Because this is as exciting as it gets here in the Upper Class Hood (in which we do not fit in because we are RENTERS!)

Observations from Day One of (Totally Not) My Trading Spaces Experience:
Paige Davis isn’t as friendly as I thought she would be. (She was not happy when I said hello to her. In fact, she refused to make eye contact. But, I give her a pass. I’m sure nosy neighbors are All Up In Her Snatch when she’s filming and she probably has to implement the Asshole Defense System to avoid engaging people and get work done. I totally get that, however, I can’t lie– I was a bit shocked.) That said. She is ADORABLE.
Sadly, I only got one picture of her and it was from far away and also of her back. Once again, my fear of Breaking the Law overwhelmed me and I was too chicken shit to just stand in my yard and take pictures. Instead, I stood in my garage, waited until no one was watching and snapped as fast as I could. Luckily, I’m huge so when people did look it was easy to hide the camera by holding it against my side. I honestly don’t know what I’m afraid of. Oh, wait, yes I do. I’m afraid Some Dude from production will come over and ask me to please stop taking pictures and I’ll be all “Yes, sir. I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t mean any harm sir. I’M JUST A WRITER, SIR. A writer who loves taking pictures for my blog, sir.”
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The Carpenter is HOT. And think I’ll set up a chair in the front yard and work from there tomorrow just so that I can watch him hit stuff with his hammer.
That’s really all I’ve got so far. I still don’t know who the designer will be. I’ll find that out sometime tomorrow morning when I’m just “watering the flowers” for the 38th time in 2 days.
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71 thoughts on “Because this is as exciting as it gets here in the Upper Class Hood (in which we do not fit in because we are RENTERS!)

  1. Mom on the Run

    Question: Why the candy canes? Why the Christmas frock? Are your neighbors Christmas freaks…you know those people who have decorations up all year.
    Please keep us posted. Can you take photos from an upstairs window? Over the garden fence?

  2. Nancy P

    I would have done the same thing! Hey I have to say I was so glad to see you back on twitter. I found your blog thru Jen Lancaster (who I just discovered after reading her 3 books back to back) and love your postings. Also don’t even get me started on your photography. My God but you are so talented. You should sell your work. It evokes such emotion.
    I have been saying a prayer or two for your husbands job situation to improve also.

  3. mary

    Oh hey, Hi Brandon! *blush*
    I love Doug, too! He’s the best. I don’t know if its on anymore but I loved him on Moving Up (is that the right show?) There are so many.
    Anyway, I am the same way with the camera. Do it for the blogs, Y!!! 🙂

  4. talda

    looking at the christmasy frock, maybe paige wasn’t as friendly because she had to wear that. i mean, are people ever friendly when they’re stuck wearing christmas sweaters?

  5. Nancy P

    One more thing. When I saw your reading of your letter to your body. Good Lord but I cried like a baby.

  6. Amaelija

    Time to add ‘watching grass grow’ to your list of hobbies!
    If you get arrested, I will be in charge of taking up a bail money collection on your behalf. (Please email me Judy’s contact info so I can Western Union the money to her, and she can go pick you up.)

  7. Y

    that’s why I’m not going to say she’s not a nice PERSON. she just wasn’t friendly, but yeah, she was probably tired from being in that suit and those boots all day (it was 100 here) I just meant to say that I thought she’d be all sweet and perky like she is on the show and when she wasn’t, I was a little shocked. But not really, because, again, I totally get it.

  8. Ana

    Holy crap, you are a “renter” and you have flowers, lol. I hate when people ask that question, does it really matter. Its not like you are paying cheaper.
    My neighbor bitch asked me that so I stopped watering the grass, because you know renters have dead grass, and I let my sons toys lay all over the front yard. LOL

  9. *pixie*

    Playing “Christmas-time” in the heat of the summer has to suck. Of course, this is coming from a girl who has SNOW on the ground in the winter.

  10. Dani

    How exciting! I can’t wait to stop by tomorrow for another update.
    If I were you, I’d be knocking Paige over and stealing those damn boots! They’re HAWT!

  11. Nothing But Bonfires

    Why are ALL carpenters hot? Seriously, find me an un-hot carpenter, someone. I CHALLENGE YOU.
    (PS: Am loving this! Am hanging onto the edge of my seat with glee! Might fly down to you to “water the flowers” with you all morning. I will bring Sean’s paparazzi-style telephoto lens.)

  12. Kathy

    You wouldn’t be braking any laws. Did it say anything on the letter about taking pictures? If not – when you stand on your property you are free to take pictures all you want 🙂

  13. Kay

    IS it silly I can’t wait to hear who the designer is? And it wouldn’t kill Paige to say hello back, you know, keeping with the good image and being neighborly and all? I do and don’t understand, no matter what it doesn’t kill anyone to say hi, think she has gotten too big for her britches? Apparently so since they are MISSING and all! 😉

  14. The Aitch

    Awesome, I love the update, thanks! I hope they get Hildy who will cover their walls with cream cheese and kitty litter!

  15. The Aitch

    Oh HaHa I have to mention this: I just told my husband about your trading spaces experience w/ your nasty neighbor and showed him your blog entry and he laughed and said he wanted to see more of paige davis’s ass. (perv) but then he reminded me that your experience is not as awesome as my experience wherein Jamie Lynn Spears
    asked to be my flickr contact AND commented on a photo!

  16. DogsDontPurr

    You so crack me up. You and I totally need to go celebrity hunting together! (I actually found a job where they will pay you for celebrity sightings…I kid you not!) Email me sometime and let’s get rollin’!

  17. mom23lilrascals

    don’t kill the flowers! lol. stick a p&s in a stuffed animal instead. play with it, cuddle it, kiss it. each time, snap, snap, snap. just make sure you kiss the right end! lol.

  18. baseballmom

    I dunno, Paige kinda looks like a closet bitch sometimes…no one can be that happy ALL THE TIME, although, if you were skinny and cute like her, it might be easier!

  19. Jenny H.

    Santa Whore, maybe. What is UP with that dress? I’d be pissed off too!
    I so hope it is Doug! He is also my favorite. I do like Laurie and Vern, but not so much Hildy. I can’t wait to hear who the designers are! Squeeeee!

  20. Laurie

    Is it some sort of Christas themed show or do you all just decorate for Christmas WAAAAYYY early out there in Cali? So the designer on;y works for 1 day? Confused!

  21. liz

    yeah: what’s with the candy canes? just asking.
    also: what’s with Paige’s hooker boots? white vinyl? didn’t anyone tell her it’s after labor day….

  22. Michelle

    So much excitement!
    And I have to say that I love Paige and it would make me sad if she was rude. I didn’t have any strong feelings about her until I saw her as Maria in the Sound of Music – OMG that woman can sing! I heart her now.

  23. AA

    Well, let me say, I would be like you with the pictures- afraid of being caught, but since I want to see more I want you to be brave! As I was reading this post I kept thinking, “It’s her yard, they can’t stop her taking pictures from her yard!” I mean, they came to your space. It’s not like you are trespassing or something. If they don’t want you to take pics they should put up a bigger fence or hide behind the truck or something. HA! Go for it girl.
    So who are they trading with? I thought neighbors traded and did each others houses.

  24. Jill

    Trading Spaces makes me question my sexuality. Paige is adorable and the construction guys are HOTT. But Paige… she’s spunky.
    What’s a sleazy RENTER like me to do?

  25. M&Co.

    That is one ugly assed, ridiculous looking dress she is wearing. Maybe she didn’t respond to you because she was embarrassed at having to wear that dress and those boots with those thighs.

  26. Tiffany

    What kind of filming is going on next door?!? naughty neighbors;) shame on Paige.. lol
    That carpenter is yummy – pictures of him please..
    I’m a delurking – love your blog – your just too damn funny..

  27. Leah

    Since you are only a “renter” go out there in full view and take pictures!! Say it loud and proud. And do it for all us other renters and lovers of Trading Spaces. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Go for it!!!

  28. Beth

    Okay, I’m kinda devastated because Paige Davis should be like the nicest, nicest person. I’ve always pictured going shopping with her (in my fantasies I actually fit in her clothes) and watching re-runs of 90210 with her. So wow, my bubble might be getting burst here.
    Plus, she dang well better be nice to YOU, who although I don’t know you and this makes me sound kind of blog-stalkerish, are just the nicest person ever. She’s not nice to you — we’ll band together and…well…not watch the show or something!!

  29. wrongshoes

    She could have at least smiled. I’m totally unfriendly, and even *I* do that if someone says hi.
    Unless I’m really, really uncomfortable, like serious PMS. Then I don’t smile.
    Maybe she has PMS.
    I think you should stand as close to them as you can (while remaining on your property) and take pictures.
    Have no shame!

  30. Rachael

    I bet your bitch-ass neighbor told Paige not to talk to you guys because you’re renters. And you also hate Christmas.

  31. E!

    That Christmas frock is QUITE disturbing…she may be cute, but she isn’t a playboy bunny posing for the Christmas Calendar.

  32. Lisse

    Oh, that’s hilarious. Doug is also my favorite, and the red head – I can never remember her name, but she’s cute and has very good taste and was pregnant on the show for a while there.
    Anyway, it matters not, because I hope that neighbor gets Hildy working on her house.
    Thanks for sharing the photo, because now I won’t have to wonder which show this is yours, just have to remember Santa in go-go boots.

  33. sam {temptingmama}

    I can’t watch that show. I HATE Hildi with a passion. Doug used to drive me mental until I started watching Moving Up. Now? LOVE!
    I would so be snapping pics from the garage, or an upstairs bedroom. Picture me crouching below the window and popping up long enough to snap a couple pics, then quickly crouching again.
    lather, rinse, repeat.

  34. patois

    Okay, I admit to not really knowing the show or Paige Davis. (I will now also admit to not knowing who half the people in People magazine are.) But your writing? Fabulous. Write about anything. I’m there.

  35. Bob

    I guess the real important question remains: Would Bob hit that?
    Hell, I can’t see her face but from behind she looks ok. The outfit is kinda hot.
    Trading Places. I don’t watch TV, so I’m guessing this is some postmodern existential neo-transubstantiated identity self referential crass popular culture rearticulation of the ego dystonic fluidity of the marital dialectic?
    Either way,I don’t really give a fuck. Because when the angel-rockets come shrieking down from the big fluffy stratofuckulus clouds that look like ducks and bunnies and we all cower to the Godhead as He reveals himself to be someone who looks way way too much like the late Paul Lynde, we won’t even remotely care or evaluate upon the role-fixation rotational notions anymore. No way man. It will be everyone for himself/herself as the world thunders. As the world it thunders.

  36. Jessie

    Dude, did you get arrested taking pictures of Paige Davis? Is that why you haven’t updated in so long? Come back, I need my Y Entertainment!!!

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