Emergency Gynecology appointment in an hour so I don’t have time to write much, but I wanted to show you a video I took over the weekend.
I was on a Sound of Music kick this weekend and I kept playing the songs over and over. My daughter who apparently can not stand the sound of my voice, kept coming into the room with excuses as to why I needed to STOP!SINGING!RIGHT!THIS!MINUTE! Of course, this made me want to sing louder because “I can sing if I want to! You are not the boss of me little one!” So, I put on Edelweiss for the 80th time, turned the video camera on and placed it on my desk so that she wouldn’t know it was on and began singing in the most dramatic (annoying?) voice. Within .3 seconds, she was in my room asking me to stop singing because “The baby (who does not actually exist) was sleeping!”
Keep in mind as your listening that my Uncle once told me (in front of my entire family after watching a video of me singing at church) that I sounded like “A dying cow.” SO, NO NEED TO TELL ME I CAN NOT SING. I already kind of know.
You Know Your Day is Probably Going to Suck When….
As you’re putting the only bra on that still fits you, you notice the wire is sticking out of the side, stabbing you in the armpit and as you’re trying to shove that bitch back in and “Make it Work”, you accidentally drop your only clean pair of chonis in the toilet and as you’re fishing them out of the toilet, you hear your daughter call her brother an “Asshole” because he won’t “share his pen.”
Oh, and? You have to make 40 German Pancakes for your Son’s “Food From Around The World” day and have them at the school by 8am.
SHIT.
If She Ever Asks Me To Draw The Celtics, I’m Going to Draw a Big Hairy Ass Checking Itself.
Whenever I sit down with my daughter to color, I always get a little bit nervous that she’ll ask me to draw something other than a happy face or a flower. You see, her dad can look at a picture of something and copy it to look almost exactly the same. So, she can go to her Dad and say something like “Dad, can you draw Shrek?” And he’ll say “Sure I can! Bring me the DVD so I can look at it!” And within a few minutes, she’ll be smiling from ear to ear, running around the house showing off the custom drawing of Shrek that Daddy made for her.
Now, whenever she asks me to draw something for her it’s a completely different story. Every single time she asks me to draw something for her there is an emotional breakdown of some kind.
“That’s not Snow White! That’s a piece of poop! WAHHHHH!”
“No! Look! It’s Snow White! Look at her pretty hair!”
“That’s not hair! That’s poop! I WANT SNOW WHITE NOT POOP! WAHHHH”
“That’s the best I can do, little girl. I’m sorry I’m not talented like your Dad!”
So, imagine the horror I felt deep down in my soul yesterday when we were having a precious little tea party and my daughter blurted out the words, “Will you draw Woody and Jesse for me, Mama?”
SHIT.
I tried explaining to her that I can NOT draw and “Hey! I have an idea! Let’s wait til Daddy gets home and we’ll ask him to draw Woody and Jesse for you! He loves to draw for you!”
“But MooOOoooOm! I want YOU to draw them for me!”
There was no getting out of it. I was going to have to try to draw Woody and Jesse. This wasn’t going to end well.
She brought me the DVD covers and I began to draw. She leaned in and watched me intensely as I began to sketch. My heart was pounding. My hands were sweaty. I knew it was only a matter of minutes before we’d both be laying on the floor in tears.
When I was finished drawing, I took a deep breath and waited for her response. I was fully expecting the “OMG THIS DOESNT’ LOOK LIKE WOODY!” Emotional Breakdown because, well…
She looked. She tilted her head. Then, she turned to me and said “MOM!”
Oh NOES. Here we go, I thought.
“You didn’t give Jesse eyelashes!”
She grabbed the pen from me, begin to add some lashes and when she was finished, she giggled and said “there, now it looks like Jesse!”
Sure it does. If Jesse were a demented Old Circus Monkey*!
She loved them. Absolutely loved them. And that is why I love that little girl– she is so unpredictable and almost always in a wonderful way. Every day is full of surprise and new adventures and I am enjoying the hell out of her and her Dramatic ways.
(Speaking of Dramatics… I leave you with this gem. Numbers in Opera.)
*If you get the reference, I kind of love you.
Dear Celtic Fans, Check Your Ass.
Projecting.
Why “trollish” type comments do not bother me.
Commenter name: Mimi
Commenter IP address: 71.117.98.*
Hi
That’s bull shit. You are all addicted to those lakers and to that Kolbe
who is making millions of dollars thanks to all of your addictions,
meanwhile causes all those dramas in your life. It’s really stupid, that
you are all addicted to these lakers as if you are addicted to drugs. It’s
the same thing. Sit in front of TV and watch a game that never ends,
sacrify your children, the quality learning time you can give to them. The
Mom giving that lakers ticket is just sad, cause she is submissive and
letting her freedom guided by her husband who is addicted to watch a game,
above all he is not even fit. this society is just poison to your brains.
People are getting so ridiculous. good luck. Soon also, check your ass to
see how many pounds you gain watching that Tv
Because 99.99% the comments aren’t really about me. The search that led “Mimi” to my blog?
See what I mean?
For the record, “CHECK YOUR ASS” is my new favorite comeback to everything in the world.
More Talk About Faith and My Complete Lack of It.
Someone very close to me recently told me that God spoke to her and told her that he wants to heal me.
She was afraid to tell me for fear that I’d laugh at her. Perhaps it’s because she knows that I do not do not have faith and if one does not have faith, how in the hell is one to believe that God told someone he wants to heal me?
I have thought about it ever since. What if God really did speak to her and what if he really does want to heal me? What if this is the part where I say “Okay, God. I believe you want to heal me and I have faith that you will?”
But that’s crazy, right? That’s crazy to say “I believe God spoke to someone about ME because he wants to heal ME?”
So, my question to you is this.
If someone told you that God spoke to them about you, would you believe it? Or would you laugh at them? Do you believe God truly speaks to people?
I would love to hear your answers.
Time Can Be So Cruel
My Mom called me last weekend to tell me that my Grandpa is not doing well. He’s swollen, filled with fluid due to a weak heart. The doctor told him that he doesn’t have much time left and that he’ll most likely die in his sleep. This isn’t the first time I’ve been told he’s very sick and it’s not the first time I’ve tried to mentally prepare for his death. But each time, he’s managed to pull through and keep on ticking. This time though… This time just seems different.
He can’t see anymore and he can’t move around much (except to go to the bathroom and to doctor’s visits). He told me that he sits in his chair all day and thinks about me and all of the memories we’ve had.
“I have such good memories of you, Y.” He said. “I sit here all day and I think about you and all the times we’ve had. I have had a good life, I have a good family.”
I tried to respond to tell him all of the ways that he’s impacted my life and how I couldn’t have survived my teenagers years without him but as I went to say the words, I could feel the lump in my throat and the tears welling up in my eyes. I took a deep breath, fought back the tears and instead of telling him everything that he means to me, I simply told him that I have wonderful memories too and that I love him.
My heart breaks when I think of living in a world in which he no longer exists. And at the same time, my heart breaks when I think of him sitting in that chair all day long, unable to get around, unable to see, laboring for every breath.
I think of him sitting in that chair thinking of me and I break down and weep.
Oh, Sweet Opa, how I love him and how incredibly blessed I’ve been to have him in my life for as long as I have.
Sometimes I Feel Like I Don’t Have a Thyroid. (Trust me, that will be HILARIOUS after you watch the video.)
My Endocrinologist is totally pissed at The Internet.
You see, I’ve been emailing him asking for tests that my incredibly awesome readers have suggested that I should have done. Here is his response to my suggestion he test me for “adrenal Fatigue.”
There really is not true medical condition called adrenal fatigue, although this is a term that one can find on the internet. The true condition is called adrenal insufficiency.
And by “one” he meant “Me.” and by that entire sentence he meant “stop googling shit and bugging me with your questions, woman.”
Six months ago that kind of “tone” from my doctor would have intimated me. In fact, I used to be terrified to open emails from my doctor. “What if he’s pissed at me for asking him that question?”
Fuck that noise.
If I hadn’t questioned my doctor, I would still be undiagnosed because when I told him I wanted my thyroid tested, he told me I just “needed to eat less and work out more and oh! By the way, maybe I should consider joining weight watchers!”
The good news is that in spite of his annoyance with me (and my ability to get advice from the Internet) he has ordered whichever test it is that I need for adrenal insufficiency and has also ordered B12 shots. I’m waiting to hear back from him regarding testing for PCOS.
THANK YOU for helping me through this difficult and frustrating ordeal. You have no idea how much I appreciate you.
In completely non thyroid related news, I am going to post another video. (I know and I’m sorry.) If you’ve ever said to yourself. “I wonder what the Y Family does for fun in the evenings?!” (which, let’s be honest, you’ve NEVER ONCE wondered that.)
Wonder no more!
(Things you must know before you watch: a) It’s poor quality because I am a jackass who can’t keep the recorder still b) I CAN’T SING, no hate mail necessary, I already know. c) No, I still haven’t hung pretty things on the walls. We’ve “only” been here 7 months, cut me some slack. d) my kids are awesome.)
More like “HashiLoco”
After my endo increased my meds this last time, I started to feel better. I had energy and even went a little crazy and cleaned my house! Then, I crashed. Started feeling tired again, mentally slow and all that jazz. So, last week I sent my endo an email saying something like “I can’t wait another month to get re-tested. I am feeling extremely tired again and I’ve not had a period in almost 2 months. Can you please re-test me NOW?”
He immediately changed the dates for the tests and I went yesterday to have them done. I was SURE that my levels were going to be out of whack based on the way that I feel and I was sure he’d have to increase my medication.
I was wrong.
TSH? Lowest it’s been in.. well, ever. (1.34)
Free T4? Completely normal (.91)
T3? (.99)
Every single number has drastically improved from when I was first diagnosed so why in the hell am I still feeling so tired? Why am I not having periods?
I’m beginning to think it’s all in my head.
The numbers don’t lie, do they?
Or do they?
I don’t know, honestly and I feel like I’m going crazy. The Bad Crazy.
I’ve made an appointment with a gynecologist to try to figure out what’s going on all up in my uterus (I assumed it was “low thyroid” because when I was low, I was skipping periods, but since that’s not it, WHAT IS IT? And NO, I am not pregnant.) I also made an appointment to ask to be tested to find out if I am “insulin resistant.”
I have been researching like crazy, but the more I read, the more confused I become. One thing is clear though– MY LEVELS ARE NORMAL NOW.
So what gives? It really must be “all in my head.” Because, I don’t know what else it could be at this point and I’m really tired of trying to figure it out.
I can’t even begin to type how frustrated/depressed I feel about this whole “my health” thing, but let me assure you if I did type it out it would be ALL CAPS AND FUCKS AND EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t know where to go from here and that’s why I’m writing here on my blog– because I know that so many of you who read here have gone through this (and are going through it now) and am hoping you can offer me some kind of advice. Have you had “normal levels” and still felt hypo symptoms? If so, what did you do about it? I’m feeling pretty damn desperate right about now.
Dear Every Single Person Who Left a Comment on That Last (Not A) Post
I love you more than the typed word could ever express. And because I love you, I think you need to know that my thyroid is NOT deleting my posts, nor did my thyroid EAT ME. (ha ha hahaa)
What happened was….
I had planned on writing a post about Thyroids, but only got as far as the title. Apparently, I accidentally hit publish just before I shut down the computer to leave with The Daughter for our Monday of Fun-day. So, imagine my surprise when I got home and saw over 30 comments on a post that I NEVER ACTUALLY WROTE. And my God, they were hilarious and pretty much made my day.
Now that I know you care about Thyroids I will post what I had originally planned on posting sometime tomorrow. I just felt like I owed you an explanation and also a THANK YOU for making me feel like less of a jackass for publishing a TITLE.
OH, the Thyroid Humor. It kills me.