Category Archives: Entertainment


Why “trollish” type comments do not bother me.

Commenter name: Mimi
Commenter IP address: 71.117.98.*
That’s bull shit. You are all addicted to those lakers and to that Kolbe
who is making millions of dollars thanks to all of your addictions,
meanwhile causes all those dramas in your life. It’s really stupid, that
you are all addicted to these lakers as if you are addicted to drugs. It’s
the same thing. Sit in front of TV and watch a game that never ends,
sacrify your children, the quality learning time you can give to them. The
Mom giving that lakers ticket is just sad, cause she is submissive and
letting her freedom guided by her husband who is addicted to watch a game,
above all he is not even fit. this society is just poison to your brains.
People are getting so ridiculous. good luck. Soon also, check your ass to
see how many pounds you gain watching that Tv

Because 99.99% the comments aren’t really about me. The search that led “Mimi” to my blog?
addictedtolakers copy
See what I mean?
For the record, “CHECK YOUR ASS” is my new favorite comeback to everything in the world.

My feelings on The Bachelor Finale summed up in an IM conversation. (And yes, I have feelings about The Bachelor Finale.)

HerOh snap. why didn’t he just pick one and not propose?
Me:OMG. what the fuck was that? he’s an asshole.
Her: crazy he just wanted to be on camera
Me: Yeah, that was pretty bad. I mean, he always struck me as the type that comes across as “too nice” and really is just a raging asshole I don’t know, I just hate him right now

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Yes, my outfit is from Target.

A few months ago I was contacted by a producer from Telepictures.
He thought my blog was funny and wanted to meet with me in person
about a project involving “moms.”
A week later, I was driving to the telepictures office in Burbank.
The entire way there I was trying to imagine what they wanted to talk
to me about. I was stressed out the entire way there because I had no
idea what was going to happen once I arrived there.
I can’t even tell you the amount of “nervous gas” that built up inside
of me as I made my way up the elevator to meet with people I didn’t
know about something I was clueless about.
*pfrrrrrrrrrat taaatataaatrrrrrdadtaaa*
I was greeted in the lobby by Jason, the man who had originally
contacted me. He was very friendly. So friendly that I kind of wanted
to invite him on a picnic where I would feed him fried chicken and
potato salad from Albertson’s deli and push him on the swings and make
him go reeeeeaaaaally high while we both giggles and he and shouted
things like “Higher, Y! Higher! Weeee!”
No, seriously, he was that sweet.
He took me back into an office where there were two women waiting to meet me.
It was a casual environment, which made me feel at ease immediately.
For some reason, I had imagined a huge room full of Very Important
People sitting in very large chairs staring at me, like “Who is this
Large Woman wearing an Old Navy Tshirt and a plaid skirt and why is
she wasting our time?”
Luckily, my day dream was way off base. There were no awkward stares
or very large chairs. Instead, there were three very friendly, funny
people who wanted to sit down and listen to me talk about myself and
my children.
No! Really!
Long story short—they had found my blog. They liked it, thought I was funny and that I was a good “story teller” (Shut it.). We talked, I toldstories. I left. A few months went by, yada yada yada, next thing you know I’m sitting with a group of incredibly funny, intelligent woman (one of them who just happened to be the (soon to be ex) wife of Shaquille O’Neal) shooting the shit about being moms.
And oh, there were cameras there to record it.
Go ahead and watch it if you’re curious as to what I have to say about spanking, but quite honestly, I didn’t say much. Being on camera didn’t come naturally to me. (as you can see.) I was also very self conscience my LARGE-NESS and was trying to not move so as not to jiggle. (ha ha. Look at how stiff I was.) What I would have said had I not felt awkward and large was probably something like this:
I used spanking with my first son, because it was the form of discipline that was familiar to me as I was spanked as a child. (In fact, the last spanking I got from my dad happened when I was 18 years old. And NO, I did not hit him back, Chris. Ha. Ha. But, that’s another story for another time.) I didn’t spank the way that my parents spanked. There were no belts or sticks involved and it was usually done in the exact moment that my child was talking back or doing things that were dangerous and could cause him harm, like, oh, I don’t know, LIGHTING MATCHES. But by the time my second son was born, I realized that there were other, more effective ways of disciplining a child.
Anyway. There was a lot more said that day and I have no idea as to whether that will ever go up on the site. What I do know is that entire experience was incredibly fun and although I hate looking at myself on camera (only watched it once, will NEVER watch it again.) I am glad that I didn’t let my insecurities and fear stop me from doing it. It’s not every day that a major production company finds your blog, thinks you’re funny and asks you to come on down and be a part of something like that.

You’re laughing with me, right? Riiiiiiiight

The best way that I can explain why I (along with several other bloggers) was invited to the set of The New Adventures of Old Christine is to copy a portion of the CBS press release.

As CBS gears up for the return of the comedy series THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE to the primetime television line-up, the Network is using non-traditional methods to reach out to audiences they know will instantly relate and respond to the show – moms and dads who write about their hilarious parenting experiences on the Internet. Top parenting bloggers from across the country were given the opportunity to visit the set and interview the cast of the show, which returns to the CBS primetime schedule on Monday, March 12. That night will feature a double-header of new episodes, from 8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT. The following week, Monday, March 19, the series will move into its regular new time slot, 8:30 PM, ET/PT.

So, basically, CBS had reached out to bloggers to help spread the word about the return of the show on March 12.
Awesome, yes?
The experience was one that I will never forget. And not just because there is a video that will live on to remind me. (GOD.) Because I never imagined that I’d be sitting across a table from Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Wanda Sykes, having a conversation about blogging and what it’s meant to me. And I never imagined I’d be sitting next to women who I’ve grown to love from their writing online, writing notes and giggling while sitting across from Famous People. It may sound silly to you, but it meant a great deal to me considering people aren’t exactly knocking my door down asking me to do really cool things like this. You know what I’m saying? I’m just really grateful to have been a part of such a great experience.

When I first watched the video, I had to stop it at the part after I mentioned farting, because it was hard to watch and listen to myself talk. I wanted to slap myself and tell myself to SHUTUP ALREADY. And I also wanted to apply a little powder to my very shiny face. Do you know that feeling that you get when you’re embarrassed for someone on television and so you have to change the channel, or look away and plug your ears while singing “LA LA LA LA LA I can’t hear you”? Do you know what I’m talking about?
Well, I got that feeling watching myself and was mortified that I was going to have to post this on my blog for everyone to see.
But I have really good friends who have assured me that it’s not as bad as I think it is and a husband who assured me THIS ISN’T ABOUT ME, but about promoting the show!
And he’s right! So…
I ask you to show CBS the power of The Blogs and watch the return of The New Adventures of Old Christine on Monday, March 12 at 8:00. It will return to it’s new time slot of 8:30 on Monday March 19th.
Speaking of March 19th!

On Monday, March 19, Emmy award-winner Julia Louis-Dreyfus and series creator and executive producer Kari Lizer, will participate in an exclusive virtual press conference with, a website with over 8000 registered members that has become a prime online destination for people to find and read today’s most talented female writers. The 30-minute live interview webcast, with questions provided exclusively by BlogHer members, will be conducted by the site’s co-founder Lisa Stone, an award-winning journalist

Now that I’ve done my “job” in helping to spread the word about the show, I’ll go ahead and leave you with a little video I like to call “Quit talking already and go apply some powder to your oily face, woman.” (But you know, I could also call it “I made Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Wanda Sykes laugh SO SUCK IT.” But I won’t.)
(I do hope you’ll watch through to see Julia’s answer to the question “what would you like people to know about the show?” because it was a really good answer and also because she is SO FREAKING HOT and I love her.)

Part 1 1/2

The pictures and the video (VIDEO!!) are in from my visit to the set of The New Adventures of Old Christine.
I only have one word to say about the video and that word is “dude”.
The thought “no way in HELL am I posting this for The Internet to see” has crossed my mind quite a few times, but then a friend lovingly reminded me of videos that I’ve posted before (“Dude, you’ve posted video of yourself doing The Dirty Dance. What’s the big deal with posting this one?”)and I realized she’s right. I’ve never really had a problem with making an ass out of myself to entertain people, so, what the hell, I’ll post it.
But not today!
Maybe tomorrow, or Thursday, but definitely by Friday.
Here’s a little preview of what you can expect on that video.

Photo: Cliff Lipson/CBS
©2007 CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.


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The New Adventures of Old Christine: Part One

I didn’t sleep much on Sunday night.
I couldn’t stop obsessing over which question I would ask. I wanted it to be The Perfect Question. Funny, intelligent, thought provoking. I was going to take this opportunity very seriously.
By the time midnight rolled around, I had decided “the hell with intelligent and thought provoking, I’m just going to ask them if they’ve ever taken Aerobic Dance class and if anyone wanted to take me on in a dance off!”
I arrived a few minutes early and met Self-made Mom and Manic Mommies. They were very nice and also completely unaware of who I was. Joy Unexpected WHAT? Y from the Internet WHO?
And you people think I’m popular.
Beth, the women who put this event together, came out to greet us and take us to the set of The New Adventures of Old Christine. The first thing that I noticed once we were on the set was this little table with place cards that said things like “JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS” and “WANDA SYKES.”
Across from that table, I noticed a few chairs, with bottles of water placed on top of them.
I realized that this was where we were going to conduct our little “interview.” I had NO idea it was going to be so intimate and that we were going to be so close to the actors. In my mind, I had pictured us sitting in the place where the audience usually sits and the actors sitting on the set. I imagined they’d hand us a microphone and the actors would have to squint their eyes to see where we were.
Man, was I wrong.

I know that you’re probably thinking “Big deal! They’re just people!”
I know this and yet Julie Louis-Dreyfus! And Wanda Sykes! Sitting right across a table from me! It was very intimidating.
We had to do a few things which I will keep a secret for now (but you will SEE later) before the cast arrived to do the interview.
I was very nervous and was completely aware of the fact that I was the fattest person in the building. (And there were two very pregnant women there, folks.) But, everyone on the set was so warm and friendly, that I was totally OK with being The Big Chub.
Until I realized there was a dude following us around with a video camera. Then I became very self conscience and tried very hard to not be caught standing alone. When you see the video. (Yes, there will be a video) I’m pretty sure that every time you see me, I will be running to hide behind someone. I actually thought about running out of the building, until I saw Liz walk in. If she wasn’t pregnant, I would have knocked her to the ground and licked her all over.
Instead, I ran up and hugged her and immediately started annoying her by repeatedly saying things like “Oh my God, I’m so nervous.” “Oh my God, look how close we’re sitting to the cast.” “Oh my God, I don’t know what to ask them.”
She was very gracious and kind to me. She held my hand (or more like I grabbed her hand and wouldn’t let go)and she really did help to put me (somewhat) at ease.
The moment we had been waiting for finally arrived and we were asked to “take a seat.” The cast walked in and when I saw Julia, I let out a very loud GASP because whoa, she was beautiful. I’ve always thought she was cute, but in person? She’s gorgeous. Her skin was perfect, her hair was amazing, her teeth were pearly gems from heaven, her body was tiny and tight. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.
Actually, every single person up there was beautiful. And so were their teeth. My GOD, THE TEETH.
After they took their seats, I felt a wave of nervousness take over my entire body. I started to shake and I could feel the gas welling up deep within me. I immediately wrote a note to myself.
Note to self: Don’t fart.
I honestly felt like I couldn’t breathe because “Oh my GOD, in a few minutes they are going to hand me a mic and I have NO IDEA WHAT IN THE HELL I’M GOING TO ASK THESE PEOPLE.”
Liz went just before me and as she asked her question, I was about to shit my pants because I knew that I was next and I still didn’t have a freaking question to ask. And just as I was about to start crying, THE GREATEST THING IN THE HISTORY OF EVER HAPPENED. The following words came out of the mouth of Wanda Sykes. “I’ll do anything for a laugh, I’ll fart on stage…”
Wanda said FART!
Suddenly, everything was right with the world.
As soon as Liz handed me the microphone, I was all “omigod I’m so nervous and its funny you brought up FARTING, Wanda, because I wrote a little note here to myself that says DON’T FART because ha! Ha! Ha! I get really gassy when I’m nervous! Ha! Haaaaaa! And so if you think someone may have… well, it was probably me! Ha! Ha! Ha!”
(They’ll be audio proof of that to share with you all very soon.)
Dudes, they were laughing! LAUGHING! Especially Clark Gregg who actually put his head down on the table, but I think his was more of a “Oh MY GOD NO SHE DI’INT” kind of laugh.” Obviously, he had never read my blog because hello! I talk about my nervous gas all of the time!
Fart Talk: The Great Ice Breaker!
Once I had everyone laughing, I no longer felt pressure or nervous and the words just started flowing from my mouth.
I told them that I wrote for a blog called Joy Unexpected and that I had very dedicated readers who knew I was there and how I wanted to take something back to them that would interest them and then, I proceeded to ask a Very Important Question…
”Do YOU read blogs?”
::::awkward silence::::
Seriously. It got so quiet in there.
“I didn’t mean to put you on the spot…”
Julia started to laugh and confessed that she didn’t even know what a blog was and a few of the others chimed in with confession of having never read a blog. One of the cast members said they had read ONE blog, but that it was poorly written and she hated it and vowed to never read a blog again.
I suppose a small part of me was hoping that they would say “why, yes, we know what a blog is! We were up reading yours last night!” I may have been a little disappointed that they had really didn’t know what a blog was as evidenced in my “notes” (if you can even call them notes because, well, look.)

(Those are my actual notes.)
(Shutup. I was nervous and shaking violently.)
After the “interview” was over, we got to sit down and watch a few minutes of a pre-taping of the show. Then, we hopped on a bus and headed over to a little coffee shop (which they closed down just for us!) and had a chance to talk with producers, executives and also Alex and Tricia from the show.
Then, we hopped back into the bus which took us back to the parking garage. We stood around and talked about what a great experience it was, said our goodbyes and headed back to our cars.
As much fun as I had that day, I was happy for it to be over because OH MY GOD, my girdle type underwear had pretty much cut off all circulation to my legs. I could NOT wait to rip those mofos off. As soon as I got into my van, I looked around, made sure no one was watching, reached under my skirt and began what felt like an hour long process of peeling off the chonies.
(Which reminds me, I really do need to take those things out of the glove compartment before someone (like MY KIDS) reaches in there to get a pen or a piece of paper and instead, finds my dirty, size Q chonies all wadded up in a big ball.)
At the end of the day, I was glad that I went. I was proud of myself for stepping outside of My Comfort Zone and putting my fears and insecurities aside. I was grateful for the oppurtunity to show the people of Hollywood who bloggers really are and let them know that “hey, we get gas too.”
I do not have pictures, because we were FORBIDDEN from taking pictures, but later this month, there will be pictures and also video (Ahhhhhhh!) that I will be able to post here. Stay tuned for THAT, because THAT is going to be very special.
I promise you.

“Do you know what a blog is?”

My daughter flat out refused to take a nap this morning.
She was all “Nap? Oh hells naw. I want to watch Barney and I WILL SCREAM UNTIL YOU LET ME WATCH IT!”
It’s as if she knew that I have a really great story to tell and she DIDN’T WANT ME TO TELL IT. (Yes, sometimes I think my daughter is out to get me and that she is trying to keep me from enjoying the simple things in life, like telling The Internet that I told famous people about my gas problem and the fact that I fart when I’m nervous. Oh YES I DID.)
Nap time is the time of the day in which I can take a shower (and also a dump, but not that the same time!) in peace. It is the only time in the day in which I can write, it is the only time of the day in which I can do pretty much anything that I want to do because I don’t have to worry about her climbing on furniture, or getting her daddy’s razor and attemtping to shave her face, or coloring on my walls, or taking all of the wicks out of my candles and so on and so forth.
She finally fell asleep about 10 minutes ago, but not without a fight. (and an assload of bribes. “I will buy you a Barney doll if you close your eyes RIGHT NOW and stop moving.” She’s too young to understand the “I will sell your toys on Ebay if you don’t listen!” threats, but she totally understands bribes. Whatever works, people. That is my parenting philosophy.) One would think that means I can finally write about my absolutely fabulous experience yesterday, right?
Because it is now 1:15, I must take a shower and get ready to pick the boys up from school.
But, because I love you, I’ll leave you with a little “taste” of what it was like until I can write about it later tonight.
[a little taste]
Me: Oh my God. I’m so nervous. I am so nervous. I don’t know what to ask. I’m so nervous.
Her: Don’t be nervous. You’ll be fine. It’s not a big deal, it’s going to be fun.
Me: “Oh my God. Hold my hand. I’m so nervous. I can’t do this. I know, I’m so annoying. I know you want to slap me. Oh my God, you can slap me. Seriously. Or tell me to shutup, because I’m annoying. And nervous. Did I mention I was nervous?”
But, it gets better! I swear! Because she took me up on my offer and slapped the shit out of me** and man, that knocked the nervousness right out of my system.
Until the cast came out and I saw their PERFECT TEETH.
Then I was nervous again.
[/a little taste]
**quite possibly a lie

Respect… My Press Pass.

(Ok, I am a jackass. I had accidently posted this entry twice and instead of deleting the one with ZERO comments, I deleted the one with all of the comments. I’m so sorry if you took the time to leave a comment, and because I feel so bad, I will probably go through my email and repost your comment. GOD.)
Last week I received an email from Lisa Stone asking if I’d be interested in going to see a taping of The New Adventures of Old Christine.
I’ve been to several tapings for television shows (Friends, The Price is Right, Kids Incorporated.**) and it’s always been a fun experience (well, except for OUTHOUSES that we had to use at the taping of friends because God forbid the “little people” actually get to use real restrooms.) and so I said that I would love to go see a taping of that show.
Lisa said that someone from CBS would be in contact with me to give me more information about the taping.
The next day, I received an email containing the details for the taping.
The set visit will take place from 2:00-3:30pm and will include a pre-taping and interview with the entire cast and show creator and executive producer Kari Lizer.
Interview? With the entire cast? And creator/executive producer?
My first thought was to back out. No way in hell could I do such a thing and let me list the reasons that ran through my head in no particular order.
“I have nothing to wear!”
“I’ve never done an interview before!”
“I have ugly teeth!”
“I’ll be the only fat girl there!”
“I’m just not smart, funny or thin enough to do something this awesome.”
This is what I do to myself every single time an opportunity presents itself in my life. I think of all of the reasons why I shouldn’t do it. I really don’t give myself much credit and the thought of failing or ruining EVERYTHING makes me physically ill and so I retreat and let the opportunity pass me by.
Then, I spend weeks, months, sometimes even years regretting it and crying about it.
It’s a pathetic way to live, really and over the past few years, I’ve learned to stop listening to those voices. They’re still there, I hear them, but I don’t give them as much power as I used to. (Thank you Internet and Dr.Phil for THAT.)
I’ve decided to go ahead and do it. I’m stepping (way) outside of my comfort zone –my “bubble”, if you will– but I know that if I let my (stupid) fears stop me, I will want to kick the crap out of myself later on for missing out on such a great experience.
There will be other bloggers there (quite possibly HER, which, holycrap I may die from the excitement!) although I’m not exactly sure how many. I’m hoping at least 100 so that no one will notice my giant body, or the gas that I will be expelling, or the fact that I have never interviewed anyone in my entire life and that the nervousness might get the best of me and I’ll end up doing something stupid, like, um, The Monkey.
(Lisa Stone is all “WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHY DID I ASK HER?”)
Here’s where you, my precious readers whom I love so much, can help me.
If you were me and you were sitting across from the entire cast and creator of The New Adventures of Old Christine, what question would you want to ask?
This may be considered “cheating” but I consider it giving me a chance to stand up and say “I write for a blog called Joy Unexpected and I have hundred of intelligent, articulate clean readers who have come up with some awesome questions that I’d love to ask you…”
I should let you know that Lisa is the one who gave me the idea to ask you. This is what she said.
Even better, why don’t you ask your readers what they think about the show and ask them for questions? They’re a FANTASTIC group. I adore you — but your readers make it even better.
She ADORES you, people. And so do I and man, I would really appreciate any help you could give me with this.

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