Yesterday I called PigHunter while he was on his way home from work to ask him if he’d pick up G from Grandma’s house.
“Babe, I can’t pick her up in my car. I think something died in here.”
“Why do you think something died in your car?”
“Because, oh my GOD, it smells so bad in here. It smells like death! Something died in my car!”
(Back story: His car had been parked at the equipment yard for about 2 weeks. He picked it up on Friday but it’s been sitting in the driveway until he left for work yesterday morning.)
I waited outside for him to get home. When he pulled up, he was all “oh my God, it’s disgusting, I have to find whatever it is.”
I watched from a distance as he opened the truck. I was totally and completely freaked out at the idea of something having died and rotting in his car so I kept my distance and pestered him from a far.
“Do you see anything? Is there anything there? What is in there? Anything dead in there?”
“Not yet, but I KNOW there’s something in here.”
The longer he searched without finding anything, the less freaked out I felt about it and the more I began to think PigHunter may be a liiiiiiiittle crazy. I finally got the nerve to walk up to the car to see what this awful smell was that my husband was talking about. All of the windows and doors were open, so I got as close as my fear of dead things would allow me and took a little sniff.
“It doesn’t smell bad.” I said.
“Oh yes it does, get closer. Sit down in the back and sniff.”
“Oh hell no. I will not do that. But I’m telling you, I don’t smell anything from where I’m at.”
Two minutes later he’s all “DEAD BABY MOUSE ON THE FLOOR!” and I was all “YOU’RE LYING!” and he was all “I swear, come look!” and I was all “You’re LYING YOU LIAR!”
But he wasn’t lying. Laying on the floor in the back of his car was a dead baby mouse. I may have ran away screaming because DEAD BABY MOUSE IN HUSBAND’S CAR.
He searched for more, but that was all he could find. But I warned him that there were more. There had to be more. Because what the chances that a single, teeny, tiny probably just born baby mouse had happened to find it’s way into his car and die?
So, he tore his poor, old, little car apart.
And underneath the carpet, he found 6 more of these:
Category Archives: This Thing Called Life
Esus-jay Oesn’t-day Ove-lay Ore-(w)h-ays!
When I in elementary school, there were two neighbors I would play with every day. They were both older than me, but they were the best friends that I had in the neighborhood.
Jimm-ay and RhymesWithFonda. We would play everything from hide and seek to secret sex games that I did not KNOW were sex games because I had parents who didn’t tell me what sex was because did you know you can get pregnant just by “standing to close to a boy?” SWEAR TO NOT GOD BECAUSE SWEARING TO GOD IS A SIN! One thing we loved to do was skate in RhymesWithFonda’s driveway. She had The Perfect Driveway for skating. No gravel, or cracks. Just a smooth cement with awesome downward slant.
The fact that Jimm-ay and RhymesWithFonda were older than me created some problems. There was talk of sex that made me uncomfortable and sometimes made me cry because “I DON’T KNOW WHAT HUMPING IS BUT MY MOM AND DAD TOTALLY DON’T DO IT! LIARS!” Which of course led to “inside jokes” that made me feel bad about myself because they’d walk around telling their inside jokes and I’d laugh along and then RhymesWithFonda would be all “You don’t even know what it means so why are you laughing?” And I’d be all “Well, at least I’m going to heaven!” Because that was pretty much my comeback for everything when I was 8.
There was one summer in particular where I pretty much spent every day in RhymesWithFonda’s driveway. I remember one of those days as if it happened yesterday. Jimmy and RhymesWithFonda were outside skating and laughing louder than usual. I, of course, felt jealous and sad that they hadn’t come over and asked me to play. I laced up my skates and raced outside to join them. As I skated up the driveway, I said “Hi, guys! Can I play?”
“We don’t care.” RhymesWithFonda snapped back.
And then, then, it started.
All of this strange jibber jabber which I did not understand. Jimm-ay would say something and RhymesWithFonda would laugh and laugh. Then she’d say something back to him and he’d laugh and laugh.
“What are you guys saying?” I asked, feeling a little bit panicked inside.
“None of your business” they shot back.
And it went on and on.
They’d say these crazy, weird words and laugh. Sometimes they’d laugh while looking and pointing at me, other times while their backs were turned to me.
I begged them to stop.
“If you don’t like it, you can leave!” Jimm-ay shouted.
So, I left.
And went straight to Jimm-ays house to tattle.
I’ll never forget what his mom did for me. She didn’t turn me away. She didn’t tell me to quit being a crybaby. No. Instead, she invited me into her house, sat me on the sofa and listened to what I had to say.
“Oh, I see.” she said. “They’re speaking Pig Latin so that you can’t understand what they’re saying. That’s not very nice of them.”
But her kindness didn’t end there. Oh no it didn’t. She went and got one of those little personal chalkboards, a box of chalk and said “I’m going to teach you Pig Latin so they can’t talk about you anymore. Don’t tell them I taught you, we’ll surprise them.”
We sat there on her sofa for what seemed like hours while she drew on that little chalkboard and explained Pig Latin to me. Once she felt like I understood, she told me to go back out there and play with them again. “And if they say anything, just repeat what they said in English! They’ll never do it again!”
I couldn’t get to RhymesWithFonda’s house fast enough. As soon as I rolled up on them, they started with the Pig Latin.
I listened for a bit as they talked about me. Oh, how they laughed! And oh, how I laughed right along with them.
“You don’t even know what’s funny!” RhymesWithRhonda said.
“Yes I do! I know everything you just said!”
“DO NOT!”
“I-ay o-day oo-tay!”
Oh Snap.
Victory was mine! For that day, at least. Of course, they figured out other ways to leave me out. And I learned very quickly that Jimm-ays Mom couldn’t solve my problems for me every time. I learned that not everyone was going to like me all of the time and that the trick was to not let them know you cared and save your tears for your pillow. And for Jesus.
There was a point to this story. Something about how sometimes I feel left out of the Inside Joke of Life (or, you know, BLOGGING.), but honestly, I don’t care much to go into all of that because it’s Very Emotional for me and Wah! I didn’t graduate from college because my parents taught me it was God’s Will to get married at 19 and who needs college when you have Jesus and a Uterus?!
Or SOMETHING? BECAUSE OH MY GOD I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS BUT NOW YOU KNOW THE STORY OF HOW I LEARNED PIG LATIN. UCKY-LAY OU-YAY!
Yesterday, I was touched by an Angel
Yesterday, I joined a group of people for the March of Dimes to walk in honor of Maddie.I almost didn’t make it, because I almost stayed in bed. I was sick, fatigued and woe is me! I have a disease!
Yesterday, I walked alongside a women who is going through treatment for cancer. Brain cancer. And yet, she was there, walking 3 miles to support a friend in need. To honor a baby she loved.
Yesterday, I was reminded that life is bigger than myself and my own feelings, problems.
Yesterday, I was inspired to be a better friend, a better mother, a better partner.
Yesterday, I was reminded how precious life is and how quickly it can be taken away.
Yesterday, I knew it was time I changed the way the way that I live my life, no longer seeing things through my own selfish eyes, but trying to see it through that of others.
Yesterday, I saw in action the true meaning of love and friendship and I have been forever changed. And those are not just empty words that I am typing.
Thank you for that, sweet Maddie. Thank you.
Remembering Maddie
Doing What We Can
I was going to donate money to the paypal account that has been set up to help the Spohr family cover the cost of Maddie’s funeral.
I decided against donating.
Instead, I went and ordered a digital camera. A Nikon Coolpix 10.0 mp camera.
But. The camera’s not for me.
I bought the camera with the intention of trying to raise money for The Spohr family. It is my wish that we can raise enough to cover any and all expenses so that they don’t have worry about such things. They have enough to deal with right now.
Here is how I’m going to do it. To enter, all you need to do is make a donation of at least $10. For every $10 you donate, you’ll get an extra chance to win. (Example: If you donate $30, you’ll be entered 3 times. If you donate $25, you’ll be entered twice.)
How you enter:
Click on the PayPal link set up in Maddie’s honor. Make a donation of at least $10.00.
When you receive your confirmation number, fill out the information on the form below:
*I’ve removed the form. Winner of the raffle will be announced tomorrow. (Saturday) Thank you so much for your donations.
How the winner will be chosen:
When the contest is closed, I will use random.org to select a number based on the number of entries I receive.
I will ship the camera to the winner on the day the winner is chosen, provided the order has arrived.
When will the winner be chosen?
I will stop accepting entries on Friday night (April 17th) and will choose the winner Saturday Morning. If you have any questions, please leave them in the comments and I’ll get back to you as soon as I possibly can.
For Those of You Who Want to Help The Spohr Family
Shame on them.
I didn’t sleep much last night.
I kept waking my husband up to tell him I couldn’t believe that Maddie was gone. I felt a sadness I’ve not felt before. When I woke up this morning, I felt a sense of helplessness. A friend had just suffered an unimaginable tragedy and there was nothing I could do to heal her heart.
I logged onto her blog this morning and saw that it was down. Having this incredible desire to do something useful, I contacted Bluehost to find out if there was anything they could do to help.
I put in a help ticket on behalf of thesphorsaremultiplying.
Here is the email exchange:
From me: I see the account has been suspended. Probably due to a surge in traffic. Is there something you can do to bring the site back? The owner of the site’s baby girl died yesterday. She was only 17 months old. That’s why she’s getting so much traffic, people want to help. Can someone help with this?
From Brandon:
Before I can give out account info I need you to validate the account with password or the last four of the credit card on file.
Thank you,
Brandon
From me:
Brandon. I don’t have that information. I was just wondering if there was anything anyone there can do to help get her site back up. It’s a long shot, I know, but people want to go to her site to get information on how to donate to her March of Dimes page in honor of the baby that just died.
From Brandon:
I do apologize but with out account password or last four of the credit card on file I am prohibited with giving out info of why the suspension has occurred or how to rectify.
By the time I got the last reply, her site was back up for a few minutes, so I responded with the following:
For the record, I didn’t want to know why it was suspended, I just wondered if there was anything you could do to get her site back up. Thanks for your help.
And that was the end of the conversation.
I know that others tried to contact to ask for help.
From @temptingmama
When I spoke to @bluehost about @mamaspohr I said “they ‘re not email spammers & their daughter just died.” They said that’s the rules.
“That’s the rules.”
I get it. They’re a business. They have rules. GET IT.
But, what THEY don’t seem to get is that their customers are REAL PEOPLE. And in this case, real people who just lost their daughter. Real people who are making funeral arrangements for their daughter. They really couldn’t have overlooked the rules in this case? Even for only for a couple of days while the site was moved elsewhere?
I’m outraged at their lack of humanity.
Updated:
A comment from Deb that says so beautifully what I failed to say.
I’m concerned that they not only did not help, but also sounds like they
did not acknowledge the human issue under the tech question when talking to
both of you. All customer service front line folks should know how to say
(when a red flag of media, high-profile, or special need like this goes
up): let me find someone who can work with you on this special situation.
Talk about alienating influencers.
I hope that the higher-ups at Bluehost are appalled and feel moved to make
a substantial donation to March of Dimes in acknowledgement of their poor
handling of this.
Shock
I can’t sleep.
My friend’s baby died today.
Her baby died.
I had read that she has been taken to hospital by ambulance. I was worried, so this afternoon I sent her an email.
Just catching up on what’s going on with your baby girl. I’ve been so busy and wrapped up in my stupid little world.
If you need ANYTHING, please don’t hesitate to call me. I’m only an hour-ish away.
Thinking of you all.
She wrote back and said she was worried. Maddie was breathing really hard and the doctors didn’t know why. She was scared, but glad she was being monitored so closely.
I remember feeling worried, but thinking they would figure out what was wrong and she would get better. She had to get better.
Then, tonight, I clicked over to her blog and read this.
My husband was sitting here on the couch with me when I read it. I threw my laptop down and just shouted “NO! NO!!”
I started to shake. I was in shock.
I then called a couple of friends who are also friends with Heather and we sobbed together in disbelieve.
It’s unreal. I still can’t believe it.
Every time I close my eyes to try to sleep, I think of Heather. I think of the last time I saw her– we were at the LA food bank, volunteering our time. She was so kind and wonderful to be around. Towards the end of the day, she got a phone call from her babysitter. Maddie had a fever. I saw the worry instantly sweep over her face. I told her it was okay if she needed to leave. I could just feel the love she had for her baby girl in that moment.
I keep thinking of the way she spoke of her daughter. I keep thinking of her sweet smile
And then… I think of how her world just fell apart today. How she no longer has her baby girl to kiss or hug. I think of in the blink of an eye,everything changed. I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around the devastation she feels. The heartache. I hurt for her. For her husband. And for that beautiful baby Madeline who left this earth way too soon.
I don’t understand. I can’t make sense of it at all.
Please pray for Heather and her husband. They’re going to need all of the love and support we have to offer to help carry them through this horrible time in their lives.
“I love my life with my wife”
A few months ago, I found a few of my husband’s best friends from high school on Facebook. I showed PigHunter and he asked me if I could contact them on his behalf. I sent them messages and that very same day both friends had returned my messages and added me as a friend.
PigHunter was confused by this. “Why did they add YOU as a friend? They’re MY friends, not YOUR friends!” I had to explain to him that, oh, I don’t know, because HE DIDN’T HAVE A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT AND I DID? Like, Facebook doesn’t magically create accounts for people, you have to create one yourself, dude.
You see, my husband doesn’t understand most things on the internet. The entire concept of creating accounts and passwords is lost on him. He’s like “I tried to log into my email, but it won’t let me. I don’t get it– I entered my first and last name! What is going on here!?”
It’s THAT bad.
Anyway.
On Monday I received a friend request with a message that said “Hi, this is tj, me and PigHunter used to hang out all of time in high school. Could you please tell him I said hi?”
I called my husband at work to tell him about the message.
“Some woman named TJ sent a request to be my friend on facebook. She said you used to hang out all of the time.” He was all “we were just friends!” And I was all “Whatever, I wrote her back and told her I’d give you the message.” I then proceeded to tell him that if Caroline ever found him and requested to be my friend I’d hit IGNORE and tell that bitch to step off. “Why would you do that?” He asked. “Because, I saw what you wrote about her in your yearbook. I will NEVER friend her, just so you know.” And he got all… upset? Which of course means he totally would cheat on me with her. So I was all “Fine! I’ll just make you your own facebook account so you can friend your GIRLFRIEND, YOU ASS.”
And I did.
I had the following conversation with a friend the morning after I created his account.
Me: in other news, I made Tony a facebook page. And I’m plastering my pictures all over it because bitches from high school be friending him and sending him messages.
Her: Hahahahhahaa
Me: AHAHA
Her: Hobbies: Lovin my wife
Me: hahhahahdlahfadlhflakhsf;alhksdaaa
Me: “loving my wife. Thinking about my beautiful wife all day and while surfing the internet”
Her: I just go follow the links my wife provides!
Me: “Status: I haven’t approved your friend requests until now because my wife just told me my password, since she is the one who knows it and WILL USE IT.”
Her: Dude, he needs a blinkie icon that says “lovin my wife”
Me: I’m using this as his profile picture!
I showed him the conversation when he came home from work and once I assured him I had not, nor would I ever, put that picture on his profile page, he laughed and laughed!
And then he asked me to log him into his account so he could see who had sent friend requests! I did and he had 10 requests, half from women.
That is where the real fun began.
I was all “want me to accept her request?”
He was all “No! I didn’t like her in high school! Why would I want to be her friend?”
And I was all “accepting her request doesn’t mean you literally have to be her friend. People just like to friend people they knew in high school so they can see what you’re up to and stuff like that.”
“I don’t give a shit– it’s none of her business what I am up to!”
I started to feel bad for this girl so I tried to convince him to accept her request.
“She’s friends with your other friends! Babe, just accept it. She’ll probably just say Hi and you’ll never have to talk to her again. You don’t have to ACTUALLY BE HER FRIEND. Like, we’re not going to invite her over for dinner.”
“It says F-R-I-E-N-D request, implying we’re friends!”
“oh my God, no…”
And then he got Very Serious. “Drop it, Y. I’m not accepting! I don’t want to be her friend!”
Turns out, my husband’s facebook account is the funniest thing in my life right now. I can’t wait for the requests to rolling in. The JOY it brings to my soul to watch him struggle with the decision of allowing someone to be his “friend” or not. JOY!
I’m tempted to ask all of you to friend him just to watch his head explode.
“What is it with you and cars?”
I was on my way to the gym for my first Aerobic Dance class in almost 2 years. I was sitting at a red light, waiting for it to turn green. The second it turned green…
BOOM!
Rear. Ended.
I instantly felt pain in my back and neck. And in my heart because ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? We just got this car last year after PigHunter’s accident!
I wasn’t quite sure what had happened, but once I got out of the car, I saw that someone had rear ended the car behind me with such force that his car plowed into me.
I just got back from urgent care with a prescription of Soma (which is kicking in as I type this.)
More tomorrow. Or when I stop hurting.