A few weeks ago I received an email that made me literally jump up and down with excitement. An opportunity of a lifetime– at least it felt that way to little ol’ unimportant me. I was asked to keep This Thing a secret, so I had to keep all of the joy and excitement to myself.
Oh, The Joy! Oh, The Excitement that was bursting deep within my soul!
I often thought of how exciting it was going to be to actually do This Thing. I had some doubts and fears– it was going to have to take a giant step out of my comfort zone, for sure. I was definitely nervous. But mostly? I was THRILLED. “Things like this don’t happen to me! I’m so lucky!” I would think to myself as I was driving, or doing laundry. Or while running on the MOFO treadmill.
Today, I received another email.
The thing that I was so excited about? This Thing I’ve been dying to tell people because IT IS GOING TO BE SO AWESOME AND YOU WILL BE SO PROUD OF ME, EVERYONE!” This thing isn’t going to happen for me after all.
When I read the email, I felt sick to my stomach. And then? I started to cry. The Ugly Cry. The Snot Running Down My Face Eyes Swollen Shut Cry.
I was devastated.
I asked Tony to go get me a latte and a banana chocolate chip coffee cake because damn it all to hell. “Anything else?” He asked, in the delicate way he asks questions when I’m losing my shit.
“Yes” I answered. “Can you order me a better life?”
Then I cried some more.
I know, so dramatic. So over the top dramatic.
It’s just… I’m so tired of being disappointed, of things not going my way. I’m tired of getting my hopes up only to have them crushed.
Now that the day has passed me by, I’m no longer crying. I’m choosing to no longer focus on my hurt and disappointment, but instead to focus on learning from this experience. I’m trying to look at The Bigger Picture and figure out what it all means. I have to believe there is something to be learned from this experience.
There is a life lesson here, I’m sure of it. I’m just not so sure what that lesson is just yet.
Kids Say the Burn-iest Things.
G: Daddy, did you know that Jesus died on the cross for you?
T: Yes. I know that.
G: Do you love Jesus?
T: Yes. I love Jesus.
G: Well, then why don’t you ever go to church?
T: (Thinking of an answer) You know why?
G: Because you’re too lazy?
Ethan, from the other room: Oooooh, Dad. You just got burned by a six year old.
Because Jumping is Dangerous
Once upon a time I confessed to the internet that I do not let my kids eat cookie dough because I’m too afraid they’ll get salmonella poisoning and quite possibly, die.
The conversation that took place in the comments was interesting. Some people were like “Raw eggs are dangerous! You are so right not to let your kids eat it!” Other people were like “JOY THIEF! You are depriving your children of being a child! LET THEM EAT THE DAMN CAKE BATTER!”
I’m proud to say I still do NOT let my children eat raw cookie dough/cake batter.
Today, I am confronted with another parenting dilemma in which I question whether I’m being a paranoid, over protective freak.
I will not let my daughter jump on a trampoline.
This issue came up a few times when the boys were little. They’d ask if they could jump on the neighbors trampoline and I’d be all “No!” And they’d be all “But mom! Why.. ha ha Did you hear my fart? That was the best fart ever! LET’S PLAY BASKETBALL!”
Gabby is not as easily distracted. She made a new friend in the neighborhood and this friend has a MOFO trampoline. She was invited over right now and the first thing out of her mouth was “May I please jump on the trampoline?”
Here is the conversation that followed:
Me: No. You can’t jump on the trampoline.
Her: Why not, Mommy? They’re so fun!
Me: Because they’re dangerous! You can injure yourself so easily!
Her: Oh my GOSH, Seriously, Mom? That doesn’t happen in real life! That only happens on America’s Funniest Home Videos!
(hahahahhahaha)
So, I ask you, Awesome People Who Read My Blog, do you (would you) let your child jump on trampolines? If yes, tell me why you’re not afraid they’ll flip off, land on their head and break their necks.
The Best One
I took a lot of photos while in New Orleans. I’m not happy with most of them– but this one. Oh, this one. When I was standing there next to that cross, sun beaming on my face, I imagined this shot in my head. But could I bring it to life? Could I get the sun flare exactly the way I imagined it?
Using what I’ve learned about shooting in manual, I could.
And I did.
I love this. I really love this.
Missing Me
Last night, I returned home from a 5 day trip to New Orleans just a little bit after midnight. The kids were all fast asleep in their beds. That didn’t stop me from heading to each of their rooms to see their most beautiful faces. I tried to wake Gabby up, because she had made me promise to wake her up when I got home. She wouldn’t budge. So, I kissed her forehead and headed to the kitchen for a glass of water before I went to bed.
At the edge of the sofa, I noticed a piece of paper covered in familiar hand writing. I picked it up and began to read.
I can’t stop looking at your fase. How precious, I thought to myself.
I turned the piece of paper over to see if she had written on the other side.
She kept that photo close to her while I was gone because she missed me. She couldn’t stop looking at my face.
It feels good to be loved like that.
Pretty Sleeping Angel Baby Except HA HA Not Really
For the past twenty years, my husband has kissed me while I’m sleeping before he leaves for work. He tells me he loves to watch me while I’m sleeping, because I look so pretty while I sleep. One time, he said “you look like an angel.”
Over the years, I’ve come to believe him. I honestly and truly believed that I look like a precious, baby angel when I’m asleep.
Sometimes, the sound of him getting ready in the morning will wake me up, but I keep my eyes closed, knowing that at some point, he’ll look over at me with loving eyes and think “look at my beautiful sleeping angel! She’s so angelic with her sweet little angel baby face.”
There have been times where I’ve seen a baby sleeping and I’ve thought to myself “Aww, that’s probably exactly how I look when I’m sleeping. No wonder Tony can’t stop kissing me in the mornings!”
***
A few months ago, I drove with friends to Vegas. On the way home, I fell asleep in the car. Lucky everyone in the car, getting to see The Sleeping Baby Angel. I woke up to the sound of silent laughter. “What is going on!?” I demanded to know, as I wiped the drool from my face. (precious baby drool.) They eventually fessed up to taking photos of me while I was sleeping.
I wasn’t prepared for what I was about to see.
My New Favorite Dress (That I Can’t Stop Talking About.)
(Size 14. Ross- $22.00)
Here’s the thing. I don’t make good Fashion Choices because I my Fashion Sense sucks. When I do find and wear something that people love and compliment me on, I feel so proud. Because it almost NEVER happens.
I’m trying to be more fashion conscience and to wear things that are stylish, but most times, I fail.
I didn’t fail with this dress. I got so many compliments when I wore it on Thursday night. And it was nice to get complimented on something I was wearing, because that pretty much never happens.
The way that I felt wearing that dress has me totally excited about shopping for clothes again. The fact that I can pull something like that off (fitted! with stripes!) has me thrilled in a “Oh, the possibilities!” kind of way.
I promise, this will be the last time I talk about this dress. (But I can’t promise you that I am not going to Ross again this week to find another awesome dress that I will love and write about here and on Facebook and on Twitter.)
***
(Don’t forget to click over to the review blog to check out the Tropicana and Walgreen’s reviews/giveaways.)
Love Is Made To Be Shared
“Did you see the picture I made for you?” my daughter asked.
“No, where is it?”
“Mom! It was on the driveway! I made it so you would be surprised when you came home.”
I had noticed the scribbles on the driveway when I had pulled up, but didn’t pay attention to what it was. I ran back outside to look. I had parked the car right over the beautiful picture she had so thoughtfully created for me. I went back inside, grabbed my keys and moved the car.
It was a beautiful picture of me and my daughter, holding hands. Next to the picture, she had written the words “Love is made to be shared.”
I stood there, looking at it, taking in every detail. My daughter’s love, poured from her heart, through her little hands, laid there in the driveway for me to see.
And I had parked my car right over it. Because I was too distracted by life to notice it.
Through that simple act of love, my daughter has reminded me to slow down and take time to appreciate the beauty in the small things. To absorb the love that surrounds me, and to then pass that love onto others.
Oh, Time.
Me and my boys, in 2002, the year that I started this blog-
Here we are, almost 9 years later.
Crazy, right?
****
(Don’t forget to click over to the review blog to check out the Tropicana and Walgreen’s reviews/giveaways.)
Teach M(om)e How to Dougie
I was driving Andrew and his friend home from drama rehearsal. On a sidewalk of a busy street, there was a man wearing a Statue of Liberty costume, advertising a tax preparation service. I honked and did a little Upper Body Dance. Made the dude’s day, you guys.
My son turned to his friend and said “I’m sorry you had to see that.”
The both started laughing. I was all “Hey, that guy LOVED IT. Nothing wrong with my moves.”
That reminded my son of a story.
“Oh my God, Steven, want to hear the most embarrassing moment of my life?”
I expected him to tell a story about a time he tried to do a slick dance move in front of a girl and failed. Or something like that.
But, no.
“We were at Kam’s birthday party. All of my friends were trying to get Tyler to do The Dougie. One of my friends pulled his car up to the house, turned his radio on really loud and we all went outside to see if we could get Tyler to do it. Tyler refused to do it, but guess who went right into the middle of the circle and started trying to do it? MY MOM.. Everyone was laughing and cheering. Meanwhile, me and Ethan were standing there, mortified.”
My son’s most embarrassing moment of his life, brought to you by me, his mom.
I can’t figure out if this means I win or lose at parenting teenagers.
But I can’t lie, I feel like a winner.