There better be Krispy Kreme and a pumpkin spice latte waiting for me is all I’m saying

Normally, student council is only for 4th graders and 5th graders. This year, they decided to allow ONE third grader from each third grade class to participate.
Naturally, that one third grader would be my son. Because he’s “A Leader” and “The kids look up to him” and he’s “Mr.Responsible” as well as “The Ladies Man” and “The Class Clown.”
I love that kid. Bless his fart.
I was all excited about this “student council thing” until I was informed that he has to attend a meeting a couple times a month before school at SEVEN TEN IN THE MORNING.

That’s only 20 minutes earlier than we normally leave in the morning, but, 20 minutes THAT EARLY in the morning, is like, hours to my tired soul.
And the fact that he has to be there before school actually starts, means it’s probably not a good idea to take him in my pj’s with funky pit smell. Because, you know, I’ll actually have to get out and walk him to the room so he’s not wondering around an empty campus alone.
So, now that “20 minutes” is turning into more like 30 because I’ll actually have to do things like “Shower” and “apply deodorant” (which, can I just tell you, I still have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA how much is “enough”. I know I should probably stop spreading the junk on when there is about 2 inches worth of white shit plastered on, but, deep down I’m scared, like, “What if it’s NOT ENOUGH?” Then what? So, I must apply at LEAST 10 MORE STROKES. Will I ever learn, or will I continue to go through life with huge, white, sticky balls in my pits? And what’s worse? ‘rant balls or BO? Exactly. Ok, back to the post…) “brush teeth” “put clothes on that match.”

But, seriously, 7:10 in the morning?

9 thoughts on “There better be Krispy Kreme and a pumpkin spice latte waiting for me is all I’m saying

  1. Heatherg

    The first bell at my kids school rings at 7:20 AM, School officially starts at 7:25 AM. When they have their morning chorus practices, it begins at 6:50 AM.
    I’ve bitched and bitched about their school times, hence this is ELEMENTARY school, but to no avail.
    I mean, i see kids on the side of the road at 6:45 AM waiting for buses, and again, THESE ARE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL CHILDREN !
    High school students start at 8:35 AM, is this not unbelievable?
    Sorry you are now in the same boat i am, having to actually be AWAKE and take your kids to school is a real ass-pain.
    Congrats on his student council appointment, it is commendable !

  2. Louise

    Wow, that makes a long day for the poor guy! And, of course, for you. But he must be so excited about it! Congratulations to your Politician In Training 😉

  3. danelle

    Muwahaha!!! School here starts at 8:55. Whee!
    Seriously, After the first time, once he learns where he’s supposed to be, I don’t see why you can’t just drop him off.

  4. Jen

    My son is in first grade, their school starts at 7:15 am. Neither one of us is a morning person so when the alarm goes off at 6:15, I curse the school and then fight the battle to get him up and out of bed. The high school kids go AFTER the elementary kids. I guess that’s why my son’s school offers after school child care, if their older siblings are still in school, who will watch them?

  5. girl

    will I continue to go through life with huge, white, sticky balls in my pits?
    my wonderful husband refers to that as “pit cheese.” he informed me that I was having a pit cheese problem in Jamaica. it was so fucking hot that my deo was workin’ overtime and that clear shit just doesn’t work worth a damn. and sprays? who the hell has the time to wait for that stuff to dry? I can’t be walkin’ around the house with my arms in the air for 10 minutes waiting for my pits to stop drippin’.

  6. girlplease

    haahahah ‘rant’ balls! love it.
    reminds me of when i was unemployed for 9 months. my husband told me, ‘you know, a razor and deodorant isn’t just for interviews”
    again, ‘rant’ balls. ahhaahahahhaahha
    oh and a tip, use shampoo to wash under da pits. helps get all that layer of ‘rant’ off. regular soap just doesn’t cut it.

  7. Skatemom

    Dang. Band starts at 7:00, which means he has to be there at 6:45 because it takes him forever and a day to put his honking clarinet together. I make my husband take him — tell him it means he can get to the office early and make a good impression on the big boss lady!

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