No Wonder People are Ignoring Me on Twitter.

“I miss the happy/funny Yvonne.. where is she!?! Please come back!”

This comment was left by my cousin on a post I had written on Facebook.

I haven’t stopped thinking about it ever since I read it. It’s true, I haven’t been myself since my son left for boot camp. And especially since he was injured and placed in medical recovery.

I’m finding it hard to sleep at night. I toss and turn until I can’t stand it anymore. So, I get out of bed and do laundry, or watch re-runs of The Office. Or eat flaming hot cheetos.
The lack of sleep is starting to take a toll on my body and it sucks. I know my son being away isn’t the end of the world, but being away from him for so long (45 days and counting) is wearing on me. I’m tired, bloated, sad, and not very much fun to be around (or to be friends with on Facebook, or to follow on Twitter.)

I don’t want to be this way. I want to find joy in every day life and be happy and start taking care of myself again, but I can’t seem to find the motivation.

The day Andrew left for boot camp, I stopped going to my fitness boot camp. And boy, does it show. I’ve not felt good physically, which wears on me mentally and hello, Vicious Cycle. I was hoping to pick it back up, but Ethan’s travel ball is depleting my checking account and so it’s just not financially possible. I decided to stop sulking about not being able to afford boot camp and start running again. Luckily, I have a friend who’s willing to do it with me. I’m hoping once I start moving my body regularly again, some of these sad feelings will begin to disappear and I will start feeling more like myself again.

If that doesn’t work, there’s always alcohol.

(edited to add: Please don’t mistake the title of this post to mean that I feel like people are ignoring me or not being supportive. In fact, quite the opposite. I could not imaging going through this WITHOUT you guys. I’ve received the kindest, moving loving comments and emails. I am so grateful. It’s just… all of my tweets and Facebook updates are so SAD PANDA and I was re-reading them before I wrote this post and thinking how annoying this must be for people to read. I love my readers, except for the one asshole who keeps calling my son fat. I don’t love you.)

16 thoughts on “No Wonder People are Ignoring Me on Twitter.

  1. Dawn

    I miss the funny Yvonne but only because my heart hurts for Yvonne the Marine mom and the worry she is going through. I love both Yvonnes, though.

  2. Jen

    Maybe you’re not the “fun Y” right now but you know what? You don’t have to be. That said, I do hope you get to feeling better. I think about you and Andrew OFTEN. xo

    1. Y Post author

      Thanks, Jen. Your thoughts are appreciated. I hope to be back to myself very soon. I miss having fun with my friends.

  3. Kristine

    My daughter has been gone for 10 months. She will finally be home in 11 days. She’s not in the military and I don’t even dare try to imagine the anguish and fear you’re going through. It’s real though…all that is happening is something that you do need to address. Please look into support groups. If you don’t need the the ‘support’ group, but just something that ties you to others that are going through this so you feel less alone. My friend, Birdie who’s son is in the Navy makes pillowcases for the enlisted and I think it keeps her sane and not crazy from missing her son. Look into some groups and read up on what you’re going through. You’re a smart woman, you’ll do fine. *hug*

    1. Y Post author

      10 months?! Wow. I’m glad she’ll be home soon!

      You know, I definitely need to focus my energy on doing something helpful for others during this time instead of sitting around, being sad.

      1. Kristine

        Yep. College and a new job. It costs 500 bucks for her to fly home and that would require getting time off…it’s a mess. It’s the longest we have been apart. She turned 19 in Virginia and it was the first birthday we haven’t hung out together. Now that I know she’s coming home for a month, I have been a crying mess. Held it together for a long time, but now it’s hitting me how much I missed her.

  4. daniel

    I bet you miss the happy/fun Yvonne too. I bet you miss your son even more. You know what? Screw ’em. If they can’t stick with you when you’re down, they aren’t friends and you don’t need ’em.

  5. Kennalb

    I was a Marine (still am, once a Marine, always a Marine), a female one, but the same training, so I get it. He is disappointed and you are too, but trust me, nothing is going to take away the pride he will feel when he crosses that parade deck and graduates. It is not the same men he started with, but the one thing about the Marines, we are a family, a life long family. He will meet some new life long friends/family in his new Company and he will bond with them. Once you have a DI yelling at you, or more than one ;), you tend to bond pretty quickly. He is strong because you made him strong, he is tough because you made him tough, he is wonderful because you are a wonderful mother (parents, actually), and this too shall pass. He will go out in the Corps and make you more proud than you can ever imagine. Tell him Semper Fi from a salty old dog, and God Bless.

  6. Wacky Mommy

    These are serious times your family is going through right now, and big changes. If I wanted some perky, fakey story, I’d go watch a sitcom. Thank you for being open and sharing with us. OK, I’ll work out today if you will, deal? Deal!

  7. Michelle

    Maybe it’s weird but I’m sort of glad you’re sharing some of the down, you are going through a tough transition. I wish I had a magic wand to wave and make things better for both of you but I’m over here on the east coast rooting real hard for you to find your happy place again.

    Hugs across the miles. . .

  8. Leah

    You have always been real. And right now its a down season. You will be back stronger than ever. Exercise will help too (I hate that it’s true). I am glad you are raw and honest. People can’t have laughter and daisies shooting out their butts all the time.

  9. Rachael

    I know this is a bit past due, but I still wanted to say I like you just the way you are. Your blog is one of my favorites because it is honest and so… just, YOU!

  10. Della

    I’m not on twitter much anymore so I don’t know who is chatty or quiet, or who is happy or sad. I saw your comment on amalah’s post and went OMG there’s a blog I haven’t been to in a while! and ended up here.

    And so I’m just writing to say hi, I saw this, I heard. *hug*

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