time incomes since I got laid off in 2003, (except for about 10 weeks in 2005 right before he got laid off). But we keep tithing, and we keep praying, and God is so good to keep our house, we have food, we have clothes, and we have transportation. He not only takes care of our needs, but He blesses us with ‘wants’ now and then.
    Use this time to get even closer to Him. You’ll be so amazed later at what He brought you through.
    Take care of you. I’ll be praying for you!

  13. Cait

    I just started reading your blog recently, and I can’t believe everything you’re going through. That’s a lot to handle, but I believe things will work out for the best.
    I wanted to comment because I can definitely relate to your feeling that it’s hard to comprehend that believing in God in simply that – believing. That was the big hump for me, but once I got that through my head, everything started making more sense.
    I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. And I want to share a quote with you that my friend always uses: “If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.”

  14. lostindie

    I feel your pain. I am in the same place really. It’s scary and it sucks. But….
    To me it’s all attitude. The worry and deep underarm sweat do not help. What is going to happen is going to happen. You and I and our families will deal with it. Like my husband said to me the other day…”I can either worry and be miserable or get up and put on my Sponge Bob Squarepants shirt and say screw it!” And he did.
    Check out Angel Food Ministry. They have CHEAP food for everyone to purchase.
    I am glad you have found your faith. I’ve kinda lost mine recently. I am hoping to regain it. Not sure what happened….
    I wonder how people in the past did it. I wonder how people in other countries do it. If our husbands are late coming home they can call. We don’t have to worry they died felling a tree or were eaten by a bear. We probably will never have to carry a sick child thirty miles for possible health care. My grandmother’s father died of a rattlesnake bite in MICHIGAN where rattlesnakes are RARE. Her mother was widowed with three kids and one on the way.
    When she (my grandma) married her husband needed his tonsils removed. Grandma had a toddler and another on the way. She was totally sick with morning sickness during both pregnancies. Her husband died during the surgery leaving her a penniless widow.
    These tough gritty women MADE it. I’m sure your family have these stories as well. That’s the stuff of our DNA. That’s what made us who we are.
    And…grandma lived exactly two weeks past her 102nd birthday…..

  15. dana michelle

    Y, I am so sorry to hear about Tony’s layoff! There is never a good time for this, but I truly believe that if you lean on Him, God will get your family through this.
    In 2002, I lost the job I had had for 14 1/2 years. Just walked in one morning, got pulled into an office and was told that I’d been laid off. This was shortly after 9/11, and the job market was really bad. After my severance ended it took another 7 months before I finally landed the job I have now. But I cut back on everything and somehow I managed. I truly believe that God was right there with me the entire way, and he already knew everything was going to work just fine. And I ended up in a job that I enjoy so much more, which I would have never known about, because I was so tied to that company because of all the years I had put in there.
    God got you through the loss of your home, and you ended up in a nicer home in a nicer neighborhood (even if your neighbors are kinda snooty 😉 I have faith that this is the first step in another journey that will take Tony somewhere better, in a job where he’ll be happier. I will keep your family in my prayers.
    (((((((((((Many, many hugs to all of you!))))))))))))

  16. Pam

    I’m very sorry to hear about this. I freaked when my husband lost his job earlier this year, and I don’t have kids, so I can’t really comprehend the severity of your situation. You don’t know me, but I will be thinking of you and your family, hoping something good comes your way.
    Good luck!

  17. Josephine

    Trust in God, and He will help you get through this. But God helps those who help themselves.
    I sincerely sympathize with you and your family. I will be praying for you.

  18. maya

    i think you’ve got the right attitude Y. all we can do is keep trying. and because of that, good things are bound to happen.

  19. Wendy

    Of course you’re worried. I mean, who wouldn’t be? But no matter what, you have everything required to get through it. And like I tell my husband (and myself) we have more than most people because we actually love each other and have the best kids in the world. I hope you have as much. I got fired from my last job and my boss (in the middle of the firing) said sometimes one door closes so another can open.
    And God is there. And he’s listening. He’s there for *you.* Keep the faith.

  20. Headless Mom

    I prayed for you that day when I heard that you would find strength in Him to get through this and that He would reveal Himself to you now, when you most need it.
    I will continue to pray for all of you!

  21. crookedeyebrow

    Along the same lines, keep the faith and everything will work out. It sucks to say that and it’s hard to believe, but things will start looking up for you all.

  22. Megan

    Keep the faith lady! God is good and His promises are true. He will be faithful and get you through this.
    Interestingly enough, the sermon at church yesterday was about how if you want to be a person of prayer the first thing to do is ask God to make you want to pray. Keep praying for your faith to grow and it will!
    If you need some encouragement, you can check it out here:

  23. Mama DB

    Hopefully he will keep his “replacement job” through Friday, at the very least. That will be August 1st and you will be covered for health insurance through the end of August then. I know this isn’t very comforting but good to know ahead of time, perhaps? Not that you would have a choice but there it is.
    I’ll be thinking of you guys.

  24. Groovy Mom

    I know exactly how you feel. I had that bedroom conversation with my husband a few years ago. I was scared too. It sucks. BUT, as you can guess it was okay. It took years for us to get back to where we didn’t have to watch every dime, but we’re okay now. I just wish I could have known then that it would be fine instead of spending that time when he was unemployed fighting with him because I didn’t think he was looking hard enough for a job.

  25. elise

    First of all, I seriously doubt that these will be the last thoughts about the LayOff ’08. I mean holy hell, they wouldn’t be MY last thoughts! I had Major Thoughts about our great LayOff ’05 for a looooong time – I STILL have thoughts about that sometimes! Mainly when I drive by the house of the douche who DID the laying off. I have plenty of Thoughts then. So. Don’t pressure yourself to not have anymore Thoughts about this issue! It’s major! It’s okay to have the Thoughts!
    Secondly, you are awesome. I am so glad you have decided to have faith that the Lord is GOING to take care of you guys through this, because He will. He knows the exact number of hairs on your head, He takes care of the trees and the flowers and knows when they live and die and for how long and what purpose they have served and everything else. He provides for the birds; their food, the instinct to nest, their babies – and He tells us to remember that He cares about us SO MUCH MORE than the birds and the flowers and the trees.
    Whew. I just read that and it sounds super hippie-ish and weird, but all I really mean is that the Lord will take care of you. And I’m so glad you believe that.

  26. Wendy

    Also, if you lose your healthcare and have already been told you are sick, you may be able to get Medicaid. I’m not sure, but it’s something to look in to.

  27. dana michelle

    I forgot to add this to my prior post.
    One of the best things that came out of my layoff was that my brother-in-law GAVE me an entire computer set-up so I could job hunt, and one day when I was searching for something, I came across this strange thing called a BLOG. And after reading it and linking to a few of the other blogs this person read, I came across this wonderfully well-written blog by the name of “Aged and Confused”. And the rest is history. I’ve been following you since then. I’ve seen you come through so much, and I know you’ll get through this, too.

  28. lisa

    i read every single post of yours, and wait with bated breath for the next one, but have never commented. i’m shy. =)
    but i have to tell you-i’m so freakin’ proud of you! you are just one tough cookie. and i admire you and pighunter for the marriage you have built together and the beautiful home you have given to your three children. i am in awe of you.
    hugs and all the best wishes in the world.

  29. Wacky Mommy

    You know how God is — always shutting doors and opening windows. You just have to remember to fly, not jump out of them. Y’all have each other and that is a beautiful thing.
    I know that temp agencies get a bad rap, but I’ve landed a few good permanent gigs that way, including one that lasted 8 years and led me to the work I am loving doing today.
    (going to light my candles for you now.)

  30. Tuesday

    I understand. My husband lost his job when I was 5 months pregnant and that was 7 months ago. He still has no job despite having 10+ years of experience in his sales field.
    We will lose everything our house our cars, it is just a matter of time.

  31. shokufeh

    I’m so sorry for you and the stress you’re going through. This is major. Yet you seem to be handling it with grace, and all that implies.
    I’m also happy for you because this spiritual crisis/renewal thing you’ve got going is exciting and well-timed. Things may not work out the way you want them to, or expect them to, but they will work out.
    I’ll keep you all in my prayers.
    “O God! Refresh and gladden my spirit. Purify my heart. Illumine my powers. I lay all my affairs in Thy hand. Thou art my Guide and my Refuge. I will no longer be sorrowful and grieved; I will be a happy and joyful being. O God! I will no longer be full of anxiety, nor will I let trouble harass me. I will not dwell on the unpleasant things of life.
    O God! Thou art more friend to me than I am to myself. I dedicate myself to Thee, O Lord.”

  32. Jean

    Y, I’m a lurker who may have commented once or twice. But I’m here to tell you, it will be ok. I got laid off twice within a year (and this was after 9/11 when work was scarce) and I found new jobs, both times, within a month. It was horrible feeling sick all the time, but I got thru it. Faith will help you to be strong, and He will help you to find the right opportunities. It will be ok.
    Now for some practicalities….
    If he should lose this other job, have him apply for unemployment immediately, don’t waste one minute.
    Check out Angel Food ministries for food, decent food for very little money. They are all over the place.
    Take whatever job you can find to help your family. Make sure he’s around to watch the kids when you’re at work.
    Shop sales for food, plan your menus. Tell picky eaters that this is the meal and that’s it.
    Most of all, take a few minutes to breath every day, to appreciate your wonderful husband and your beautiful children and know that the internets are sending love and prayers your way.

  33. Chris

    Okay, I usually lurk but today I’m posting. I don’t know when you’ll see this, but I know you live in California, but are you in SoCal? If you email me I can forward info from my husband’s employer who is hiring for all kinds of different things throughout SoCal. I don’t want to get into here but email me if you’re interested. It’s a great, state run company. My husband has been with the for 23 years now. Let me know. I’ve been in your situation and understand completely. Prayers for you and yours…

  34. AlwaysCurious

    I’m so sorry for this hard time you’re going through and I hope you know that there are hundreds (probably thousands) of people that read your blog every day that are praying for you.
    Also, I had an idea for part time employment for you. I don’t know if you have a degree or some type of skill you’re trying to use, but if you really just want something random to make ends meet, have you considered Starbucks? Don’t laugh… The money is not great (obviously), but it’s something, and they have ROCKIN’ healthcare that you only have to work part time to get. (Not to mention all the free venti iced caramel latte’s with EXTRA caramel and whip cream you can drink!) 🙂

  35. Overflowing Brain (Katie)

    I’m just so sorry. I am amazed at your attitude and optimism because I don’t have that kind of strength. You might not feel like it, but you do inspire a lot of people.
    I have to be honest though, the Disneyland thing just absolutely breaks my heart. I know you’re not asking for it and I don’t have a lot of money, but if you’d take it, I’d offer it for Gabby. I went to Disneyland with my 4 year old cousin last month and there’s just nothing in the world like it.
    I’m just so sorry and I hope that something really extraordinarily great happens soon.

  36. Kandace

    I cried.
    I cried because I am scared for you. I am scared for me and I am scared for our family. Right about now you are looking at me like I have one eye because HELLO this is about you and your family not me.
    But, I am crying because we too just faced a lay off with major medical issues. I, however, was the one laid off but my job not only made ends meet it also provided healthcare for the kids and me. (I, like your husband, work in the construction field and well it hits construction first. Also, construction is the first to pick back up.)
    Also, I was able to keep my insurance through the company for as long as I needed but I wasn’t able to file for unemployment. Anyway, my situation has turned around as fast as it went in the shitter and I have faith your situation may turn around for the better as well.
    Thinking and praying, Y! I really am. And, I also struggle with my beliefs but I know that the power of prayer is AMAZING. Hang in there.

  37. Kyla

    The only things I can think to say are trite and cliche. But know this, my heart broke for you reading this…I could feel you devastation and worry, and I am just hoping right alongside you that things will work out, somehow.

  38. stacy

    Delurking to second the Starbucks suggestion. My honey works for them, and they do have amazing benefits. I believe you only have to work something like 20 hours a week to be eligible for health benefits (not certain if that applies to spouse/dependents at part-time level, or just the employee), stock, and other assorted benefits. Also, in addition to free beverages while working and within a certain amount of time before/after your shift, employees are eligible for a pound of free coffee beans each week, not to mention the employee discount. Um, yeah, so that last one does kind of defeat the purpose of not spending money…but still: fun part-time job during evening hours, possible health benefits, and free caffeine. What’s not to love?

  39. Ryley

    I know your just pretending again.. but you sound strong.. you sound like you are going to be okay..and if pretending is what it takes to actually make yourself feel better.. than keep pretending.. and dont give up your faith.. I know sometimes i find myself having a conversation in my head about how dumb it is that i believe.. or that i have faith.. “what do i have to show for it” i say to myself sometimes.. Some how I must have myself tricked that God can only listen when I invite him SERIOUSLY. try to stay possitive.. k?
    And dont forget how many people will do anything to help you.. I garuntee every single person that reads this would send you at least $10 if you asked them too… If something happens.. you set up a paypall account..and we’ll all take care of you!! 🙂
    (say’s the girl that has eaten Ramen for a week because she’s so out of money and has a baby on the way!!)

  40. Renee

    Keep holding on to your faith. Belive that you will get through this and know there are lots of us out there thinking and praying for you.

  41. Tammy

    Y. I know you did’nt ask, but I’m praying for you and your family! Something will come thru for you and your husband, keep the faith girl! Good things are to come your way, you are due for sure! Hugs from Fort Worth!

  42. vickie

    thanks for your posts, i always come here and feel you are being real, and your writing always lifts me up somehow wether it’s a laugh or just relating to our human drama. I sincerely hope things turn up for you and your family. we’ve been there and looking back the something always comes through, we always thanks God.
    p.s. the starbucks thing sounds promising!

  43. Lisa Milton

    Whenever I come by here, I am always struck by your honesty and the way you put it all out there.
    During 2001/2002, two companies my husband worked for – one right after the other – collapsed and I spilled many tears on my then 7 month old’s head; cried while playing with my daughter.
    I got an evening job and he took a big cut. It was hard; I won’t lie to you. I had serious health problems at the time and somehow we pulled through.
    I wish and pray the same for you and your family during the crappy time. You’re in my thoughts.

  44. Twenty Four At Heart

    We went thru something similar a few years back. What I remember most about it is the gut-clenching fear. You will get through it though … honestly, very few families don’t go thru this same thing at some point. Which does not make it any less scary when you’re the one going through it. Also? Get ready for all the people who will dismiss your fears and concerns and tell you that you need to be more supportive of your husband, stay cheerful for him and stop complaining. Man, I hated the people who said that … and many did. When someone gets laid off … the whole family has been laid off. It happens to you as much as it has happened to him. I will be pulling for you and your family to get through this!

  45. girlplease

    I get it. I’ve been there in 2003 (remember?) minus the kids though. We too were scrambling figuring out how to save. I got super lucky we leased my car and the due date was up anyway so no car payment. It killed not only to lose my job but to have no car. Then we were looking into selling anything we could–electronics and even my engagement ring (which I love). In 3 months I went through my entire savings and lived off of unemployment while searching for work for 8 months. I finally got a break here and there with freelance work (and it’s called padding hours). Shit I even sold cheese (aka “would you like a sample”) at the grocery store. Maybe you should check it out. As a Boars Head “sample girl” I made $100 a day for 4 hours. It was something (tax free since we knew the guy).
    What I’m trying to say is somehow, someway, we made it. I don’t know how to this day and I never, ever want to repeat it but seriously, we made it.
    You will too. I’m sure you’re tired of hearing all of the “you’ll be fine” feedback but I will say it is amazing what is possible when shit hits the fan.
    Good luck, much love, and I’ll be thinking of you and your family.

  46. Michelle

    Wow. I totally feel you girl – my mom struggled plenty of times to keep taking care of me through high school. But don’t sound so down – things haven’t gotten bad yet. You gotta keep your optimism full-force. Don’t fake it, or it won’t work.

  47. Rachael

    I almost made it through your post without crying, but then I got to the Disneyland part and I couldn’t help it. I’m so sorry – it’s amazing how many people have to deal with this kind of situation, and it is so, so scary. I went through it earlier this year and it was really, really tough. It still is, since new job pays 40% of what old job paid. But we’re okay. I truly have faith that you’ll be okay too. (HUGS)

  48. Texan Mama

    Whoa you are so ahead of the game and you don’t even know it. You are right – God is not a magical genie. He will give you faith to get through this. It may be rough, it may seem like there is nothing else and you are at the bottom of the barrel. But you have Him and more importantly He has you. He has you in his loving embrace. He is holding you right now. He has even led you to Him in this important time. You know him not by your own strength but by the strength he has buried deep inside you from the moment you were in your mother’s womb. Everyone else may turn away from you and your whole world may crash down around you but your Lord will always be there for you. No questions asked. No matter how crappy you act. No matter if you want Him there or not. He’s there. He won’t let you down. He may have some really hard lessons, not that you need to be taught lessons, but we all are learning every day. Try to stick with him and keep the faith because you will be SO comforted by it.

  49. Susan

    I live about 2.5-3 hours north of you in the desert. Yes, the weather sucks and there isn’t much to do, but housing is cheap compared to where you are, and they’re building like crazy because our Navy base won a BRAC contract and are expecting hundreds of jobs up here from the other half of our base in Point Mugu. Also, our base is always hiring. If you ever want more info, e-mail me. It’s a safe/nice place to live & raise kids, and the people are awesome. And, your family would still only be a few hours away. Something to think about.

  50. DogsDontPurr

    ((Hugs)) I know exactly what you are going through. Alan lost his job of 20 without any warning. We were in complete shock. But gradually we are struggling our way back.
    My few pieces of advice:
    1. Definitely get unemployment. Don’t wait. It’s easy, and you can do it online for the most part.
    2. For health insurance, ask his employer about COBRA. Depending on how you’re covered now, that can keep you going for about a year, maybe longer.
    3. Also for health insurance, Kaiser has a thing called the Steps Program. You can get the same insurance you have now, but the cost is based on your income level. I think you can be eligible for this even if you’re on COBRA.
    4. If you can qualify for food stamps, you might as well. It doesn’t give you much, but every little bit counts when you’re in a squeeze.
    Good luck. Don’t be afraid to take advantage of all the resources available that are out there. After all, even Ed McMahon is in financial straights! These are hard times!

  51. JoAnn

    Something my aunt said to me when my son was born with a serious heart defect- “If God brings you to it, he’ll bring you through it.” I hung on those words. Faith. And the power of prayer. You will get through it and you will come out the other side stronger than ever!

  52. Jennifer (Et Tu?)

    What a great post.
    Interestingly, when I first started exploring the idea of God a couple years ago (after lifelong atheism), we also ended up in an absolutely disastrous financial + medical crisis. Our business was failing, we’d cleared out all our savings accounts, and to top it all off I ended up with a life-threatening blood clot during pregnancy and we didn’t have insurance that covered maternity — so instead of a cheap midwife birth we ended up with a $14,000 high-risk hospital birth. And we were broke to begin with!!
    All this is to say…I can totally relate. And, though it was one of the most difficult things we’ve ever gone through, in the end it brought both me and my husband closer to God than anything else. I look back on it as almost an oddly magical time (though I certainly didn’t see it that way then).
    I will be eagerly awaiting your updates…and praying for you.

  53. the new girl

    Unbelievable. I am so, so sorry that all this crap is happening to you, one right after the other.
    When you come out on the other side, it will be just a memory of an incredibly hard time in your life, but STILL.
    You need a BREAK, girl.

  54. Lulu

    Big hugs to you from Nor. CA! I enjoy reading your funny pearls of wisdom and I am soooo sorry that life is not funny right now 🙁

  55. Marilyn

    I’m a big believer in that no one can really know all there is to know about faith and how to keep it. But I think you are on the right track. Keep with it. I will pray for you and for your family and for a good solution for you all. Please keep us updated. I would hug you if I could.

  56. Tammy

    So sorry about your situation Y. You are an amazing woman and you will get through this.
    I know from your about me section that you love coupons. Have you heard of HCW? It’s an amazing site and if you have a strapped income, it is such a blessing to be able to read about coupon deals on the site and get things for free. I am currently taking care of my three children on my own, but because of this site, they will NEVER be hungry! Ever. Please email me if you want more information on the site.
    You will get through this. You are too strong a woman not to.

  57. Maria

    I’m not a believer, but I believe. You are too wonderful of a person for this not to turn positive for.
    And look at the Grocery Game. I think it’s, I’m not sure. But with that and the local paper every Sunday, a crap load of my friends have cut their grocery bills in 1/2 each month. 🙂

  58. elteegee

    Y by all means fix the Donate link on your page so some of us can help you out!

  59. Tammy

    You have to pay for the site. You can get the same information and more for free on other sites. HCW is one and if I have survey money in my paypal account I would be willing to pay for a subscription to RefundCents for Y. It’s cheaper than the grocerygame site and it has more information.

  60. Rachel

    I just wanted to say that I appreciate you sharing this crazy heavy experience with us. Your golden balls of determination are a huge inspiration for my life, and the lives of many others.
    Wear your badge of courage proudly.

  61. Kate

    I know you have the insurance coverage now, but if I might suggest – call and get the paperwork for your states children’s health insurance program & get them covered through it. If your husband’s income has been cut, it’s likely the kids will qualify (the program is income based, but not poverty based). The paperwork – like all paperwork – is a major pain in the patooty, but the coverage is generally top-notch. Wish I had an answer for the work and your own health insurance long-term. My own husband is laid off and I have been without insurance for (gulp) four years. The situation is impossible. The economy leaves us all wondering what the answer will be.
    Our best to you and yours…

  62. Tammy

    That donate button has been fixed everyone … may I suggest everyone join me in paypal and show Y how much we love her and how much her blog means to us???

  63. Alison

    n-thing getting a job at Starbucks. My sister worked there all through college and loved it, and says it’s a really good company to work for. 20 hours a week, and you’ve got insurance PLUS a pound of free coffee to bring home every week. I have heard that it’s a little big culty/brother-like (a friend who worked for them told me that from the home office, they can watch the security cam, with audio, of any store in the country), but eh. They’re entitled, I guess.

  64. Nic

    Y I was thinking about you. It may be because I’ve had a lot of yummy yummy wine, but still, we’re going to think positive things.
    The title of your blog, Joy Unexpected, I think is the biggest reason ever for you to have faith. Joy is really lurking around every corner. Here you’ve been expecting it for a while. Ride out the storm baby. It’s gonna be okay and you already know it.

  65. Barb

    You will pull through this because you have children and you will do whatever it takes to see their needs are met. Some days will be better than others but in the end you just put one foot in frontof the other and keep moving forward. I’ve been where you are now and I know that fear. Keep the faith and be there for one another. You can and will get through this.

  66. Jessica

    I’m sorry that it seems like everything is falling apart but I hope that it all comes back together again. I know just how you feel with struggling to make it work when the bottom falls out. I’m nine months pregnant and my BF left his job with insurance last month and I’m wondering how it’s all going to pan out. But sometimes all you can do is believe. God works miracles everyday.

  67. Kellie

    Delurking to say a) I love your blog b) I’m so, so sorry this is happening to your family and c) well, I don’t know.
    We’re facing a similar situation with my husband’s employer. He works for a huge utility company and their current contract expires Saturday at midnight. He may go to work Monday or he may be on a strike. Whether that strike is 2 hours, 2 days, 2 weeks or 2 months, I’m nervous. I sleep like crap, I’m on edge all. the. time. and rather than NOT eat, all I do is seem to eat. No money means we could lose things. No contract means no health insurance.
    What IS my point?! I don’t know. I never comment here because I always feel like I’ll be the dumbass that says something stupid, but yet….this post MADE me comment.
    I wish I could help you. I wish I could send you the little bit of money we’ve managed to set aside in case of a strike. I wish I could make it all better.
    But, I can’t. Instead, I’ll read your posts and hope everything works out.

  68. gorillabuns

    I’m so sorry for all your stress. I understand so much. My husband is self-employed in the housing sector. Let me just say, I worry every month if we are going to be able to pay for our mortgage and health insurance. These times truly suck.

  69. Babybloomer

    Another vote for Angel Food– it’s for ANYBODY, there’s no qualifying or anything, and it is a good amount of food (not like just peanut butter and rice, real food– some fresh stuff, mostly frozen but not crap) for only like $30 a box.
    I am VERY well acquainted with Angel Food on a personal basis, they are good people with a great idea. Check it out online, you’ll be able to find a place in your area, no problem.
    Joining my faith with yours.

  70. michellew

    Coming out of perpetual lurk to say that I so hope that things get better for you.
    For what it’s worth, I really enjoy your writing.

  71. jeanie

    I remember when things were bad and well-intentioned people saying (to all intents and purposes) that god must be trying me. I call BS on that.
    I don’t think god sends us tests – but is there to help us by giving us strength to get through.
    I hope you find all the strength that you need.

  72. Working At Home Today

    Being both freelancers, my hubs and I know what it means to keep the faith. He’s had to talk me down a few times. It just always seems to work out in the end.
    One thing: My crock pot was my most precious money-saving purchase. If you’re going to be working lots, you might appreciate a good 8-hour slo-cook meal.

  73. Amy

    Y, I have been reading your blog for (it seems) forever, but have never posted.
    But today I just had to.
    I am so sorry that your wonderful family is facing this, what seems to be an all-too-common happening lately, but your attitude in dealing with it is so wonderful and strong and HUMAN. I could only hope that I could handle such a situation with your grace and wisdom.
    My husband and I (with a 2 year old girl and another on the way) have just in the last year become a two income family. He was a freelance actor/director/musician that for that past 10 years worked maybe 20 weeks out of the year, earning maybe $6,000 in that year. I was solely responsible for keeping a job with health coverage and trying desperatly to pay off my law school loans and his graduate school loans and buy our first home. There were many times that we lived on mac and cheese and sandwiches and water. We are going to spend the next 5 years repairing the financial damage of the previous 7 years, and so I think I can understand a little of the stress you are feeling right now.
    Keep strong and keep your smile about you.
    lots of love-

  74. Assertagirl

    This week we cancelled most of our extra cable services, shut down the business phone line and my husband took a second job delivering pizzas. We’re in our 30s. This shit should be over with by now.
    You’re such an amazing, strong lady, Y. I hope things will get better and I’m glad you have your faith to see you through this.

  75. Randi

    I hope things get better Y – I truly do! I know how it feels to do “everything right” and to still have huge problems pop up. Best of luck!!!

  76. san

    kim introduced me to your blog a while ago and i have been a secret reader for a while. i am de-lurking now, because i want to say that a) it’s a shame that i didn’t get to meet you at blogher and b) that i really feel for you and your family.
    i come from a country with a relatively well-functioning social system and the fears that you’re facing would probably be the same over there, but at least you wouldn’t lose health insurance and get unemployment pay for your husband until you can straigthen things out again.
    i am keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

  77. AmyM

    A long time ago, someone told me that when you pray for something (faith ,for example), God doesn’t give you that quality, but the circumstances that would require you to use it. It was after I heard that I stopped praying for patience.
    I know you and your family will be ok, no matter what happens. You are creative and resilient. You, Y, are a survivor and because of that, you will make it. I hope better times are headed your way so that you can rest.

  78. Jeanette

    This may be God’s way of showing you that there are things in life we cannot do with out His help-continue to have faith. If you cry out to Him, he WILL be there for you.

  79. Leah

    Faith is awesome. Rely on God for all your needs, humble your self before him, he will answer.

  80. Jessie P.

    Y – I work for a large construction company that has a couple of offices in California. Shoot me an email when you get a chance.

  81. ali

    we went through this too. i was pregnant and we had just bought our house. it sucks. it sucks sooo bad. but then? it worked out. gabe got a BETTER job…it will work out for you!! i KNOW it will!

  82. Eliza

    More internet HUGS for you, Y.
    I’m the breadwinner for a family of four and lost my job last March. Made it through 7 months on unemployment and a very part-time job under the table. Just as I wondered how I was going to pay December’s rent (not even thinking about Christmas!) I got the best job ever!
    I was scared and stressed. And, seemingly at the last minute, it turned around.
    And things will turn around for you as well. Don’t be afraid to cry. Don’t be afraid to reach out. Don’t lose too much hope.

  83. zdoodlebub

    Your last sentence sums it up. Perhaps faith is merely a coping mechanism. I don’t believe that for a second, but I can submit to the idea that others believe that. If it is just a coping mechanism, then fine. I need it. I’d rather live in a space of faith, hope and love any day. It’s better than the alternative.
    Prayers are with you. You’re amazing family will get through it, you will flourish through this.

  84. ella

    Good luck to you and your family.
    I know how hard it is to lose your job and have to look for another. I got laid off last November. And it SUCKS ASS! But I survived.
    Just remember God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. It may seem like it at the time but there is something better out there for Pig Hunter and your family.

  85. mandy

    I think you are so right on, the ultimate test. And it is. I am going through something very similar. Every once in a while, we will get to a point where something HAS to happen, or we can’t buy groceries..I mean-down to the nitty gritty! Something happens, and keeps us afloat. I know it is GOD, I have totally put our situation in His hands. I persue employment wherever I feel led, but it is so tough in my area. I have been out of work since losing my job nearly 2 years ago. I had a great job, and so did my husband..I lost mine and he was demoted and eventually had to take a lower paying job. AFTER we had purchased a home that required us both to work. We have TRIED to sell it for these 2 years, with nothing. I have applied at grocery stores as cashiers, wal-mart…everywhere I could work 2nd or 3rd shifts, and NOTHING. I have no idea what to do from here..but, I just got notice in the mail that the government is extending unempl benefits for those who qualify from 06-07-I qualify. That is 3 mo of making ends meet, that we would NOT have had without that. I had no idea how we would survive. My husband is working 7 days a week, with a side job he works on every single day off he has. I babysit to help out, but make very little. We went from abundance to nothing in a very short time. I knew God wanted to show us something, humility and trusting him. We are and we do, we have no you said. He has never let us down, we have never been hungry, I always have diapers…etc.
    Sorry to be so long winded, but I wanted you to know how God has worked in our lives when we put it in his hands..
    Cutting costs (some things we did): Suspended our cable-the company allows up to 6 mo a year without paying a penalty! Cut our internet connection speed( I hadn’t even realized we were paying for the highest service), lowered cell plans, No meals out, no starbucks, no fast food, no unnecessary trips to waste gas, traded a pricey vehicle for a much less exp one-which also lowered our car insurance, examined every bill and contacted cc company to negotiate lower rates!! It worked! We save so much, but we are still in the red each mo by a LOT.
    Somehow, we get refunds in the mail, or checks from this or that, tax refunds…etc!! You will make it. I think you are so on the right track and you will not be sorry you put your faith in the only one who really will help you through.

  86. Amy

    Hey Y. I’m so sorry to hear this news, and I will be sending you and T all kinds of good vibes and positive energy. Something will turn up. It has to.

  87. Elin

    Please, people, this is going to get much worse. If you do not have six months of salary in savings … if the thought of you or your partner losing their job sends you into an immediate blind panic … you should not be even THINKING of taking your kid to Disneyland. You are over-leveraged and that puts you in peril.

  88. Y

    The positive thoughts from all of you really are helping to keep ME positive. Thank you.
    And Elin…the thought of losing medical insurance will absolutely send me into a blind panic because I have major health problems right now and um, exactly on the Disneyland thing. I had saved for that trip, but will not be going now. Thanks for pointing out the obvious!

  89. Lar

    Y, when I read your post yesterday, I said a prayer for you, and even got a little mad at God–I asked Him why you’re struggling so much when you’re obviously searching for Him, and would he please step in and give you a break! Then you wrote this post today, with so much faith, and it made me cry. Thank you for that lesson.
    As far as the layoff goes–been there, done that TWICE. The first time my husband lost a job, I immediately made pickles (. . . I don’t know why). The second time, I cried every day for several months (long story). But now, we’re better off that we ever were, and I believe that God took something bad and brought something wonderful out of it. I pray that He does the same for you and your family, that you’ll end up much better off than before. God bless–

  90. elteegee

    OK, peeps! Donate button is fixed! Let’s put our money where our keyboards are! We love Y, we love her blog we want to help her and her family get through this tough time so let’s sends her some cash, moola, dough and dinero! We all know she is too modest and dorky to ask her self so let’s step up to the plate and do it anyway because we know that while advice and supportive comments are lovely and helpful and heartfelt, them’s do not pays tha billz. Give a buck, give five bucks, give ten bucks, give whatevah because there are so many of us every little bit helps and will add up to something that will make a difference. DO-nate DO-nate! Let’s helpa a sistah out! W00t!

  91. C

    I’m actually in the same boat right now with my husband (and insurance holder) losing his job. I’m trying not to angst over it because I know that will do me no good, but these are definitely trying times. I hope everything works out.

  92. dana michelle

    Just heard about the earthquake on the news and came right over here to see if you were OK. Saw the box on the right with your “twitter” notes. I’m so glad you are allright!!!!!
    You do NOT need a friggen earthquake right now. Geez!

  93. rebecca

    praying for you. He tells us all we need is the faith of a mustard seed to move mountains. keep praying and keep having faith. no problem is too big (or small) for him.

  94. cindy

    Speaking from experience, things will work themselves out. Between us, my husband and I have been through two company closures and two layoffs due to lack of funding, loss of work overseas, the poor state of the industry, etc. We’ve moved to New York, New England and finally ended up back in the Midwest. The first time he lost his job was when the company shut down 20 days after we moved into a new apartment, and we knew we’d have to move away for him to find profitable work. The thought of moving again when we had just moved all that stuff was overwhelming. And every time we moved I had to start over looking for a new job. But each time we worked it out, and his job finally seemed stable enough for us to finally get our first house last fall, seven years after we got married. So even if you go through a time when it seems like there is no hope, take heart in knowing that others have been there and know you can make it work out in the end. Hang in there!

  95. Jakki

    God will allow crap to come at you to bring him closer to Him. Doesnt mean that it will all work out tomorrow but it will work out. Sounds trite but…that is what faith is all about.
    AGAIN…YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU KNOW! Dont ever doubt that.
    Just a suggestion…ever thought of using your gift of photography? I’m telling you, you have a gift. Use it.

  96. Kay

    We have BTDT and felt every emotion you are feeling! I am not going to sugarcoat it because as you are finding out, it is horrifying to find yourself in this situation. Just keep telling yourself it happens. You get through it and I will be cheering you on this end for all to work out and QUICKLY!

  97. Ashley

    I LOVE YOU! And I’m sending so so so much positive enrgy your way—it’s making me tired, of course, but that’s OK. Anytime now, you’re going to start feeling it. Hang in there, sister. There are hills and valleys. That sounded moronic. Love you.

  98. Y

    I love you too, Ashley. And you know, every time I think of “the blue man” and how you were all “I just want to get by.” I still laugh so hard. EVERY TIME.
    p.s. CALL ME!

  99. Suzy Q

    Hugs to you and your family, Y. Can I just say something without getting hit? Maybe consider a job at Starbucks. They have health insurance, even for part-timers.
    Also, last night on a phone call, I used your most awesome phrase “big fat Oprah head.” Love!

  100. jaz

    I’m really sorry you and your family are going thru this, Maybe this will help I work from home as an interpreter, there’s many great job leads there, and they are legit. Hopefully everyhting will get better soon.
    I find myself getting ready to file bankruptcy, but I know everything will work out. Take care, It will get better soon.

  101. Dawn B

    Oh how I feel your worry… I will definitely pray for your family.. Let me tell you, beings that we just got through this crap with construction layoffs (hubby is a drywall finisher) I feel your worry and pain. The economy and construction go completely hand in hand and it sucks. Everything will work out… we’re all pulling for you (meaning= my family plus so many of your readers and the man upstairs).. I know exactly how you feel. I lost my mind with this whole situation so many times. It’s so shitty how quickly it happens, too..job security taken right out under your feet and our family and friends had no idea what to say to us.
    But, regardless of how many days you feel scared and worried, keep having hope and faith because it’ll get you through it all. And I’m not religiousy at all…lol Seriously!

  102. Misty

    I am often in the same position as you in terms of not being able to believe, but things have always worked out when talking to God, or whomever I’m talking to, even when my partner was out of work for 9 months (with 4 kids and a HUGE child support bill for his kids, plus having to pay $700 a month in cobra, it was NOT fun). God did provide, an amazing opportunity for him that allowed us to finally take 50% custody of his kids. Long story short, even if you don’t believe, believe, and ask. And then ask everyone you know if they know of any job openings. If you are interested in sales, we have a telecommuting position open. Sending positive thoughts your way!

  103. Jenny, Bloggess

    Job. You’re like Job. I’m not sure if I’m spelling that right but I think you know who I mean.
    I love, love, love you and if you need anything I’m here. Seriously, I don’t have much to offer but whatever I have is yours.

  104. Mary

    Have you ever thought about freelance photography? And taking photos of children? You are truly talented, and I know that if I lived in Cali. rather than Toronto I’d pay for you to do this fo rme…

  105. Leticia

    Hang in there. I agree with Mary…you need to look into the freelance photography thing. You are very talented.
    Maybe you could open your own ETSY store with some of your prints that you’ve already done. Seriously, consider it. I think you’d be surprised at the interest.

  106. Elin

    “Thanks for pointing out the obvious,” you wrote, and “And Elin…the thought of losing medical insurance will absolutely send me into a blind panic because I have major health problems right now.”
    But that is a bit disingenuous because above you wrote, “How will we pay our bills? How will we feed our children?” That ain’t about health insurance.
    And I know that all we Americans are over a barrel with the health insurance, and it SUCKS.
    BUT — you are too smart to play the victim here. As the family purse holder you have more power than that.
    Here’s the obvious: the housing bubble peaked/popped in 2006. Here it is in 2008 with at least five more years of severe housing slump to go. *Obviously* your husband’s job was in danger. Did you as a couple plan for likely unemployment or a shift to a healthier industry? If not, why not?
    Unless you get 100% of your news from bubblevision, you would have been aware at least a year ago that the US was tipping into a severe recession. This is why I say that OBVIOUSLY, Disneyland should never have been on the table unless you’re boasting a fat savings account to cover your living expenses for months. I’m not talking about Disney-on-credit vs. Disney-paid-for-with-savings.
    And I’m all for faith, but I know with faith comes a lot of emphasis on being an ant and not a grasshopper. Ants don’t go to Disneyland all that often, and especially not when bubbles bursts and industries collapse. Boo, ants don’t have as much fun.
    But you are too smart to be one of those hapless 2008 grasshoppers. Or I wouldn’t be bugging you about this. And if your husband is one of the lucky few destined to get another job at a comparable salary, you have a chance to start fixing this.
    Pissing-off-Y post over, back to our regularly scheduled “You Go Girl!”.

  107. Y

    Am going to respond in email (if it’s the real email address, not too many people leave real email addresses, but yours LOOKS legit.)
    If not, well, email me so I can respond there rather in the comments section again.

  108. Shamelessly Sassy

    So I normally lurk, except for the time I left a comment telling you to pray I got my period (which worked, hell yeah). But I thought I’d comment to tell you I’m sending good vibes your way and will keep your family in my thoughts.

  109. gwendomama

    umm wow. i guess we also so OBVIOUSLY have screwed up our lives, futures, children. I’m not sure what to do anymore. When I look at the facts: my husband was laid off 10 mos ago/has sporadic contracts, we have no health insurance as we are both self employed, and we don’t own our own home.
    With all that trouble and no solutions but my own brain, I guess I should fucking throw in the towel.
    Should I choose the cliff? Should I give my children the Koolaid or just off myself so they can live knowing i was such a failure as a person and parent.
    so anyway, you go Y. GO GO GO! even if people try and beat you down with clubs. You will be fine.

  110. dana

    Oh, Y….I’m so sorry to hear this news. I remember this feeling all too well after I lost my job. That sick pit of the stomach thing is so hard to get through.
    I’m keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
    Chin up, sweetie. I truly believe that things will get better. I’ll pray for sooner rather than later.

  111. Dawn B

    About Elin’s comment:
    Okay, so it sounds like you are a regular reader of Y’s blog.. but I have to admit, I’m kind of pissed off about your comment. Unless you have a husband or significant other, or hell if even you yourself work in the construction business you have idea what you’re talking about when it comes to being a committed construction worker (a very good job, also). I take this to heart, because you word it all like she should have predicted this layoff.
    It’s impossible to predict things like this. Construction and the economy, yes, go hand in hand. No doubt about that. But sometimes, it’s not always the case depending on the company you work for- whether it be unionized or not, goverment work or not, etc. When you work in construction and it’s a good pay and good benefits and then less and less bids for new jobs come in SO FAST..seriously, how can you expect people to see a layoff coming out of left field? My family just went through the same exact situation and let me tell ya.. no matter how calm, cool, and collected you think you are usually, finding out that no decent sized income coming in with make you feel like you’re going nuts. Your whole world shakes beyond belief (worse than the recent earthquake in CA) and when you have kids…my’s crazy.
    Your security is taken away and let’s face it- when you have kids you need security.
    I agree with your “grasshopper” and “ant” analogy though. 100%. But, with needing a vacation and then knowing it ain’t happening..well..there’s a cause to mourn there. We were supposed to go to Florida this past spring and didn’t because of the layoff stuff. I’m still trying to get over it because we planned it for so long..and cheaply.. and it sucks that we won’t get to see our FL family.
    Well, anyway..that’s my rant.

  112. Dawn B

    I also have to point out that it’s easy to say that everyone should have months and months of their salary put away “in case of”..but holy shit.. if you have kids that are young, yeah… it’s easier said than done. Especially if you have a blue-collar type of job. We are still scrambling to afford schooling for ourselves to get beyond that but you have to take one thing at a time. And saving months and months of one’s salary takes TIME, also. I absolutely hate the attitude of “well… shoulda been more prepared”. Whatever. I wouldn’t want pity, either. But the nonchalant attitude is just as bad.

  113. Y

    Thanks, Dawn.
    Also? the thing about Disneyland.
    Give me a break.
    My daughter told me she wanted to go do Disneyland when she turned 4. So I put some money away and was going to take her there instead of having a birthday party. We never spend money on vacations or random family trips to Disneyland, but you bet your ass I’ll save up to take her for her birthday. There’s NOTHING wrong or irresponsible about that.
    Now, if I were going to spend the money knowing what I know now, that would be irresponsible, but I’m not, so what gives?
    But honestly? That’s the last I’m going to say about it. Comments are now closed because well… just because.
    Thanks again to every one for the support and encouragement during these scary times.

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