Ok.
A couple of things.
-I did not say “And I’m not just saying that because I got to pee on Stage 5 of the Warner Bros. lot where Julia Louis-Dreyfus might also pee between takes!” Liz said it in her post about the taping.
-I did not say that I was “inundated with free stuff”. I said that I am inundated with OFFERS for free stuff and that I have turned the offers down because I do NOT want my content to turn into a “today, I made ::insert name brand biscuits here:: for dinner and mmmmm they were delicious and hey! have you entered their recipe contest yet?” blog**. When I do write about any type of products on this blog, (which is hardly ever) it is because it is a product that I am in love with, ((OMG! Fabric Softener!) that I bought with my (husband’s hard earned) money and want the entire world to know about them(OMG! Oxiclean!). I also said that yes, I do have ads on my side bar and am not opposed to that in any way, but that’s because I do not have to change my content or write product reviews on the ads placed there.
-That said, if anyone ever starts handing out free Starbucks gift cards or Laker tickets, I’m ALL OVER THAT.
-Blogola? HAHA.
-Unfortunately, I did say “it was totally rad” in reference to my visit to the set of Old Adventures of New Christine. What can I say? I am a dork and you all know this.
-I sign all of my emails with “xoxo”.
-I did the interview with the cast of New Adventures of Old Christine because I thought it would be an great experience (hello? When you get a chance to talk with Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Wanda Sykes, you freaking TAKE IT.)
-I was not pressured to write anything that I didn’t want to write about my experience or the show itself. I wrote whatever I wanted to write and no one told me to do otherwise. I don’t deny that they used me to help promote the show. I mean, DUH, that was the whole point. But, no one told me that I had to write good things about the show or my experience.
-I hope my parents don’t read the WSJ. But if they do, um, today is going to be TOTALLY RAD!
And finally
-I finally gots me my own internet connection. Let the blogging resume!
**not that there’s anything wrong with that.

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Are you going to BlogHer?
(Real post coming soon. Stupid Termite Guy ruined my day. But, more about that later. For now, I must know if you plan on going to BlogHer.)

I need your help.
How do you define “mommy blog”?
Is it simply a blog written by a woman who happens to be a mom?
Or is it a mom who writes about her kids most of the time?
Or is it something else?
Also, do you consider this blog a “mommy blog”?
I have had a post swirling around inside of my brain for a while now and I’d love to hear the answers to those questions before I write it.
Thank you.

Wow.
I had no idea so many people were lurking around here.
I asked that people leave a real email address because I planned on responding to every comment, to be all cute and say things like “thanks for playing along!” Obviously, I didn’t expect 400 (!!!) of you to play along.
This is going to take a while. And I also think it’s going to leave a mark.
Honestly, I was floored by the number of people who came out from hiding! I’ve had so much fun reading through the comments (and yes, I do read them all, silly people.)
There are people who are battling cancer, people who almost got killed by a shark, people who are pregnant, people who cringe when I drop the F-bomb (but still read anyway. Thank you.) There are girls named “Ryan”, people who have DickLords just like mine, there are AEROBIC DANCE INSTRUCTORS!
Speaking of Aerobic Dance… I had no idea so many of you enjoyed reading about my Adventures in Aerobic Dance. (Ha! Ha! “Adventures.”) I figured that they were annoying and not very funny to anyone except me, but I kept writing about it because I was obsessed with it and couldn’t stop myself. (And I was truly obsessed, to the point of canceling doctor appointments and fantasizing about punching Old Wimmins who were trying to take “my spot” in the class)
And yes, I had “a spot” in the class. Front, left, thank you very much.
Anyway, it was pretty great to read that some of you actually ENJOYED those posts and actually want me to start writing about them again. I will, but sadly, classes have been reduced to ONCE a week (blame the Step Class Bitches. IT IS THEIR FAULT.) I plan on making my triumphant RE-Return this coming Monday.
Whoa, I got all excited about Aerobic Dance Class and started talking about myself again. And this post isn’t about ME.
I wanted to mention two of the comments left in the delurking post that struck me as “Hilarious” and that I must share with everyone who didn’t feel like reading through all of the comments.
Let’s start with this one (which happens to be my favorite because she said LUBE)from Kate.

I have 786 reasons to enjoy your blog, but enough about you. Let’s talk about me:
My family doesn’t know this, but my cousin (and close friend, though I’m reconsidering that designation) has, in the past year, became a gay porn star (he was already gay, but not a porn star, just to be clear) and has had mcuh success. Like a lot. But I’m pissed– not because he’s a porn star or gay or crazy, even. Here’s what makes me so hostile and petty and rude and selfish: he didn’t bring a gift to my wedding this past summer. Hello?! He’s a PORN STAR!? Where were the wads of cash? Or the trips? Or even just some nice lube for the honeymoon? Excuse my lewdness, but it’s a thing about me and if anyone’s got a tip about how to weasel a gift out of him, let me know…
p.s. sorry to attempt to make this an advice column.

The nerve! Not even a Tube of Lube? Now, I have to admit that I’m a little jealous that I do not have a gay cousin. Wait, I think that I have a gay cousin, but he does not do porn. At least not that I know of. Now, if any of you clever people who read this (and I now know that there are at least 408 of you!) have any suggestions for Katie and how she can “weasle a gift” out of her porn star cousin, please feel free to leave them in the comments.
Next, I’d like to share with you THIS gem from Metalia. (And let me just tell you that Matalia is pretty damn funny. You’ll see.)

B) In the spirit of your request, however, hi! And something you don’t know about me is that I’ve never watched a soap opera in its entirety. Once, I watched Passions for 25 minutes, because my friend told me that there was a monkey nurse who had wedding fantasies about one of the characters, and I flat out did not believe her. After seeing the monkey in a wedding dress, I was horrified, and stood corrected. Sadly, I was fascinated as well. This is why I do not watch soap operas. I’m obsessed with what I saw until this day. (This is actually from my “100 things” list, so I’m sort of cheating, but it’s something I feel you should know about me, nonetheless.)

I emailed her right away because, while I knew that show was crazy from some of the previews I had seen, I had no idea there was a plotline involving a NURSE MONKEY who has FANTASIES about marrying a dude.
Her response will be filed under “ones that made me laugh until I cried (and quite possibly, ripped one.)”

So, I swear I am not making this up…also, I feel it is extremely important to point out a very key fact that I omitted in my comment: The monkey nurse? Yeah, her name was “Precious.” Not only do people watch this show, but apparently, Professor Google has informed me that a number of nurses were highly upset by this plotline, and its implication that a monkey could do a nurse’s job.
Whatever, yo. The point here is this:
In few brief moments that I watched, this is what I learned: Precious the monkey nurse was apparently in love with a tall dark and studly character on the show. She then had a daydream where she was walking down the aisle, in a monkey-sized wedding gown, towards the guy. I want to say there was a honeymoon sequence as well, wherein she donned monkey lingerie (mongerie?), but I think my brain may be making that up, for it is too good to be true.
Do you see why I can’t get involved with this? It’s just too much awesomeness.

Mongerie. MONGERIE!
Were it not for “delurking week” (oops, there go my eyes, rolling into the back of my head.) I probably would have lived my whole life without hearing that. (Mongerie!) Nor would I have known about The Nurse Monkey who wanted to get in on with The Stud (who was NOT a monkey). I would not have known that there were gay porn stars rolling in The Money who are too cheap to buy their cousins a wedding present. I would not have known about the people who I would not have known about each of the 405 of you that took the time to “introduce” yourself.
In all seriousness, the things that some of you said really did humble me and help put some things into perspective for me. I am grateful beyond words for the support that I have recieved from this little place called “My Blog.”
I don’t expect “everyone to love me.” (And, really? Who does? I mean, it would be nice, wouldn’t it? If everyone loved you? But I think most reasonable people understand that not everyone will. I also think the “NOT EVERYONE LOVES YOU.OR YOUR KID” thing is just something that people like to say to justify being an asshole on The Internet.) I actually think it would be quite easy to hate me after reading what I write here on a daily basis. But, here’s the thing. I’m not trying to be famous, or write a book, or get a TV show and I’m certainly not going around The Internet bothering people. I’m just here, writing about my life, because I enjoy writing. And the fact that people relate to what I write and feel connected to what I have to say is just sweet (chocolate) icing on “The Cake.”
(Whatever THAT means.)
So, thank you again for “delurking” and telling me a little bit about yourself. Now, watch your inbox for my response. It should be there by 2008. I promise.
DO NOT OPEN THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED LAST NIGHTS EPISODE OF THE OFFICE

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This week is Delurking week.
I roll my eyes when I say that outloud and yet, I would love to know who is reading but not commenting.
So, in the spirit of being a lemming, I am going to ask that you let yourself be known and leave a comment.
I only ask two things.
That you leave a real email address and that you tell me one thing that I should know about you.
Ready?
Go.

I just recieved an email from my friend, Mieke. Apparently, she knows how incredibly awesome my readers are because she asked me to PLEASE send them (you!) to her BALAWWWWWG.

Because Friday was World AIDS Day, for each comment left here on this post, I’ll give a donation of one US dollar to the Layla House for children orphaned by parents who died of AIDS. You need to leave your name (“Anonymous” will do, if you’d prefer) and your location (city –or region — and country), just because I like to see where everyone’s from. I’ll keep comments open until midnight Tuesday night. Remember: name, city & country.

How easy is that? Leave a comment, help The Children. (And also, help make The Liberal pay. THE LIBERALS, THEY MUST PAY!)
In all seriousness, I think it would be really great if you could take a minute and leave her a comment, let’s see if we can’t get it up to 300 dollars comments.

Are you ok? Do you need me to bake you some cookies? Because I will.
I’m worried about you.
Love,
Me

This is a test of the “IS MY BLOG WORKING YET? OH MY GOD IT BETTER BE” system. This is only a test. Had this been an actual post, you would be reading things like “I DO NOT CARE HOW OTHER PEOPLE PARENT THEIR CHILDREN, I DO WHAT WORKS FOR ME AND MY FAMILY.” And also “Is anyone else watching Big Brother All Stars and if so, hahaha DID YOU SEE BOOGIE CRY?”
This concludes the test.
Carry on

What is the funniest blog that you read? A blog that literally makes you laugh out loud?
That blog for me is FourFour. Rich is brilliant and hilarious and I am sort of in love with him.
Now. Your turn. Leave the link to the funniest blog that you read in my comments so that I can go there and laugh, because I’m tired of crying today.
Please?