Ultrasound. Today. 10:40.
Finally, I found a doctor (oh! wait! it wasn’t a doctor, it was a nurse practioner!) who actually listened to what I had to say rather than instantly declare “You have anxiety! Here! Take a pill and shutup!”.
Also? Blood work to check my liver function. Did you hear that? BLOOD TESTS! Ladies and gentlemen, we have TWO medical tests! Can I get “GLORY!?”
I’m nervous because a) I have to leave Gabby with my mom and I never really leave Gabby with anyone because she’s my angel and I love her and don’t want anything bad to happen to her and? I love her company, because she makes me laugh very hard because she is HILARIOUS with her big old front teeth and HUGE gap between those teeth and her ATTITUDE PROBLEM which, I’m sure I won’t find funny when she’s 5, but for now? LOVE it. b) What if they find something really bad? I don’t think I’m prepared for bad news. I’m prepared for them to say “everything’s fine! You’re just crazy and making it all up in your head, now HERE, take this damn pill already and SHUTUP.”
Now, I can only hope that the ultrasound screen is completely out of my view because if I can see it? I will surely see something that will make me panic and think things like “OH MY GOD THAT LOOKS LIKE A TUMOR. I’M DOING TO DIE!”
(Note: I tend to get dramatic and irrational about these things.)
I truly am thankful that someone finally listened to me and is taking this seriously.
Category Archives: This Thing Called Life
A very late BECAUSE I’VE BEEN SO WRAPPED UP IN SELF LATELY update
Because I’ve been so wrapped up in my own, um, numbness? I completely forgot to post an email I recieved from a reader I had put in contact with Stacey. The email was dated September 30 (Selfish ASS, I am).
I talked to Stacey last night. She called to let me know that she had her baby on Wednesday. She had been told that she was having a girl so she was very surprised when out “popped” a little boy. She named him Kyle Lewis. She is doing much better; she was having problems with her blood pressure being too high. The doctors have been giving here medication to keep the pressure down but it causes her to feel extremely drugged. She hopes to be released on Saturday.
She let me know that she has received lots of candles thanks to your website, and she is very grateful. The UPS man now knows her by name and even commented on how much we must love her.
I’ll update you again after I go visit her. She is going to call me once she is home. My daughter and I are so excited about getting to love up on the new baby. I am going to put together an all boy gift basket to take with us. It has been 8 years since I had a newborn, Is there anything you can think of that would be perfect for the basket (you have 2 boys, I have none J). Is there anything that you couldn’t live with out after you had Gabby?
Nicole
I really wanted to thank each and every one of you for being so generous and TOTALLY AWESOME in helping her out. I will call her tomorrow to get another update.
It’s not funny and yet, JAJAJA
I’m so angry tonight.
Angry and hurt. Not for myself, for my husband.
Ok. For myself too.
Just when I thought I had a little extra money to splurge on some Fancy Hair Product and maybe just maybe book a flight to Las Vegas for a Girls Night Out, our dryer breaks. CANCEL THOSE PLANS.
No big deal, right? Wrong. Because it ALWAYS happens to us. We get excited about something and then BOOM… Life gives us the Middle Finger.
A few weeks ago, my husband, who is the hardest working man, dedicated, NEVER CALLS IN SICK, ALWAYS DOES MORE THAN IS ASKED OF HIM, never complains, EVER, asked for a small raise and a company truck. The company is always making it a point to tell him he’s the “best operator they’ve got” but they never put their money where their mouth is. His “boss” told him he couldn’t give him a raise at the time, but that, yeah! We’ll get ya a company truck and it will be yours to do with as you please!
Tony came home so excited, feeling somewhat valued and appreciated. He was smiling from ear to ear “I’m getting a company truck babe! It’s ok if I didn’t get the raise, they’re giving me a truck, I’m ok with that!”
He’s been waiting patiently for a few weeks now. Last night, he got the call that they had a truck ready for him. They informed him it was “an older truck” and that it “needed a paint job.”
All day long, I was thinking about it, wondering “How bad could it be? Surely, they’ll not give a piece of shit truck to THEIR BEST OPERATOR! When they say ‘a paint job’, surely they mean there are a few scratches that need touched up!”
Four pm rolls around and I hear the familiar sound of boots stomping dirt on the sidewalk. I run to the door. The look on my husband’s face said it all. I KNEW it wasn’t good. He was visibly upset. I took a deep breath and I looked over his shoulder. As soon as I saw it, Iunderstood why he looked so damn depressed.
Y’all? Behold The Company Truck, Which, They Weren’t Lying, Needs A Paint Job, Among “Other” types of Jobs.
Too bad I didn’t have a blog back then, because The Internet NEVER would have let me wear that veil.
I believe I wrote about “My Big Fat Stupid Ugly Germican Wedding” once before. However, today, I was doing what I do when I get emotional…looking through photo albums. As I flipped through the pages of my wedding album, I thought OMG! I have to take pictures of this for The Internet to see how HILARIOUS my wedding was.
People. It IS hilarious.
I must defend myself before you see these pictures.
1.) It was 1990. “Bigger” “Puffier” = “Better”
2.) I was only 19 years old. My parents still controlled everything
that I did. I’m not bringing that up because I’m bitter, but
because that explains a)why I am NOT wearing makeup. b)why I am
NOT wearing jewelery. c) MY HAIR
3.) I wish I had a third reason, but I don’t. But, man, I wish I
did.
Are you ready for Pure Puffy Hotness?
Let’s start with The Bangs, shall we? Because I KNOW you’re freaked out by The Bangs. A week before the wedding, I had no bangs. My hair was all one length and MAN, was it long. My friend was going to pay for this really awesome stylist named “Johnny” to do my hair. BUT, for reasons that I will not get into here, my parents didn’t want “Johnny” to do my hair, SO, I decided to use my mom’s friend’s “stylist” (and I use that term VERY LOOSELY). She decided to chop me some bangs, an entire TOP OF MY HEAD worth of ’em and RAT THEM TO HEAVEN. Then, she just put the rest of my hair in a BUN that half fell out before the wedding even started. Perfect!
The Veil. What can I say about The Veil? “IT was HUGE?” “Man, that’s a LOT of pearls!” Seriously. It is what it is. And, what it is, was FUGLY.
The Dress. I was so damn proud of those “puffy sleaves”. I aint even gonna lie. What I did not realize was how “Amish” the dress was. Because… THERE IS NO SKIN SHOWING WHATSOEVER. But, hey, it had puffy sleaves AND “A Train” “With Bows”!
Lack of makeup/jewelery. It was against my parents religion. That’s all I can say about that.
I think I’ll let those pictures speak for themselves.
Remember, I said “Bigger”=”Better”? That would be why my cake was BIGGER THAN GOD. 3 foot base cake, with 4 round cakes, a fountain, and a stairway to heaven. Don’t be jealous of my Cake With A Fountain.
There is ONE picture from our wedding that I love. For several reasons. My Tiny Waist, the smile on Tony’s face (because, you know why.), how happy we look. And for a moment, when I look at that picture, I forget how, um, HORRIBLE everything about our wedding was, but then, I LOOK AT THIS WITH THE HAIR STYLE FROM HELL and I am reminded that, yeah, our wedding was so very ugly. (But so very hilarious. At least I can laugh about it.)
See? Not a scam.
I want to thank everyone who has offered to help Stacey. I noticed that almost everything has been purchased off of her baby registry. You guys are awesome. If you had written asking for her address and I didn’t respond? I was NOT ignoring you…Please know it was just an oversight (as I was OVERWHELMED with emails regarding helping, which is so awesome.)
I just recieved an email from a reader whom I put in contact with Stacey. She was able to meet her last night and spend some time talking with Stacey (and her brother, who is living with her). Something I did NOT know? She was at the superdome. Ugh. If you’re interested, click on the extended entry to read the email.
Again, thank you for your help and generousity.
Proof is in the …..
Some concern was brought up in the comments of my last post about the whole “Stacey” story possibly being a scam. I wasn’t upset by the suggestion. I did get a tad bit defensive (because, DO PEOPLE THINK I’M THAT STUPID?!), but that’s just how I am. I’m highly emotional and react without thinking things through sometimes. Ok, most times. Ok, pretty much all of the time.
I emailed the lady I had met at Target, Kim. I told her that I had no doubts, but that some people had questioned the story. (Understandably so.) She sent a reply, along with pictures. I will not post the pictures, but I will post the email, minus the personal details. I can provide anyone truly concerned with that info, but I’m hoping this will put any doubts to rest.
Yvonne: I am sending you some pic from Tx. Also,you can call the mayor’s office in San Antonio,whom I spoke with today and they will confirm her at the shelter. Also,you can speak to the charge nurses at the shelter, Pat Osborne and Karen.
If you need anything else let me know. I will send the pic asap..Kim
p.s. I am senior vice president of Coldwell Banker Commercial. XXXXX, Ca. XXXXX XXXXXXr is my boss and he will tell you, I would never lie about anything like this.
She included pictures of the shelter and of Stacey and her phone number. Also, pictures of herself at the shelter with these people.
One more thing, I spoke with Ma’Melly and asked her if it would be possible to send boxes to her and have her deliver them personally to Stacey. She was all “OF COURSE! I’D LOVE TO HELP!” So, today, she’s going to call Stacey to find out exactly where she’s staying. Email me if you were unable to have something shippped to the PO Box and I’ll put you in touch with Melly.
Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping. We are making a difference. You all are incredibly generous people.
xoxo
Update
I’ve made a baby registry for Stacey. I called her to make sure it was ok with her. She was very thankful and I told her I’ll be keeping in touch in case they move her, so I can make sure anything purchased is sent to the right place.
Baby registry.
If you can’t buy from the wishlist but you have things you want to send (and I know some of you do, I’ve read your emails and will be responding very shortly) to her on your own, like pampers/clothing for her or her kids/personal items, I’ll send you her P.O Box info.
I love you guys for being so concerned and generous. I KNOW people are pretty much spent, so the fact that so many of you have responded is awesome. Thank you. So SO much.
**UPDATED**
I have a reader who lives in SA. She called Stacey this morning, then called me back with some GOOD NEWS. Stacey got an apartment! And? She’ll still be getting everything that’s sent to her P.O Box, so no worries there. I called her immediately after hanging up with Nicole. I told her there were gifts on the way and that I’d keep the word out about her other children. They are getting help with furniture, but They NEED clothing and baby things. They do not need toys, the kids have toys. OH OH and? I didn’t realize she has THREE children. A 2 year old girl. So, the clothing sizes she needs are as follows. Size 3/4t girl/ Size 8 boy/ Size 7slim girl and size 16/18 womens.
She sounds a little, um, leary (sp?) about all of the help but I don’t blame her, I told her that I completely understand if she’s a bit freaked out about all of these strangers wanting to help her, but I asked her to trust me that we’re Good People who just want to help her and her children. I can’t thank you all enough for your help.
Funny how things happen.
While in the checkout line at Target, a very friendly woman approached me to tell me how much she loved my earrings.
“They’re very egyptian. They look beautiful with your outfit, you just look so exotic.”
There was really no point in telling you THE ENTIRE COMPLIMENT, other than to let The Internet know that someone called me “exotic.”
I told her I got them right there from Target! Because, you know, I can’t afford to buy from the expensive jewelery stores with three kids.
That led to a conversation about how you really never have “enough money” to have kids, but, everything always works out. I told her that when I found out I was pregnant with the beautiful little girl who was waving at her, that we had absolutely NO MONEY and how I panicked.
“God KNEW you needed her, though.”
She then begin to tell me how she just got back from San Antonio, working with victims of Katrina as a nurse. She told me of a woman she cared for who lost her husband, is about ready to have a baby and has absolutely nothing.
My heart broke.
“I want to help her” I blurted out.
“I’ll give you her cell phone number, you can call her and ask her what she needs.”
I rushed home, grabbed the phone, took a few deep breaths and dialed the number. As soon as she answered, I started to cry. I introduced myself and told her I wanted to help her. She told me she doesn’t have ANYTHING for the new baby that is about to be born. Her kids don’t have anything.
From what Kim (the nurse that I met) told me, there are thousands of evacuees that are being completely ignored. She was angry. SO VERY ANGRY. She said it’s unbelievable what’s going on. She’s called the mayor and the LA Times because she wants everyone to know what’s really happening and how the people who “aren’t at the Atrodome with Oprah and the reporters” are being completely overlooked and are in great need.
That’s why I am going to do what I can to help Stacey. That’s the woman’s name. I have her phone number and now I have her PO Box number. If you’d like to help her, please, PLEASE email me and I’ll give you the address where you can send things to. She needs baby items (again, she has NOTHING) she also needs clothes (size 16) as well as clothes for her children (girl, size 7, boy, size 8).
I have been crying ever since I first heard this woman’s voice.
I feel blessed to be able to help her. If you’d like to help too, just leave a comment or email me.
(this is one of those posts that will have to go unedited because Gabby is awake and I shouldn’t even be on this computer, but I had to write about this. I had to.)
Kindness of strangers nieghbors
That is my livingroom. All of those supplies, for children, are from ONE nieghbor. The bags are FULL of school supplies. You can’t really tell from the pictures… And there’s diapers, pacifiers, shampoos, bug repellant, books…And she’s bringing more tomorrow.
And? 3 more neighbors have called to tell me they have or are getting stuff to bring later this week.
This is awesome. Awesome.
Every bit counts…
I’ve hand written a letter to my neighbor asking them to join in Michele’s effort to get School Supplies to victims of Katrina.
I’m hoping that they come through in a very big way. I realize if they do, I’ll be having to fork out a great deal of money for shipping, but I’m willing to do that to make sure these kids get things they desperately need right now.
To those of you, be it friends or strangers, who want to throw your “BUSH” comments my way, how about you use that energy to help the vicims instead of sending me emails of leaving me comments, because, really? How is that helping?
Now, I’m off to Kinkos to have the flyers printed so that me and the kids can pass them out. Then, it’s off to Target to buy some supplies to donate. I can’t even describe how good it feels to be doing something…
**Michele has set up a Wishlist for those who want to help, but don’t have a paypal account or the time to buy/ship the items to her.