Category Archives: Holidays

The Last You’ll Ever Hear About This Party.

“So, how did the Christmas party go? I’m dying to know!”
I can’t tell you how many emails, im’s and dm’s I’ve gotten about my party. (11) It’s crazy! People want to know! And I have meant to write about it for about 2 weeks now, but as you may know by now, I’m not the most disciplined writer. (But that is going to change in 2010. I’m going to write so hard and so well. You’ll see.) However, today is my first day of vacation and aside from cleaning the entire, filthy house before company comes over tonight, (look at me! Opening my home to company AGAIN!) I have nothing but time to write.
The Ugly Christmas Sweater Party.
The invitation that I sent out went a little something like this.
“Please come to our house on the 12th of December for a Christmas party! We’ll have cookie decorating for the kids! We’ll make s’mores by the fire pit! We’ll walk to see the Christmas lights! We’ll drink egg nog and wine! There will be a nacho bar! Wear your ugliest Christmas sweater and we’ll have a prize for the ugliest one! IT WILL BE SO MUCH FUN!”
(I was really excited.)
The response from everyone went exactly like this:
“We can’t wait! It will be so much fun.”
“Our whole family will show up in Christmas sweaters!”
“I am having all of my friends looking for a sweater now!”
“Nachos! CAN’T WAIT!”
With the exception of 6 people, everyone marked “attending.”
We went to Costco and bought everything we needed for The Perfect Nacho Bar (including the Triple Slow Cooker Buffet, which I am still obsessed with.) We bought Pennsylvania Dutch egg nog, wine, tons of sugar cookies, frosting, candy, everything we’d need for s’mores. We set up the ping pong table in the garage.
The day of the party, the first text message came.
“we won’t be able to make it.”
Then another one.
“Please don’t be mad, but we can’t make it.”
Then, another one.
“We’re going to try REALLY HARD to be there, but we probably won’t make it.”
“My wife has to work til 8, so, we probably won’t make it.”
It started to rain.
And not just rain. POUR. It was pouring.
We hoped it clear up, because if it didn’t, there would be no s’mores, there would be no Christmas lights.
The rain never cleared up. In fact, it got worse. Streets were flooding! The first couple to arrive said they almost turned around because of the rain.
At 5:00, we had 4 couples here. 3 of them were family.
(10 had RSVP’d.)
I was the only one wearing a stupid ass Christmas sweater.
The party had failed. It wasn’t anything like I had planned.
People flaked. The weather didn’t cooperate. I looked like an asshole with my sweater.
But, you know? If I’ve learned anything over the past 3 years, it’s that life doesn’t always go the way you planned it. Shit happens. I had a choice. I could pout about everything that went wrong (and pretty much everything went wrong.) Or I could make the best of the situation (not to be confused with The Situation.)
I made the best of it.
It wasn’t the kick ass party I had dreamed it would be, but it turned out to be a lovely evening with friends and family. An evening filled with great conversations, lots of laughter.
And nachos. Pounds and pounds of nachos.
We’ve already decided we’re doing it again next year.

The Christmas Sweater Makes the Song Better

When I saw Neil’s The 2009 Blogger Christmahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concert last year, I felt bummed that I hadn’t participated. I swore that next year, I’d do it.
“Next year” has arrived and well, I did it.

So awful! I know! But! I had the best time doing it.
(My husband, on the other hand, did not. I kept forgetting the words and kept asking him to delete and start over! And he was like “this better not turn into an hour event. I have The Sing Off on pause! Hurry!” Which, basically meant that he’d rather listen to complete strangers sing on TV (more specifically, complete strangers who call themselves “Max Factor” because they are His Girlfriends. All of them.) then listen to his wife sing. But, whatever.)
All this to say, head over to Neil’s to check out the concert! So many awesome performances! It will honestly be worth your time, so go! Now!

Shattered Nacho Bar Dreams

Over the past few months I’ve been evaluating the way that I live my life. I’m not proud of many things in my life and I realized I was shutting people out. So, I decided I was going to make some changes. The first major change was to start opening up my home to family and friends. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m ashamed we’re still renting a home. Even though this home we live in now is much nicer than The House With The Ugly Cabinets, it’s still not what I would want in a home of my own. I could tell you a million things I hate about this house and wish I could change, but, you know, Not My House. I’m tired of living this way though. I’m tired of feeling ashamed about material things (or lack of them.)
I decided to throw a Christmas Party for the first time ever.
I invited old friends, new friends, family.
I came up with a theme! Ugly Christmas Sweater Party! With a nacho bar! And s’mores by the fire pit! And a walk to see the neighborhood Christmas Lights! And cookie decorating for the kids!
I even bought a Triple Slow Cooker Buffet! (Which I did not pay $100, but $50 at Costco. RESPECT THE COSTCO CARD!)
Me and PigHunter spent an entire day thrift shopping looking for the perfect Ugly Christmas Sweater.
I’ve been more excited about this than I’ve been about anything in a very long time.
“Who cares if you don’t have a beautiful house.” I keep telling myself “No one will notice, they’ll only notice the love and laughter!”
Seriously. I’ve been saying things like that.
I’ve sent a couple reminders about the party, as well as directions to my house. But I noticed something kind of odd.
No one was responding to my messages.
“They’re just busy!” I’ve been telling myself.
Then today. I got a message.
“We’re not going to be able to make it. I have to work longer than I thought, you can be mad at me for a while. sorry.”
Then, I started to panic. Maybe everyone is going to cancel! I mean, no one is responding to my messages, maybe they’re all waiting to cancel at the last minute.
So, I sent one last message.
“Please let me know if you’re going to make it. I am starting to get nervous since no one is responding.”
I’ve got one response since then.
“We MIGHT be able to make it, but my wife doesn’t get off til 8.”
(Which, basically, is a NO.)
Then, someone else says their baby is sick and well, if the baby still has a fever, they can’t make it.
I know of 2 couples that are coming FOR SURE.
My sister is one of them.
I’m feeling pretty upset about this. Not so much that people are canceling. I get it, things come up, kids get sick. It happens and that’s life. I just feel kind of stupid for opening myself up to be hurt like this. THIS IS WHY WE DON’T INVITE PEOPLE TO OUR HOUSE.
At this point, I’m not sure what to do.
Do I cancel and reschedule for next week? Do I just keep it on and enjoy the few people who do show up? Do I cancel altogether?
I am not sure yet.
In any case, I keep telling myself “it’s their loss!” because, seriously, they’re missing out on a Triple Slow Cooker Buffet Nacho Bar.
And also, ALL OF THIS:
Edited to add–
I love how you guys can almost always talk some sense into me. The party is still on. And it’s going to be awesome. Now, can I just got a few prayers that it stops raining at some point during the evening? I really need for God to make that happen.

This is What a Cheese Potato, Ham and Pumpkin Bars With Whipped Cream Hangover Looks Like.

My husband left the house at 3:30 am to hit a couple of sales this morning. He came home two hours later empty handed saying a lot of F Words. Apparently, people are assholes! Especially people trying to get Good Deals!
But you know? This year is tough.
It seems as though everyone is struggling. Everyone knows someone who is out of work, or who has had their pay significantly reduced or who has lost their home, their health insurance.
So, I suppose people are extra excited (desperate?) to get that Good Deal so they’re able to give their family some kind of Christmas this year.
Or, people are just assholes.
Speaking of a’holes.
There is someone hell bent on attacking my son’s physical appearance. That’s right, the person I wrote about in this post felt it necessary to come back and clarify that she didn’t do it to hurt my son, but to help him. I virtually punch her in the teeth! The fact of the matter is I can’t be here to catch the comments at all times and I won’t risk my son seeing such cruel words written about him here. So, comment moderation is now on.
The ONLY time I have done this is when I’ve been attacked my spam. I hate that I have to do it now, but I have to do it now.
I’m sure you understand.
I’m giving away a $30 Amazon gift card (that I will be purchasing with my own money.)(I don’t tell you that to be all “look how nice I am” but because, you know, FTC regulations, full disclosure and all that jazz.) I just feel like ENOUGH WITH THE ASSHOLERY! THE STRESS! THE NEGATIVITY! 99.99% of those of you who read this blog are wonderful people who have helped me through difficult times in my life, who have made me laugh until I physically hurt, have been so incredibly kind to me and my family. I am so grateful. Leave a comment on this post and I’ll randomly choose a winner tomorrow morning afternoon. (am leaving comments open until this afternoon. This morning turned out to be busier than I had anticipated.)
-Comments are now closed. Winner will be announced shortly-
The winner was comment number 45, Julia. But Julia is awesome and she asked that her prize go to Ryley. So, Ryley, check your email. (screenshot of is in extended entry.)

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If he would have bought me a card, it would have said something like “We’ll go out next week because it’s way too crowded on Valentines Day anyway. P.S. Drink lots of wine tonight, WINK WINK.”

I know.
You hate Valentines Day.
I understand. I don’t particularly love it myself.
We love each other every day and All That Cheese.
That said, I hope that YOU had a Happy Valentines Day and that the love of YOUR life at least bought you a card, or, I don’t know– a piece of chocolate?
Happy Valentines Day
Update– about 10 minutes after I published this, PigHunter handed me flowers, chocolate and a card. Now I sorta feel like an A-S-S-H-O-L-E.

Happy Happy! Merry Merry!

It’s the night before Christmas and I still have Christmas shopping to do, cards to write and mail, cookies to bake and presents to wrap.
I am good at planning!
Because from this moment on I will not have a free second, I am going to wish you a Merry Christmas a day early. I wanted to record a Christmas song from my family to you, but I don’t always get what I want around here. The children wanted nothing to do with recording anything for the internet, but PigHunter was a good sport and agreed to sing with me. We tried. And thanks to our adorable children, we FAILED.
And yet, here we are. Singing to you and wishing you and your family a beautiful Christmas filled with love, joy and happy memories to last a lifetime.

You’re Welcome.
Bonus: Gabby and “Bolt” singing their favorite Christmas songs.

Happy Holidays

To Everything There is a Season

Remembering Grandpa on Veterans Day. Today is the first holiday since my Grandpa’s death.
And today was the day that I would have picked up the phone, called him and thanked him for his service to our country.
Today is the day I would have told him how proud I am of him, like I did every Veterans Day.
But today, I couldn’t pick up the phone to make that call and it hurt like hell.
The initial wave of pain that I felt when he died has been replaced with a sadness I can’t quite explain.
A part of who I am died the day that he left this earth and today I felt the sting of that loss. I can no longer refer to my Grandpa in the present tense. That part of my life is history and a new phase has begun. The phase in which I refer to my Grandpa in the past tense.
I know there are happier days ahead and I look forward to the day I can think about Him and not feel an incredible emptiness in my heart. I look forward to the day I can speak of him in the past tense and feel joy for having had him in my life for as long as I did.