“FOR THE RECORD”

Dear Internet,
I do NOT have The Password. I never asked for the password because I am lame and didn’t even know about any of this. I only tell you this because I’ve already recieved 2 emails asking me about it, and, well, I hate to disappoint, but, uh, yeah, don’t have it. Don’t want it either.
Aren’t you glad I took the time out of my life to tell you before you had to go and waste YOUR time asking me? I’m so thoughtful, I know.
P.S.

Continue reading

Another one that will only be funny to me, but HAHA it’s my blog so I’m posting it anyway

What I found today when I went into my “DVR menu” will make the Top 10 list of Reasons Why I Love My Kids.
I’m going through the list of recorded programs to find the tom cruise in which she interviews Christopher Darden and I noticed the names of the programs had be changed. I did not KNOW that you could change the names of recorded shows, but, thanks to my son, now I know!
Starting Over is now “Starting to Poop.”
The Super Bowl is now “The Super Cereal Bowl”
Flavor of Love is now “The Flavor of Poop.”
WWE Smackdown is now “WE Will Smack You Down”
Drake and Josh is now “Poop and Pee.”
Celebrity fit club is now “Celeb Arm Pit Club”
Project Runway is now “Project Dumbway”
King of Queens? You guessed it, “The King of Pooping.”
Like, part of me was pissed because STOP MESSING WITH THE DVR ALREADY YOU TECHNOLOGICAL GENUISES. I mean, I once had to BAN Andrew from the DVR (That’s right, I ban people from things. That is why they call me “Cari Heffernon”) for messing with it too much. He’s such a show off with his knowledge of How To Operate Things With Remote Controls. It annoys the hell out of me.
But I found the changing of the names to be hilarious. I laughed so hard when as I reading through them.
“STARTING TO POOP”, PEOPLE.
I have to say, I was shocked, SHOCKED! That there wasn’t a single mention of “farts” or “balls” but he sure did make great use of “The Poop.”
I’m so proud to have passed on my totally awesome sense of humor to my children.
Seriously.

This post will be deleted sometime in the near future by the drunk asshole post removal team. (thank you kathy)

I just wasted a buttload of points on Wine.
I wanted a glass of wine to take the edge off because, DANG, I’ve got edges.
Well, being the kind of person who can’t stop at one, let’s just say, The Bubbly is all up in my system right now.
And that makes me want to be all honest and stuff.
Did you know I’m going to Blogher? Because I’m going to blogher. I can’t afford the conferences but you bet your ass I’ll be at the cocktail parties.
Cock.
Tails.
Ha.
Ha.
Quite a few people have said things to me like “oh, I can’t go, I’m not one of the popular people, no one will know who I am and I’ll end up in a corner by myself.”
To you wimmins, I say KNOCK THAT TALK OFF RIGHT NOW.
First of all, I am not one of The Popular people and Im going! And get this! Not ONE person has asked me to go. You know how on some blogs, you see people talking about how “this person and that person was begging them to go” or you see comments like “you better be going to blogher so I can meet you because you are so awesome!”
I didn’t get one of those. People don’t care if I go or not. Not one person ONE has said “OMG you have to go to Blogher!” to me.
But ask me if I care?
I don’t care! I’m going because I WANT TO GO. I KNOW that most of the people there won’t know who the hell I am. I know that “The Populars” will be like “Y who? What? Whatever!” And guess what? I DON’T CARE! I’m going anyway because I WANT TO GO. Because I think it will be fun. Because I love to have fun, because I am a fun person and I don’t give a SHIT if people know about my blog or not or if people ask me to sit at their table or not or if The Populars acknowledge my existance or not.
I’ve heard talk about “The Popular Table.” Who are The Populars? Do they like to boink? Do they shave down there? Do they love their vaginas as much as I love mine? If you give them a glass (or 3) of cheap wine, will they drink it and then want to have their Enchiladas stuffed? DO THEY WATCH THE GAUNLET?
Cock.
Tails. Haaaaaaa. Cocks.
I’m pretty sure I know who people are talking about when they talk about The Popular table. This is how I see it. People are going to “sit next to” the people they have bonded with. They are going to want to talk to the people they have a connection too. Sowhat if Dooce doesn’t ask me to sit at her table. That doesn’t make her a bitch, that doesn’t mean she’s stuck up or a dick. It just means that we aren’t friends and um, why would you want to hang out with people you don’t even know? Hey, maybe I don’t want to sit at the popular table! OR mabye, MY TABLE IS THE MOTHER FUCKING POPULAR TABLE.
I wish people would get over all of that drama and just FREAKING ENJOY LIFE.
Wine! How I love thee!
I’ve never felt like I’ve “belonged” in my life. I’ve always felt like an outsider.
There are The Pretty People, The Smart People, The People who Own Houses, The Creative People, The Witty People, The Rich People, The People That Everybody Loves Because They Are So Damn Fabulous.
Then, there’s ME.
But the older I get, the more I realize it’s not so bad to be me. Sure, I live in an ugly house and don’t have money to buy nice things and have saggy tits and I play with my gut in public, but I am loving person and DAG NAMMIT, I’m fun! THAT’S RIGHT, I AM HELLA FUN, PEOPLE, I mean, seriously,think about it, I know how to NAVIGATE A PENIS. It doesn’t get any “funner” than that. (ok, yes it does. When I bust out in The Worm halfway through the cocktail party, that is going to be MUCH FUNNER then penis navigation.)
I will never fit in, I will never be one of The Populars, I will never be The Pretty Girl, but I WILL TOTALLY BE THE GIRL WHO GOES TO BLOGHER EVEN IF NO ONE GIVES A SHIT IF SHE’S THERE.
And I will also alwasy be the girl who loves her a $2.50 bottle of blackberry merlot.
Updated.
I want to add something here.
My point wasn’t to whine that I’m not popular so that I’d get feedback telling me otherwise. I’m totally content with this blog and I love the people that read this blog. My point really was to tell the people who I’ve asked to go with me and who have said that you are afraid to go because no one will know who you are and that everyone will want to be around me and that you’ll feel like “a third wheel” to please, stop feeling like that and JUST GO so we can meet and have fun. Of COURSE, someone has twisted my post to make me look like an asshole who is fishing for “feedback” and that is not what the point was, my point was to say “Hey, no one gave me a special invite, and even though none of the so called “big name bloggers” knows who I am or gives a shit if I’m there or not, I’M STILL GOING BECAUSE I LOVE TO HAVE FUN AND I WANT TO MEET PEOPLE AND SOCIALIZE WITH OTHER WOMEN BLOGGERS AND YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME BECAUSE I WOULD LOVE TO MEET YOU AND HAVE A DRINK WITH YOU.
So there. If you still want to twist it, be my guest, I’m officially done trying to make you “get it.”

Slow and steady wins the race and all that positive crap. (AAAAHHHHHH!)

Yesterday I had a mini melt down at my weight watchers meeting.
I went fully expecting to lose at LEAST 5 pounds. (because, it’s been 2 weeks since my last weigh in and I had weighed myself at home the previous Monday and MY scale said I had lost 3 since the last weigh in, so, I was expecting at LEAST 2 more pounds, to make the 2 week total FIVE pounds which I realize is confusing but pretend like you’re following along because I’m too tired and FREAKED OUT to try to figure out a way to say it so that it makes more sense) I step on the scale and WW lady goes “You lost! 2.2 pounds!” And, I said “What the HELL?” And she said “Excuse me?” And I said “I’m pissed. I’ve been working MY ASS of 5 nights a week at the gym, sticking to my points (no cheating whatsoever) and ONLY 2.2 FREAKING POUNDS IN 2 WEEKS?” And she said “Well, that’s right on target, you’re supposed to lose 1-2 a week blahblahblah” And I said “I’m still pissed off.” And so, she said “Well, you can talk to the leader if you’re that upset, maybe she can help you.”
So, I walked up to the leader. “How are things going?” She asked. “Not good” I replied. “I’ve been working out for 2 hours a night 5 days a week, sticking to my points, drinking all of my water (which is TORTURE FOR ME, PEOPLE I HATE WATER.) And I only lost 2.2. I wanted more, I expected more and I’m disappointed.”
“You are right where you need to be, you’re doing great. blahblahblah.”
And then she gave me some speech about how I am expecting too much too soon and then she said “You tend to be hard on yourself, don’t you? You like to beat yourself up, don’t you?”
“Um… that’s what people tell me.”
“Yeah, I can tell. And I don’t even know you.”
She’s right. I am too hard on myself and I promised her I’d change my way of thinking and that I wouldn’t give up because I realize that the weight IS coming off, even if it’s not as fast as I’d like it to come off.
The entire way home, I cried, which, I realize is stupid because AS LEAST I’M LOSING, but I felt overwhemled. I have come so far, but I still have a long way to go and the thought of how much work I still have ahead of me makes me want to puke. I hate that my evenings have to be spent in the stupid gym, sweating and looking like a jackass trying to do such things as THE RIVERDANCE and weight machines without ripping farts because apparently? Weights give me gas.
I hate that EVERY MORSEL OF FOOD that goes into my mouth has to be accounted for and written down.
I was still pissed off when I got home and ready to say “Screw it! I give up! I’m done, over it, The Fat Wins!”
But I had this really great idea to pull out some old clothes, put them on and get a little perspective of how far I’ve come, regardless of what the damn scale says.
Man, that was the greatest idea I’ve had in a long time.
Remember this picture from Gabby’s birthday party in August?

Ah, the Spare Tire. Lovely.
Well, here I am in that same outfit this morning.

The Spire Tire is still there, but LOOK! It has shrunk!
And the clothes? Theyare baggy.
It felt so good to realize that, hey, yeah, the pounds may be slow in falling off, but the all of the hard work I am putting in is paying off, it IS showing and so, I will keep going, even if it is FRUSTRATING AS HELL.
Because, I will not let The Fat win. VICTORY WILL BE MINE, OH LUMPY THIGHS!

(I am dork! Hear me roar! D-O-R-K)
(p.s. I’m thoroughly enjoying your voice mails. Keep them coming! 206-202-1345)

As if it’s never happened to you.

It should be socially acceptable to rip farts whilst doing any weight machine that involves the squeezing of ones thighs/ass muscles.
Because, seriously, how is one supposed to concentrate on controlling THAT much weight AND holding in gas at the same time?
*updated*
TOTALLY UNRELATED TO ME FARTING REALLY LOUD AT THE GYM…
Whose idea was it to let Aaron freaking Neville sing The National Anthem?
Forget the fact that the man scares the living crap out of me, his voice? Is horrifying.
Oh my God. That was awful. Hold me.
Go Steelers!

Beaver

Yesterday, my husband told me that we have a gopher in the backyard.
I freaked out.
“A GOPHER? What the? Where did it come from? HOW? WHY? AAAAAAHHHH.”
He couldn’t believe how upset I got over a gopher, so he came to the most LOGICAL EXPLANATION FOR MY REACTION EVER!
“Babe, I think you have it confused with a beaver.”
Right, because, surely I couldn’t be upset about a gopher and must have thought he meant the creature with large front teeth, who eats tree bark and BUILDS DAMS!!
And I don’t want no beavers to be buildin’ no dams in my backyard!
I shouldn’t be surprised at his “beaver” comment, the man has a history of saying things that make me go “…THE HELL?
Like, the time that I was very sick and started crying about how much pain I was in and he pointed his finger at me, got in my face and yelled “I TOLD YOU TO LAY OFF OF THE DIET COKE, WOMAN.”
Huh?
Most of the time, his totally random, completely bizarre comments make me laugh hysterically, but when I’m “pre-raggin’ it” I want to tape his mouth shut with a maxipad.

Penis balloons are funny.

I’m still trying to recover from Saturday night.
This “getting old” business sucks.
I remember when I could bounce back from a night of rubber dicks and rum and coke like that. Not the case in my old age.
The Passion Party was more fun than I could have imagined.
Fun AND? Educational.
“Never put anything in your butt that doesn’t have a cord attached.”
Write that one down, people.
I was a slightly mortified at the beginning of the presentation, because the very pregnant lady used the words “handjob” and “stuff my box” in the first 5 minutes and I was like “lady, DO I EVEN KNOW YOU? Howza’bout easing into sessually explicit talk?”
But, then, she gave me a stick with a generous sample of cream that would make my nipples tingle and I was like “I love you, now why don’t you give me a little bit of that stuff that will make my vagina burn up in anticipation of some sweet love makin?”
And let me tell you, that stuff? The “enhancement” gel that you put on your, um, you know, hahaa, clitoris ha! HA! It makes you have to pee INSTANTLY and it burns like a MOTHER. Had she said “Your twat will BURN THE HELL UP” as opposed to “it will feel warm and tingly”? I might not have been the first one to stick my finger out so I could go to the bathroom and rub it on my ha! You know what.
I was the first one to try the products and the first one to laugh everytime she said “balls” and “handjob.”
I was also the winner of the “put the penis in the vagina” game. I called dibs on the dick (a plunger between my legs) leaving my partner with no choice but to be the “vagina” (a roll of toilet paper.) The team to get the “penis” into the “vagina” the fastest would win. I looked my partner in the eye and said “We’re SO winning this.” I hate to lose. The teams before us took over 20 seconds to achieve “penatration.” It took me less than 5 seconds to get mine in. BOOYAH!
Apparently, I know how to navigate a penis. Who knew!
I did order a few things, but I will not tell you what because that is only for Pighunter to know, but I will tell you that um, I will never be able to look at a dolphin in the same way ever again.
After the Party for Vaginas was over, we all jumped in a limo that was OVERFLOWING with liquor to head out to clubs for a little dancing and hilarious little “dares” for the bride to complete.
We each had to write our own dare for her. My dare?
Shout as loud as you can “I LOVE MY VAGINA!”
I thought it was funny.
Our first stop was El Toritos for a little dinner, you know, to absorb the absurd amount of alcohol we were about to consume. As much fun as I had talking with The Girls, I have to say, I can’t remember a time I have felt so stupid and pathetic as I did at that dinner.
They are have a college degrees, they all have sucessful careers, they all own houses and have lots of money.
Me? I don’t have any of the above. I’m an uneducated, overweight, housewife who got married at 19 years, popped out three kids and spends her days figuring out ways to stretch HER MAN’S money so she can pay the bills. I wanted to run outside and cry and maybe, perhaps run into oncoming traffic.
I can’t recall I’ve been more ashamed of the person I’ve turned out to be.
I know, I KNOW, I’m lucky because I have a good husband and three beautiful children and there are people who would kill to have such a precious family. I’m not trying to demish their importance and value in my life.
But, apart from my kids, I really feel like I am nothing. I am ashamed that I don’t have a degree. . I’m ashamed that even if I wanted to (which, right now, I don’t because I refuse to leave my little girl in daycare and I do LOVE staying home with her) I couldn’t go get a good job because “girlfriend don’t have an edu-kay-shee-own.” (If you got that, then you totally watch King of Queens and DON’T YOU LOVE THAT SHOW?) (And, man, I’m way overusing the parenthesis tonight and I should probably look up the word “parenthesis” because my un”higher”educated ass doesn’t even know if I spelled it right.)
But ENOUGH OF THE DEPRESSING, SELF HATRED SHIT, ON TO THE DRUNKEN GOODNESS THAT IS “BARHOPPING!”
After the dinner in which I felt ashamed and had to rip farts to aleviate the pain in my stomach, we hopped back into the limo and headed for a little pub called “O’Douls”.
I have to be honest and say that I didn’t want to go because I expected there to be music with pipes and lots of white men drinking beer, but man, was I wrong.
Let’s just say they should change the name of that place to O’Mexican’s. I felt right at home because the mexicans? They are My People.
In the limo, I was ALL TALK about “the dares” we had for the bride. I was like “Hey, if you don’t want to do one, pass it to me and I’ll do it because I’m WILD AND KAH-RAAZY and I DON’T EVEN CARE!” HA! HA! They whipped out the “Start a conga line” card and I was like “Hell to the no on that!” You see, I was in the midst of My People and I refused to bring shame to them. Like, what kind of a Mexican would I be if I busted out in a conga line during “Lean Back?”
Can I get a “Viva La Mexico?”
We decided to move along to a different place where we could annoy men (to help my friend complete her dares) and drink of The Devil Water. We ended up at a place called “The Palms” or something like that, I don’t know, I wasn’t paying attention.
It was at this point in the night I became completely aware that I was “The Fat Girl” of the group and pretty much of the entire club and, once again, wanted to run to the bathroom and cry. BUT! Instead, I drank lots of alcohol and pretended to be totally ok with the big, fat body I was sporting.
I almost forgot about it when when guy approached me to ask me if I was single.
“No, I’m married.”
“Damn. Ok, but you’re HOT.”
“HA! HA! Right.”
*Whispers in my ear* “I’m going to give you my number anyway, beautiful.”
Isn’t that special? I kicked him in the vagina.
I decided to leave the group and hit the dance floor. The “underage” girl who got in using a cousins ID joined me and we danced our asses off with a guy named Victor who, for some reason, wanted us to find a way to get him invited to the wedding. I, in semi-drunkeness, was all “dude, don’t worry, you’re so there and I gave him my email address to prove that I meant it.
As if I have that kind of pull with my friends. I still think they only invited me because they wanted me to do The Worm if it got boring.
It never did get boring. The entire night was a blast, from start to finish and everywhere in between. Well, except the part where I wanted to kill myself because the only thing I can say when asked “So, what do YOU do?” is “Um, make tittymilk and stuff.”
Oh…OH! And the part where my friend got sick in the limo on the way home and DEMANDED that the limo driver pull over. On the freeway. At two something in the morning. When OTHER DRUNK PEOPLE ARE ZOOMING PAST YOU AT VERY HIGH SPEED AND YOU COULD POSSIBLY GET KILLED INSTANTLY IF THEY SWIRVED FOR ANY REASON.
Ok, and the part where I had to hold my friend’s hair up and pull it out of her face WHILE SHE PUKED because um, remember, I don’t even clean my children’s puke because I FEAR The Puke. But, everyone left and I had no choice but to take care of her, even if she was yelling at me the entire time. (“Leave me alone, Let me sleep here on the cold, hard floor! STOOOOPP ITTTT.”)
But other than THAT. Pure awesomeness.
It makes me wish that someone had thrown ME a bachlorette party.
I always miss out on all the fun stuff, man.

And now I want you to imagine what The One Where He Tells Me He Kissed a Girl will be like…

When my son walked through the door yesterday, after having broken the “no walking home” rule, I calmly asked him to sit down so we could talk.
I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. I was conflicted about the situation.
The act of walking home isn’t a “bad” thing. He didn’t shoplift, or get in a fight, or snort crack. He walked home, with friends. HOWEVER, I had told me he wasn’t allowed to walk home.
So, I was upset that he had done something he knew he wasn’t supposed to do.
I started by telling him that I wanted to be clear that “walking home” wasn’t a bad thing, but the fact that he DISOBEYED ME was the reason I was upset.
At first, he tried to talk himself out of it. “You told me I could walk home if I had a friend with me.”
“That’s not what I said, Andrew. I said that perhaps I would consider letting you walk home IF you had a group of friends with you, but that for now, the answer is NO. Can I ask you why you didn’t just call BEFORE you took off walking?”
He put his head down and said “I knew you’d say no.”
“And you did it anyway?”
“Yes, because I really wanted to walk home with Ryan and Anthony, and I thought if I was with them, you wouldn’t get mad.”
I told him I needed a few minutes to think about what I was going to do.
“Mom, just know I’m sorry and I’ll never do it again.”
I spent a few minutes in my room, thinking of what to do with my son, the one I gave birth to almost 13 years ago, whom I love with every fiber of my being, whom I have spent my entire adult life protecting from anything that could possibly harm him. The one who is growing up TOO DAMN FAST.
I started to cry. I realized that the reason this upset me so much didn’t really have anything to do with the fact he broke the “no walking home” rule and almost everything to do with the fact that the little boy who emerged from my vagina after 2 hours of pushing, making me a momma13 years ago on March 3rd is no longer a little boy, but a budding young man.
Don’t get me wrong, he did disrespect me by breaking the rule, and that deserved to be dealt with, but, the fact of life is that kids do break rules from time to time. Even my perfect children. And yeah, I get upset and there are consequences, but this one act of disobedience is about much more than “not asking me first.” It’s about him growing up, becoming more independent, making big decisions…
It’s hard to put into words exactly what I’m feeling right now without sounding ridiculous. “He walked home without asking first, it’s NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.” I understand that, but this feeling that I have in the pit of my stomach the same feeling I had the summer before he began kindergarten.
I am not exaggerating when I say that I cried the entire summer. I couldn’t believe that MY BABY was no longer going to spend every day here with me, making me laugh, giving me kisses, making messes for me to clean up… I couldn’t even comprehend my mornings without him here with me. I cried every damn time I thought about him being gone for 4 hours a day.
And? I worried if I had spent enough quality time with him in his first 5 years of life. I should have taken him to the park more often! I should have read more books to him! I should have taken him to chuck e cheeses more often! I should have watched more movies with him! I should have cuddled him more!
I called my friend on one of my really “bad days” and told her that I felt like I hadn’t spent enough time with him. Her response? “STOP IT, you spend ALL of your time with him, you do fun things with him all of the time, you’ve been a great mom, DON’T YOU EVER QUESTION THAT.”
I’m having those feelings all over again. The feeling of “losing my baby boy to the big bad world”.
My heart is broken right now and I’m feeling a little lost.
I realize that I’m being very dramatic about this, but MY GOD IN HEAVEN I love that boy and I am scared as hell about all of the bad things that could happen to him as he becomes more independent.
I want to protect him, to keep him pure and innocent and the fact that I can’t do that for the rest of his life is a little hard to accept.
After a few minutes of thinking and crying and wondering what to do with He Who Disobeyed Me, I composed myself, walked into the kitchen, sat down next to him and talked to him.
I’m not going to go into the details of what happened when it was all said and done, but I will tell you that I know he won’t be doing anything like that anytime soon.
I also know that I need to sit down and reevaluate my “position” on the issue because the truth is that he probably is old enough to walk home with friends, but I just wasn’t willing to admit that until this very moment.

Mommy don’t play that.

My oldest son, who is in the seventh grade, just called me from his friends cell phone.
“Hey mom? I’m walking home from school with Ryan and Anthony.” He wasn’t calling to ask me permission, but rather to TELL me. He had missed the bus and was already on his way.
I’m very angry with him for making that decision on his own, especially since I’ve already told him he’s not allowed to walk home.
The school is not “far”, but it is far enough away that I’m not comfortable with him walking home. And it’s not just the distance that bothers me. It’s the fact he’ll have to cross several major streets. And, it’s the fact that he disobyed me. And, it’s the fact that I’m not used to him making bad decisions like that because he’s a really good kid. And it’s the fact that HE’S MY FIRST BABY. And it’s the fact that it’s only a matter of time before he’ll be telling me he wants to go on a date and can I buy him some shaving cream first so he can shave his Fuzzstache?
My mind is racing right now. What will the consequence be? And how much of his decision had to do with being afraid to tell his friends “Sorry, I can’t, my mom won’t allow me to.” And does that mean HE’S GOING TO DO THE POT IF SOMEONE OFFERS IT TO HIM, because if he can’t stand up to his friends about THIS, how do I know he’ll be strong enough to “say no to drugs?”
Perhaps I’m slightly overreacting, but you know what? This teenage business isn’t easy. The sense that I’m losing some of the control and influence I have over him and that his friends are gaining power over the decisions he makes is scaring the shit out of me.
I mean, we’ve talked about this many times and I’ve been VERY CLEAR on this subject. He knows he is ABSOLUTELY NOT ALLOWED to walk home. So, why was it so easy for him to disobey me and then call me to tell me that he was disobeying me?
I want the consequence to be severe enough that he thinks long and hard the next time he’s faced with a choice like this, but I don’t want to overreact either.
But I feel like this is serious. And like Oprah says, it’s not even about “walking home.” It’s about how easily he made a choice to go against the rules I set in place for his personal safety.
I feel like crying. I’m so disappointed in him. I realize that this is part of the “growing up” process, though. No kid is perfect. All kids make mistakes, but my job is to make sure that he learns from his mistakes. To try to steer him in the right direction and hope that the next time, he’ll make the right choice.

Perhaps a shower is in order.

Everytime I change my daughter’s poopy diaper, I make a big fuss about how horrible it smells.
I crinkle my nose up, start fanning my nose and say “Ewww, caca…ew”.
This morning, me and my daughter were laying on the bed, talking and being silly. I pulled her close to me to hug her and she unknowingly burried her face in my arm pit.
She pulled away, made a sour face, started fanning her nose and said “Ew… CACA… EWWW”
I think it’s safe to say my daughter just told me that my pits smell like shit.